Twenty-nine weeks, three days and counting. According to the book, baby now weighs 2.7 pounds and his “crown to rump” length is 10.4 inches. Total baby length is 16.7 inches. My total weight gain is supposed to be between 19 and 25 pounds by now. I think I’m on the low end of that range. Technically speaking, this baby is now viable and could survive (with medical help) if he were born now. So, that’s a nice thing to know.

All is well, as far as I can tell. I’m wondering, at what meal did I swallow a set of bongo drums and a batting cage? Somehow I don’t remember doing that, but judging by the thumping, bumping, bashing, and jiving going on in there, it must have happened. Basically, he only seldomly shuts up. I can now watch my bump bouncing around.

And yes, he does wake me up when he decides it’s time to boogy at 4 am.

Please Come to the 12th Annual (?) Christmas in Wilsonia Party

Who: You, our dearest friends, and your dearest friends

When: December 25, 2006 starting at 7:00 p.m.

Where: At our home; contact me if you need more detail than that

Why: This is our chance to see our chosen family, detox, unwind, and breathe easy after what is often a crazy run-up to a meaningful yet challenging time of year.

Please Bring: Your good cheer and/or exhausted selves. Preferred beverages. Gifts if you wish to exchange them with others at the party, however, gifts are not necessary.

Love,
The Wilsons

This morning I feel fairly mixed up and adrift. I have plenty to do, so that’s not the problem. I’m sitting here asking myself, what’s up with me today? Where am I going? Why? If you asked me right now, “How are you?” I’m not sure I could answer.

I feel a list coming on …

Good Things
* I have work
* I have nibbles on future work
* I’m healthy, Lucas is healthy, Ian is hopefully getting better
* My folks are vacationing in Mexico this week
* I saw some friends this weekend (FCL, GrlFury, Kelly, Holly, and Dakini and Thaemos very briefly)
* Ian finished two classes yesterday. He has one more National class before he gets an honest to god break—the first in … 8 months, I think.
* We get two days off this week. Well, Ian and Lucas will. I’ll probably work too.
* I don’t have to go to two Thanksgiving dinners. We bailed on RoRo and Nana. (The flip side is that I feel guilty about it.)
* We have Lucas’s first parent-teacher conference tomorrow morning, which should be both interesting and enlightening.
* I listened to a wonderful service yesterday about gratitude, miracles, and grace. I must endeavor to concentrate on this stuff some more and maybe the raincloud over my head will blow away.

Bad Things
* I’m exhausted; Ian’s exhausted; Lucas is in need of some serious family time.
* Ever-present money stress
* I don’t want to move out of my office (because of baby)
* Our schedules over the next 7-8 months don’t look like they will be any easier/healthier/saner
* Nothing to do but continue to slog through it

This is what I got, but I think it’s way off.

You are The Tower

Ambition, fighting, war, courage. Destruction, danger, fall, ruin.

The Tower represents war, destruction, but also spiritual renewal. Plans are disrupted. Your views and ideas will change as a result.

The Tower is a card about war, a war between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The Tower stands for "false concepts and institutions that we take for real." You have been shaken up; blinded by a shocking revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What’s most important to remember is that the tearing down of this structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Here’s another one: I don’t have this book yet. Edit: Actually, I do have this book sitting on my shelf.

“In all our years as therapists, we have never met a boy who didn’t crave his parents’ love and others’ acceptance and who didn’t feel crippled by their absence or redeemed by their abundance. Strong and healthy boys are made strong by acceptance and affirmation of their humanity. We all have a chance to do that every day, every time we are in the presence of a boy and we have a chance to say to him, ‘I recognize you. You are a boy — full of life, full of dreams, full of feeling.’”

—Michael Thompson, Ph.D. and Dan Kindlon, Ph.D.
Co-authors, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/helpingboys.html

(a very long, quite good article)

Other Books to Investigate
Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different-And How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men
by Steve Biddulph

Oops—This next author is a fundamentalist Christian. So maybe I’ll skip these:
Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men
by James C. Dobson

The Wonderful World of Boys by James C. Dobson, John Russell

“We see parenting as a sacred responsibility. Parents are nothing less than protectors, nourishers, comforters, teachers, guides, companions, models, and sources of unconditional love and acceptance. If we are able to keep this sense of parenting as a sacred responsibility in mind, and we bring a degree of mindfulness to the process as it unfolds moment to moment, our choices as parents are much more likely to come out of an awareness of what this moment, this child—at this stage of his life—is asking from us right now, through his very being and his behavior. In rising to this challenge, we may not only come to do what is best for our children; we may also uncover and come to know, perhaps for the first time, what is deepest and best in ourselves.

“Mindful parenting calls us to acknowledge and name the challenges we face daily in trying to parent with awareness. For awareness has to be inclusive. It has to include recognizing our own frustrations, insecurities, and shortcomings, our limits and limitations, even our darkest and most destructive feelings, and the ways we may feel overwhelmed or pulled apart. It challenges us to ‘work with’ these very energies consciously and systematically.”

—Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting

… And this is why it’s so hard.

My son’s musical tastes are rather eclectic. When he was two, his favorite song in the world was “Hey Ya” by OutKast. He’s also very fond of lots of happy hardcore, Raffi, Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” and “Tarzan and Jane,” “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” from The Lion King, and The White Stripes’ “Little Ghost:”

“Little Ghost” Lyrics
Little ghost, little ghost
One I’m scared of the most
Can you scare me up a little bit of love?
I’m the only one that sees you,
And I can’t do much to please you
And it’s not yet time to meet the lord above

The first woman that I met her
I did not expect a specter
When I shook her hand I really shook a glove
She looked into me so sweetly
And we left the room discreetly
No one else could know the secret of our love

Little ghost, little ghost
One I’m scared of the most
Can you scare me up a little bit of love?
I’m the only one that sees you,
And I can’t do much to please you
And it’s not yet time to meet the lord above

Every morning I awoke
And I see my little ghost
Wond’rin’ if it’s really her that’s lying there
I lean to touch her and I whisper
But not brave enough to kiss her
When I held her I was really holding air

Little ghost, little ghost
One I’m scared of the most
Can you scare me up a little bit of love?
I’m the only one that sees you,
And I can’t do much to please you
And it’s not yet time to meet the lord above

Though I try my best to keep it
There really was no secret
Must have looked like I was dancing with the wall
No one else could see this apparition
But because of my condition
I fell in love with a little ghost and that was all

Little ghost, little ghost
One I’m scared of the most
Can you scare me up a little bit of love?
I’m the only one that sees you,
And I can’t do much to please you
And it’s not yet time to meet the lord above
No, it’s not yet time to meet the lord above

But lately, Lucas has fallen in love with an album my parents bought in Australia. It’s called A Piece of Australia by a folk/country singer named Slim Dusty (I’m not kidding). The album has tracks such as “Waltzing Mathilda” and a couple of train songs, but the favorite, I think is a tune called “Wobbly Boot.” Almost all the songs on this album are drinking songs.

“Wobbly Boot” Lyrics
Slim Dusty (with Rolf Harris) – 1998

When I was a lad, I remember me Dad coming home late Friday nights
Mum’d be there, she’d give him the glare, ’cause he’d be high as a kite
He’d say, “Sorry I’m late, I had a couple with me mates and we started to sing a few songs
And the next thing you know, it was time to go and I had the wobbly boot on”

Now, me Uncle’s the same, he was never to blame when he came to our house
He’d light up the barbie, rip the top of a stubby and sit there quiet as a mouse
But later in the evenin’ when he was leavin’, even though he was wearin’ thongs
He’d say, “I’m a bit shaky, I think I got me wobbly boot on”

Oh, it’s a curse, there ain’t nothin’ worse, makes you feel like a big galoot
When you’re standin’ there, full of cheer, and somethin’ goes wrong with your boot
You feel like a fool, you try to be cool, but you know it’s no use
So you blame it on your wobbly, wobbly, blame it on your wobbly boot
Your wobbly, wobbly boot

Well, that was years ago and now I know all about these worldly things
How you gotta have some good times in your lifetime, have your little flings
But early in the mornin’, when you’re yawnin’ and you’re not feelin’ too strong
You’re wishin’ over an over you’d stayed sober and you didn’t have your wobbly boot on

BOTH:
Oh, it’s a curse, there ain’t nothin’ worse, makes you feel like a big galoot
When you’re standin’ there, full of cheer, and somethin’ goes wrong with your boot
You feel like a fool, you try to be cool, but you know it’s no use
So you blame it on your wobbly, wobbly, you blame it on your wobbly boot
Your wobbly, wobbly boot

SPOKEN:
HARRIS: Ya know, Slim, it’s a dirty job, but I reckon somebody should look into this little matter.
DUSTY: Is that right?
HARRIS: ‘Cause it seems to me the bootmakers must be usin’ wobbly leather.
It’s a flamin’ disgrace to the Aussie race, as it’s gone on for far too long.
They should make ‘em stronger, make ‘em last longer
BOTH: Then we wouldn’t have our wobbly boots on.
DUSTY: Ah yeah!

BOTH:
Oh, it’s a curse, there ain’t nothin’ worse, makes you feel like a big galoot
When you’re standin’ there, full of cheer, and somethin’ goes wrong with your boot
You feel like a fool, you try to be cool, but you know it’s no use
So you blame it on your wobbly, wobbly, you blame it on your wobbly boot
Your wobbly, wobbly boot
You blame it on your wobbly boot

When my dad takes Lucas to school on Wednesday mornings, they listen to this album on the way. One day, when parting, dad said to Lucas, “G’day, Wobbly Boots!” Now 23 kindergarten children call my dad, and sometimes Lucas, Wobbly Boots, thanks to a song about getting drunk.

Thanks, Slim!

“Becoming a parent may happen on purpose or by accident, but however it comes about, parenting itself is a calling. It calls us to recreate our world every day, to meet if freshly in every moment. Such a calling is in actuality nothing less than a rigorous spiritual discipline—a quest to realize our truest, deepest nature as a human being. The very fact that we are a parent is continually asking us to find and express what is most nourishing, most loving, most wise and caring in ourselves, to be, as much as we can, our best selves.”

—Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, from Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting

Usually, when Lucas is dropped off in the morning, he jumps into the thick of things right away. Very often Ian takes him to school. Today was a Parent Tea day, though, so I took him and stayed with him in his classroom for about a half hour. All the other parents were there, too.

Lucas proudly displayed two projects he’s been working on lately: a small, decorated gourd shaker that he confidently pulled out of a basket of 23 other gourd shakers. Sure enough, his name was written on it! He also showed me his Indian crown that he sewed from felt and beads. It has two lovely feathers in it, too—blue and red. I asked him if he made it himself and he proudly said yes, he even sewed on the beads. It was cool!

For circle time, we got to hear a few of the Indian/Thanksgiving songs (very cute!) that they’ve been learning. At first, Lucas participated with gusto, but as the circle of children danced hand-in-hand and he moved farther away from me to a position across the room, I saw him become somber and stop singing and doing the hand motions. When the teachers dismissed the parents for the day, he came to me in tears and said, “I want to stay with you!” We don’t often see displays of separation anxiety from him anymore, which is due partly to his age and partly to the exciting and fun nature of the activities he does without us. Somehow, my being with him in his classroom for a short time was enough to throw him off his normally self-assured and independent nature.

He was tearful when I passed him to his teacher and said goodbye, assuring him that I would be back at 12:30 to pick him up today. I had been kind of dreading this afternoon because he will be home and I have lots of work to do. It’s difficult to get any work done with him at home. But now, I feel happy that we’ll be able to spend the rest of the day together. My independent little guy still needs me sometimes.

“This fighter is another of Mama-san’s punk dolls. She’s quite pretty if you like girls who sword fight in spiked chokers, short skirts, and pigtails.”

And I say, who doesn’t?