Michaelmas Is Nigh

 (Art by Bernhard Hoetger, 1874–1949; photo by Jürgen Howaldt )

Michaelmas Song

Wind in the trees blows for summer’s last song,
Threshing the boughs, pelting the leaves along.
Sleepers awake, hark to the word of the wind!
Breaking old summer’s dull drowsy spell,
Show us the way,  go with thy spear before,
Forge us the future, thou Michael.

Frost of the ground at misty dawning shines bright,
Cracking the clod, lining the twigs with white.
Sleepers awake, hark to the word of the frost!
Breaking old summer’s dully drowsy spell,
Show us the way,  go with thy spear before,
Forge us the future, thou Michael.

Myriad stars shine in the frosty clear skies,
Outshining all, the meteor earthward flies,
Sleepers awake, hark to the word of the star!
Breaking old summer’s dully drowsy spell,
Show us the way,  go with thy spear before,
Forge us the future, thou Michael.

With hearts aglow men mark the changing fresh world,
When from the stars Michael’s spear is hurled.
Sleepers awake, hark to the word of the world!
Breaking old summer’s dully drowsy spell,
Show us the way,  go with thy spear before,
Forge us the future, thou Michael.

—A. C. Harwood

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(Drawing by Lucas, age 10)

It’s that time of year again. Michaelmas time. Time for me to reflect a little on courage, on challenges, and on how we face them as the days grow shorter and the nights cooler. This is an election year, so a fair amount of courage is required to keep our heads up, our hearts strong, and our minds clear while we try to sort truth from fiction, lies, and mendacity.

I’ve lived in this Michaelmas mindset for several months now because my friend Eileen and I were writing a book on the topic. I thought I might have said everything I have to say on the subject of Michaelmas. I’ve flirted with metaphorical dragons while finding ways to creatively express the mood of the season and how to explore it with children. In the back of my mind, my real dragons have waited. In the forefront of my mind, they have called me out on the carpet more times than I care to admit.

If they can call me out, then it’s only fair that I call them out. Naming them has always been therapeutic for me.

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Fear

“Who do you think you are?” Do you ever hear this in your mind late at night when the rest of your family is asleep? I do. Another thing I hear is “It will never work,” and “Everyone else does this better than you.” Honestly, I think we face our fears every single day, not just at Michaelmas time. We face fear of rejection, scorn, and exclusion whenever we live out loud and express ourselves, when we make art, when we love whom we love, when we parent in a way that is contrary to how we were raised, when we bravely head for a steady job we dislike, or when we sit down to figure out a problem. We face our fears when we say, “No, no farther,” or when we say, “Yes, you can count on me to help.” We stand up to fear especially when we speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. That’s when we experience the courage of the Archangel Michael.

Boredom

This dragon interests me a lot because I ask myself, “How can you possibly be bored?” The truth is I’m not bored, but I do crave newness. I crave novel experiences and new projects, new people and new adventures. One of the benefits of the life I’ve created with my family is that it is comfortable and safe, happy and healthy. We have a good rhythm for our family and our children thrive in it. The Boredom Dragon would sit there and tell me I should be doing something else, presumably something more exciting. I have no desire to trade my happy life for anything, so I beat back this pest with small personal and professional challenges whenever I can, like trying to learn something altogether new or adopting a new hobby or making a new friend.

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Ill Health

I’ve watched from various distances while several people I care about encountered some pretty serious ill health this year. Some are elders and their problems aren’t unexpected. Some are people in their prime of life, and I’m left thinking this is just not fair. There is a strange negotiation that goes into encountering illness and injury, a series of confrontations and compromises. I stand and witness without judgement. I admire the way they have faced their problems head-on, learning all the information they can, taking steps to mitigate symptoms and care for themselves and the people they love. I’ve watched as they reprioritize and embrace their new paradigms, while ditching those old patterns that no longer apply. It’s another kind of growing up.

Wanting and Lack

This dragon is a familiar companion and a master deceiver. It tells a tale that worms into the heart and I must ferret it out. We confront a significant challenge in our choice of private school education, and this dragon wakes up and rumbles at us at least once a month at bill-paying time. However, I have only to look around me and see abundant evidence that I am surrounded by love and beauty, friendship and plenty, opportunity and understanding. My life is blessed in a million ways and I know it, and so this dragon is ridiculous in its falsehood. The Lack Dragon is a seducer and a liar. There is enough. I am enough. I do not want for anything. And everything will be OK.

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Loss and Death

This is almost too painful to write, but I and my friends and family have experienced all too much of this dragon this year. Our tribe lost two beloved souls this year, one elder and one tiny child. My mother lost her best friend. None of these stories are my stories and I don’t feel I have the right to tell them. I can only say I’ve cried many tears of heartbreak and loss. Many tears of helplessness and sympathy and wishing things were different. I’ve also watched our community gather to witness, to greet reality in the light of day, and to say farewell. We’ve sent our love into the ether and into each other’s hearts. We put one foot in front of the other, day after day, and we do not forget.

I have referred to this year as the Year of the Big and Scary—and for good reasons. Ultimately, all I can conclude from this year’s many lessons is that courage is born out of love. Darkness is best faced with our beloveds at our sides and at our backs. And, as I wrote in our book,

“Michaelmas is also a community celebration, in which we are reminded that we succeed when we work together to overcome hunger, want, and disease, and the less visible dangers of loneliness and fear. It is our chance to come together on the good, green earth and declare to one another: We are alive. We are together. Together we are strong. Together and with pure hearts, we can overcome.

 

5 Responses to “Michaelmas Is Nigh”

  • Marcy
    September 26, 2012 at 3:43 am

    Beautiful! Poetic! Everything you shared resonates with me so deeply. I, too, have been shedding light on my dragons; as newness unfolds I’m finding its better to call a spade a spade rather than sweep them under the rug. Your words, and courage for putting pen to paper is inspiring! Thank you, Sara, for sharing what you have to offer with us!! Cheers, for continued blessings this Michaelmas season.

    Reply

    • Sara
      September 27, 2012 at 9:22 am

      Thank you, Marcy, for your kind words. One of the things my Fear Dragon tells me is that I’m being melodramatic and I should not write at all. Thank you for the encouragement.

      There’s always so much change during the fall, I find. Year after year, I observe a massive shifting in people’s lives, including my own. It takes a lot of courage to get through it. Good luck with your new adventures! xo

      Reply

  • Jamie Sweeney
    September 26, 2012 at 11:33 am

    How many of those dragons have chased me over the last several years. Most recently the loss of a very dear friend and coming to terms with the fact she will no longer be in my life but always in my heart and soul. With the braking of my ribs there are many dragons that haunt my every waking moment and I do battle mostly with the dragon of boredom. Your words are ensightful, I don’t know if Janise has told you mine and my husbands story if not ask her sometime. The dragon of loss is my constant companion at times but reading your post has given me hope to fight on and accept and triump. Mourning has its place but the living must go on living and that is true of death or just the loss of a support system that you thought was true only to find out that when bad things happen some people run out of fear, out of not knowing what to say and from the uncomfortableness that comes when someone in your life becomes disabled and you no longer see them with the same eyes even though inside they are themselfs, trapped and helpless, needing you more than they did before and feeling such loss an betrayal at losing a friend . But loss also brings blessings, new friends and new visions. Unfortunately my muse also deserted us with Johns disability and books sit waiting to be completed for publication and crafts and such sit waiting to be finished. I hope you don’t mind my posts, I feel I was brought to your site to explore, learn and possibly heal. Thank you for having me as a visitor.

    Reply

    • Sara
      September 27, 2012 at 9:30 am

      Thank you, Jamie. You certainly have a lot of challenges on your plate! I’m very sorry for the loss of your friend, and for the great difficulties of disability and injury that you are facing. Those are big battles, and I know that discouragement and pain can make accomplishing even the simplest tasks so hard. I guess you keep on living, fight when you are strong enough and brave enough, and when you are not, forgive yourself and rest. I think you are right, loss does bring some blessings even though it may be hard to see that for a time. I guess the Buddhists would say there is no loss, only change. xo

      Reply

  • Liz
    September 16, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    I’m so glad you linked to this, Sara. This year, coming down the Wheel into fall, is gentler on my life than other Michaelmas seasons have been… But I’ve had to acknowledge, finally, that I’m shedding my Schoolteacher skin, for the foreseeable future… And I invested so much in that identity, so much time and money and effort and struggle…
    And all of the dragons you’ve listed have visited, recently and frequently, now that I am exploring a new skin as Maker.
    It helps me to revisit the Michaelmas Mood which you have touched on here, to remember the supportive Waldorf community of my teacher training program is still there, if I just reach out.
    And chosen family talking through their own struggles helps as well.
    Thank you for being willing to share so publicly. It takes a special kind of warrior-strength to go through the world openheartedly, you have that. I admire that quality in you, and strive for that in my own life.
    Te beso,
    Liz

    Reply

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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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