My weekend getaway with Ian was wonderful! It was so lovely to decompress and relax and play together. We used to do that sort of thing all the time, and I’m relieved to know now that it’s still possible. A small part of my mind had been wondering if we could still manage to have fun together.

We spent Saturday roaming State Street in Santa Barbara on foot. It’s such a beautiful town and I was kind of amazed at how little I recognized it. I guess when I left UCSB in 1992, I put Santa Barbara out of my mind. Upon reflection, I don’t think I gave the place enough of a chance back then. I was too busy falling in love with Ian and my new friends in Sacramento at the time. And feeling isolated, lonely, and homesick colored my experience of Santa Barbara significantly. Events in my first year at college sort of pushed me out of the thick of campus life; I became quite private and isolated, choosing to focus on studying hard and getting the hell out of there anytime an opportunity to see Ian came about, rather than participating in UCSB clubs or pursuing new friendships. I have some regret about that.

Anyway, let’s just say I saw the city with fresh eyes on this little trip. We wandered through shops, had yummy meals, including sushi and the most amazing fusilli pasta with chicken in creamy garlic sauce. We bought gifts for our kids and a couple of Christmas presents for family—the first of the season. We also spent a delicious hour or so sitting on the sunny beach and watching the sailboats bob in the harbor and the flocks of seagulls, pelicans, and others soaring overhead. We watched three young boys run at the birds’ resting place, and hundreds of birds startled into the air to get away from the boys.

I kind of wish I had taken my camera out on Saturday, but I left it in the hotel room. Instead of snapping shots, we just relaxed and walked, talked and wandered. Naturally, we talked about Lucas and Asher a little. We just couldn’t get them out of our heads completely, and Ian was really missing them since he had left town on Wednesday.

We even read our books, sitting together in companionable silence, hearing only the tiny click of my Kindle’s “page turning.”

On Sunday we had breakfast at reliable old IHOP, and hit the road. We stopped at Solvang, a quaint “Danish”-style town just north of Santa Barbara in the Santa Ynez Valley. I had never been there before, despite having driven past it many times. We did take a few pictures there, during our two-hour exploration.

Solvang, California

We spent a good half-hour in the Village Spinning & Weaving shop in Solvang, talking with the proprietor about felting, weaving, looms, etc. I bought some goodies for myself, including some new wool roving and a super-long shuttle for my rug project. (I WILL finish it someday, and this new 28-inch shuttle will make it easier.)



We bought a fancy ceramic peeler and some yummy chocolates for my dad and mom, as a thank you gift for taking care of our boys for the weekend.

We marveled at all the wine bars and tasting rooms Solvang has and thought it would be great fun to return and spend the weekend there, walking from tasting room to tasting room—all on foot, which is how wine-tasting ought to be, I think!


And then we drove home … and drove, and drove, and drove. It was nice being together those seven hours, even if we were in the car all that time. We listened to music; I knitted. There is so much open land in California, and it’s beautiful.



By the time we got to Stockton, an hour from home, I was really ready to see my kids again. They gave us the WARMEST, MOST WONDERFUL WELCOME HOME. They showered us with hugs and kisses and wrestled us to the ground for more. It was awesome.

My conclusions are all good:

1. I’m fonder of my husband now than ever before, and know that the reason I get lonely and frustrated sometimes is simply because he is my dearest friend and I want him near me; sometimes I do not want to share him with my children.

2. My kids can handle our taking a weekend to ourselves. They had a terrific time with Grandma and Papa, complete with pizza, ice-cream, Fairytale Town, and Funderland rides. It’s a little stressful for them, but they can do it.

3. I’m fonder of my kids, too. I’m able to see Lucas and Asher anew, thanks to having the time to refresh myself and my marriage. They are fabulous children and I’m grateful to have them.

4. We are SO doing this again!

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2 Responses to “Fonder”

  • Jennifer Luna
    September 15, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    What a great story! I hope you get the chance to have more romantic getaways.


    • Sara
      September 16, 2009 at 8:25 pm

      Thanks, Jen. Me too!


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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I'm Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

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    "Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new." —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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