A Comedy of Errors
We’re finishing eating lunch.
Asher clearly has to poop.
He is covered in pesto sauce: oily and dotted with bits of basil leaves.
I clean him up, but just barely.
I rush him to the potty.
We’re in time.
He does his thing.
From the backyard, we hear screams of agony.
It’s Lucas and he’s hurt himself.
I leave Asher on the potty and run outside to Lucas.
He is crying and limping.
He is dressed as a cowboy.
He tripped over a garden hose and fell and hurt his knee.
I pull up his pant leg to survey the damage.
No biggie: no blood.
I tell Lucas that we’ll get the booboo bag (ice-pack thingy).
I hear another scream and crying.
I rush back to Asher.
He has crawled off the potty toward the bed.
He is wedged between my bed and his co-sleeper.
His bare bottom is hanging down and he's grasping onto the edge of the bed.
The potty is upturned.
I pick up the baby and place him on the changing table pad.
I look over at the co-sleeper.
It has Asher poops all over it.
I clean Asher’s bottom, dress him, and put him down on the floor.
He is fine now.
I clean the co-sleeper.
I clean the potty.
I clean my hands.
I clean up lunch.
I ask Lucas how his knee is now.
He says it is all healed.
I scrub the poop off Asher’s talking teddy bear.
I clean my hands again.
I sit down at the computer to write this.
Asher is chewing on the cord.
Cowboy Lucas is being eaten by a 5-foot-long boa constrictor.
It is a perfectly normal afternoon.
The End.
January 14, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Hi-freakin-larious.
January 14, 2008 at 5:46 pm
this made me laugh out loud. 🙂
It’s funny how time goes fine fine fine fine UTTER CHAOS FOR FIVE MINUTES fine fine fine fine.
January 14, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Owies, poo and cowboys wrestling boa constrictors – you have a charmed life……… *muah*
January 14, 2008 at 6:58 pm
LOL! What a wonderful description. Thanks for giving me a preview of coming attractions. Except that I only have one. And she’s a girl. 😉