Important Note to Self
Do not eat onion rings, even if the opportunity comes up and you quickly flash on being roughly six years old and eating onion rings at A&W with your dad, who also ordered you a chocolate milkshake and then patiently listened to every word you said, no matter that he might have been tired or bored or stressed or whatever. He was there. With you. Showing all his love.
Put plainly, no onion rings in the world will ever be that good again. Ever.
And they will make your tummy hurt and you will have bad food dreams at night about eating junk.
