Sure! I can do that. (I think …)
In my work I am finding myself saying yes a lot lately. This is a good thing on many levels: It’s good for my pocketbook, good for my reputation, good for my clients, good experience, good opportunities to learn new things and grow my skills, and theoretically it’s good for my own sense of satisfaction and confidence levels. Right?
So how come I privately feel so inadequate? I’m saying yes and nervously fretting about whether I’ll actually be able to pull it off. I know, sticking my neck out is essential for growth to occur. As a freelancer who works alone, I’m not sure if I have more or fewer opportunities to impress people and learn new skills. Perhaps more, if I continue to say yes. It’s not exactly like I have a prescribed job description. I take on the jobs I want (or in lean times, whatever I can get). Every job is different. Every client is different and has different expectations of me. This is a source of steady, low-grade anxiety for me, and it means I have to learn in a vacuum by myself, but it’s also an opportunity. AFOFG.
There are times when I CRAVE security, crave the feeling of knowing exactly what I’m doing (which partly explains why I continue to edit strategy guides). I suppose this insecurity is just a part of being a self-employed business owner. There are no clear maps to follow. So I suppose there are no real limits.
P.S. I hate it when my angst aligns with my zodiac sign.
July 19, 2009 at 12:31 pm
*muah*
You are brilliant! I’m so happy you have these problems – they are good ones. I wish I was in the cubicle next to you so we could go out to lunch and I could say exactly the right things to quiet those little harpies in your brain. If that were the case you would also see how good your work is compared to the rest of the cube rats! Love you.
July 19, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Make no mistake, most everyone feels that way. Especially if they are living, growing, learning and challenging themselves. I cannot describe the terror I have experienced on three different occasions in this job, looking at a mountain of straw asking “you want me to spin that into WHAT?”