Turning Over

With the change of seasons, it’s time to move the warm-weather clothing aside to make way in drawers and closets for cold-weather clothing. I spent a couple of hours yesterday doing just that with Asher’s things.

This might be a rather tedious task to perform several times a year, except it makes me feel connected to moms and families all over the world whenever I do it. It doesn’t even matter what hemisphere you’re in. Chances are, if you have kids, you also are busy buying, making, sorting, evaluating, mending, packing, and unpacking belongings for your children because they’re always growing.

Will this fit next summer? Is this shirt still nice enough to save for the baby? Who has a child the right age to get more use out of these boots? Do these pants go into the donation box? These questions are being asked everywhere.

I pulled lots of 18 to 24 month clothes out of Asher’s dresser and filled a big shopping bag and a box full of clothing we no longer need. Some pieces are handmade by Grandma Sydney, including little matching Hawaiian shirts and shorts sets. I’m very happy I know a little boy who will grow into these things soon enough. It feels good to pass them on to dear friends.

We are rather lucky in that we have a mountain of things in our garage waiting patiently for Asher to grow into them. I pulled out the 3T box yesterday and pawed through it. The pants are all too big still, but many of the shirts will be useful this winter and beyond. It was a little like shopping for new things—kind of exciting in that way. But it was more like rediscovering old friends. I sometimes remember who gave the item to Lucas, or who made it for him, or where we were when we bought it. Even some of the stains are familiar. As I pulled out items from the box that was nearly as tall as Lucas is, memories of younger Lucas flooded my mind. It was bittersweet.

Ian has occasionally chafed at the amount of space all this STUFF takes up in his garage. But I know he’s happy to be saving the money because we don’t have to outfit our toddler from scratch. I’m so grateful to have the hand-me-downs, to use them again for Asher. I really like that these clothes get an extended life. What about the things that don’t yet fit? They go back into the garage to wait a bit longer.

Asher’s Store

Asher in his store

Welcome to Asher’s Store. He has lots of merchandise, but also something of an inventory problem.

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He uses his “computer” to work all the time. “Don’t touch my stuff!” he tells us one minute. The next, he says “Come buy something in my store and pay me money.”  Because of the computer he is able to take credit cards.

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He carries a wide selection of tools and books, and random gizmos of all sorts. Some items cost 36 cents. Others cost “40-85-shs dollars.”

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“Sit down and pay me money.”

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It’s good that he has the latest in price scanners. It makes his service so excellent. You can bet I’m a repeat customer.

Infected

The virus that has plagued and obsessed my mother for the last … um … 20 years seems finally to have infected me. I spent my “break” moments today surfing the Internet for fabric. Yeah. One hundred percent cotton fabric. I shopped on Etsy and it was fun. I fell in love with designers David Walker and Michael Miller.

Here is Michael Miller’s “Sprockets.”

Sprockets

I have a small stash on the way to me!

House School and a Changing Time

“House School” is the delight of the moment. I gather from chatting with another second-grade dad, that it’s not just Lucas’s new play routine. Sounds like lots of second graders are playing school at home, teaching lessons, leading circle time, and saying verses. It manifested for us at home just three days ago. Ian and Asher were the first pupils to attend “House School,” as it’s known here. They had so much fun and raved about it. Lucas was thrilled to have found a game that the whole family could play—especially given that he gets to be in charge of it!

Last night I got to participate in House School a little, sitting in on a drawing lesson with my three boys. Lucas had cut out paper dragon shapes and we all got to color our dragons. I thought it was beautifully fitting for the feast day of St. Michael, which Wikipedia told me is traditionally held on September 29. Our four colorful dragons now adorn our Nature Table.

Something about this time of year has me feeling pulled in two directions in time. I’m wistful about our lazy summer evenings, which featured walks through our neighborhood, slow outdoor dinners with friends (regardless of the day of the week), sleeping until the sunlight streamed boldly through our bedroom window. I’m also feeling wistful about the little people I used to live with: Lucas as a younger boy, Asher as a baby.

At the same time, I’m eagerly looking forward to the joys of the autumn season: a trip to Apple Hill, the school Harvest Faire, our Thanksgiving Away (which hopefully will happen in November). I’m looking forward to some changes that will hopefully make us happier. The boys are growing and their capacity to adapt is greater. We’re thinking about moving them into the same bedroom together later this fall for several reasons: to promote their bonding, to bring their sleeping schedules into alignment with each other, to allow Asher to detach a little more from his nighttime dependence on us, and to allow me to set up shop in Lucas’s bedroom. I long for an office with a door again!

I also have lots of groovy, creative projects in mind, and keep envisioning more. I went to a craft night last night with other school parents and we sat around crafting, drinking wine, and chatting and it was lots of fun. These people are seriously creative! I worked on needle-felting mice for the Children’s Store at the Harvest Fair. I’m hoping to try my hand a soap-making soon, and I’ve been looking forward to taking a drop spinning class with a local teacher/Waldorf mama extraordinaire: Jennifer Tan of Syrendell.

I picked up a new editing project yesterday. You really never know where work is going to come from! This one came to me via my godmother and looks like it will be low-key, with a relaxed pace. It’s time to try lining up some winter projects. I’m pretty well booked through November-December. Staying on top of the marketing is always challenging and yet always worthwhile. I would like to add some new clients into the fold; some new regulars would be lovely.

Back-to-School Adventures

There dims in damp autumnal air

The senses’ luring magic;

The light’s revealing radiance

Is dulled by hazy veils of mist.

In distances around me I can see

The autumn’s winter sleep;

The summer’s life has yielded

Itself into my keeping.

—Rudolf Steiner (verse for the week of September 8–14)

It’s been a busy, busy week full of adjustments for everyone. Lucas went back to school on Tuesday. There was much rejoicing by his proud parents. He looked ready,  brave, and determined.

Lucas and Asher on the first day of school.

Lucas and Asher on the first day of school.

Honestly, I’m so excited for him. This year is going to be wonderful, full of friends, new confidence, Saints and fables to inspire us, as well as dragons to conquer.

Right before entering the second-grade classroom.

Right before entering the second-grade classroom.

We have had some struggles this week. Daddy had to go out of town for a conference on Wednesday morning, and we are emotionally at sea without our anchor. We are used to our days without Daddy, but when evening sneaks in we all look around at each other and miss him terribly. Asher has had a much harder than usual time at Ring-A-Rosies preschool and had to be picked up early two days. He is adjusting to Lucas being gone at school and Daddy not coming home at night, and he’s quite sure the scenario stinks. “I miss my daddy. I want my brother!”

As if to emphasize that change is in the air, Lucas’s top right incisor leaned sooooooo far out of his mouth that Lucas couldn’t help himself; he simply pried it out. And so, my 7-and-1/4-year-old son now has a giant window in his smile, and an adult tooth moving in fast.

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See how delighted he is?

Look at the size of that gap!

Look at the size of that gap!

As you can see, he is quite thrilled about the change and told me all about how he pushed the tooth back until it just popped out “… and there was this dangly gut thingy hanging there!”

We got to use the Tooth Fairy Pillow I made him for the third time, and this morning a $2 bill was sticking out of the pocket.

We all have big plans for the weekend: I’m flying down to Santa Barbara tonight for my first vacation alone with my husband in three years. I went to college in Santa Barbara for two years, and I haven’t been there since 1992. Ian and I courted there, so I’m thinking of this trip as a little honeymoon that we desperately need.

The boys will be going to my parents’ house, who will undoubtedly spoil them and feed them ice-cream sandwiches and sausages and pizza and all their favorite things. I can tell Lucas and Asher are anxious (as evidenced by the tantrums and invented neck aches and “too warm” foreheads), and possibly this isn’t the best weekend for me to leave them, after such an eventful week. And I’m tempted to feel tremendously guilty about it.

Nevertheless, I’m carrying on in the belief that a happy, rested mama, who has had the chance to have fun, reconnect with her husband, and recharge her marriage, will be a better mother for them in the long run.

And they will be fine.

Summer Scene: Digging Superheroes

Backyard superheroes dig

Wake up, don your superhero cape over your pajamas, and go outside to dig.

Summer, Month Three

It is now the end of Week 12 of summer vacation. Week 12. Twelve. Did you hear me? TWELVE.

One more week (and a long weekend) to go.

I think, all in all, I’m in better shape than I was this time last year. This time last year I was ready to throw myself under a bus. Seriously. It wasn’t pretty.

During this circle around the sun, we have had a good summer, a busy summer, and one with more balance. Together we have had

·         evening walks

·         feasts of summer fruits

·         barbecues

·         creek play

·         rambling in the woods

·         swimming in lakes, rivers, and backyard pools

·         a trip to San Francisco and Oakland

·         a zoo visit

·         museum visits

·         glorious day-long brunches with friends at home

I’ve had plenty work to keep me occupied; it keeps my brain from turning to mush and eases my career worries.

Lucas and Asher have been occupied more this summer, too. I adore my children and think they are brilliant and fascinating (see this blog for evidence), but I know that we all benefit from having experiences away from one another. I don’t claim to have achieved balance in parenting/work, but it is definitely a major goal. Something I continue to strive for.

Asher has made friends and looks forward to playing with his kids now at Ring-A-Rosies preschool. He has even made it through a handful of full days, when I didn’t pick him up until 4 p.m. due to serious deadlines, and he napped pretty well on a little mat like the other kids.

Lucas has had a bunch of wonderful experiences with summer day camps and other activities (like pottery and soccer). Some weren’t so great (mainly the Fair Oaks Recreation and Park District day camp due to the “Thriller” incident) and we probably won’t be trying those again. But others were awesome. He is hoping to do more of the Science Adventures camps and Aquatics camps next year. The Effie Yeaw nature camps, though only a half-day, are lots of fun and Lucas feels really comfortable there. Plus he gets to hike the trails in the American River Parkway. He has done some amazing art projects that I wouldn’t have even considered doing with him because they are outside my experience. I wish that the less expensive camps had worked out to be winners; naturally it was the more expensive camps that Lucas really took to.

Lucas holding Luke Bugwalker Closeup of Luke Bugwalker.

 

Next week, there is no day care. I’ll have to beg, borrow, and steal moments in which to work, when others can run herd on my little darlings. Grandma? Grandma?

I just can’t help but feel, now that kids all over town are back in school, that perhaps 13 weeks off during the summer might be a little excessive. It is very intense living with a choleric 7-year-old and a 2-and-a-half-year-old toddler!

Especially if one is just the tiniest, wee bit choleric, oneself.

Bay Area Trip: Part 2

I’ll continue our story of our weekend in the Bay Area. This one is shorter, I promise.

We woke on Sunday at Blue and Headra’s new apartment and enjoyed a relaxing morning. We ate some leftover Indian food from the night before; the kids noshed on the cereal and soy milk we brought with us. (We Wilsons always travel with breakfast!) Then we said our goodbyes and fervent thank yous to our gracious hosts and packed into our car to head to our destination: The Oakland Zoo.

Objective: See real, live elephants.
Objective: Visit with Danny, Ian’s ex-step brother, whom we don’t get to see very often.


The Oakland Zoo is really quite lovely. The animals have big, luxurious enclosures, which you might not see so well in my photos. The bigger animals were plains animals like elephants, zebras, and giraffes and their enclosures had a lot of dirt. Other creatures enjoyed trees for swinging in, grass, places to lounge and hide. Those were harder to capture with my Canon; I didn’t have my zoom with me. The whole zoo is hilly and beautifully landscaped, with flowers everywhere.


We rode a ski lift-like sky tram over several animal enclosures, including the lions’ and the tigers’ areas. There’s nothing quite like dangling one’s feet 30 feet over giant carnivores. It was cool to see them from that perspective because there was no fencing or anything to obscure the view. Asher and I rode on a lift together and I nervously kept my arm around him the whole time.


After lunch Asher had a private moment, wandering around. Lucas posed for me on this giant frog. I love that I caught him being candid. This beautiful smile is something of a rarity these days.


Here’s Danny in front of the elephant area. Just when I was getting used to calling him Dan, he told us that he’s changed his mind and actually prefers Danny. OK. No problem! Danny happens to live just a few blocks from this great zoo. Our coming into town gave him a great excuse to hang out with us there for an afternoon.


We saw four elephants. I think there might be others in the herd, but only four were in view. I’d like to think that the animals have a backstage where they can unwind, let their hair down, and … have a beer?

We rounded out the day with a ride on the little zoo train. Asher was thrilled. Lucas couldn’t be bothered to get excited about the ride, which is funny to me because for four solid years nothing was more important to him than trains! Ah well. I guess we all outgrow our childhood obsessions eventually.

And last but not least, here is a great shot of Danny and Ian and Kellie at the Sacramento Zoo circa 1979.


It was a wonderful weekend of friends and fun! I’m so glad we were able to take this trip!

Bay Area Trip: Part 1

[Second time is a charm? I wrote this post once already a week or so ago, but LJ ate it. I was so bummed I couldn’t recreate it until now.]

The weekend of July 24–26, we went to visit our friends, Blue and Headra, in San Raphael. The plan was to pack as much Bay Area fun into one weekend as possible. We were so grateful to have a great place to stay and to spend all of Saturday with them, seeing some superb sights.

We woke early on Saturday to get to the California Academy of Sciences when it opened. The new building is terrific! (There is a great Flickr group if you want to see more pictures.) We did just about everything perfectly, except we didn’t get in to see a planetarium show. But that’s OK because I’m not sure my kids could have sat through it.

The Rainforest exhibit was awesome. We saw lots of butterflies and birds and even some tiny tropical frogs. Patrons walk up a spiraling ramp on the inside of the exhibit sphere. The air is humid and hot. Butterflies flutter around and you gradually ascend through the jungle canopy. Asher found some lantana, which is beloved by butterflies.

 

The African Hall is very similar to the old Academy, except they’ve added terrariums of live lizards and other reptiles. At one end is a giant tank enclosure full of live African penguins, who are active and funny. It was pretty crowded there, so I didn’t take any good pictures.

 
Lucas was really interested in a lot of things, especially the fish of the Steinhart Aquarium. Blue and Headra were perfectly wonderful, and so helpful with our children. Lucas adores Blue. It was nice having two more pairs of eyes on them in a crowded public place, especially considering that Asher really doesn’t want to ride in the stroller anymore.


While we were waiting briefly to get into the Rainforest sphere, we saw the top of the Reef tank.

 
The giant T-Rex skeleton was pretty great. I thought there would be more dinosaur fossils, but I was wrong. It makes me really want to take the kids to La Brea Tar Pits someday soon. This albino alligator has been there for years! I guess they live a long time.

 
Pharaoh was carried up onto the Living Roof by his bearers. We took some kissy photos up there and surveyed Golden Gate Park. The Living Roof is really beautiful (and it made me want to come home and landscape the roof of my house). It reminded me a lot of the dome where the Teletubbies live.
 
We even cruised through the gift shop and bought a few souvenirs. Just as we were leaving the building for good, having seen everything we came to see, the fire alarm went off and the museum staff announced over the PA that all visitors had to evacuate the Academy. We were SOOOOO relieved not to have to wade through the sea of people trying to exit safely! Instead of that dealing with that nightmare, we walked through Golden Gate Park, enjoyed some beautiful scenery, observed a little of the Hare Krishna Festival of the Chariots, rode the carousel, snacked, and played in the Children’s Park.
 
After that, we meandered over to the De Young Museum to the King Tut exhibit. We had 4:00 p.m. tix and it dovetailed perfectly with our other adventures for the day. Asher was hilarious in the darkened, hushed galleries. Many of the visitors were listening to their audio guides and not talking, but exhuberant Asher spoke at the top of his voice, “There’s King Tut, Daddy! King Tut!” and “That’s a bird! That’s a boat! That’s a cow—MOOOOOOOOO!”

It was really remarkable how well our boys held up during this busy day. They were well behaved and good sports the whole time. We had a tiny tantrum from Asher near the end, when he was tired. But he rallied beautifully when we went to  ‘s place to visit and have dinner with her and Andrew and

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Ian and I had so much fun with our kids and friends. I look forward to more adventures like this as Lucas and Asher grow! It’s so good to feast my eyes on new things, gorgeous places, and kind friends!

Half Birthday

Dear Asher,

You are now two and a half years old! Somehow, this fact is stunning to me. Where did the last six months go? Well, let’s see …

You have learned to talk! To sing! To fight with your brother!

I gave up trying to write down all of your words several months ago. The floodgates of language opened up and I and my notepad were swept downstream in the river of your many expressions. It’s so exciting, hearing you communicate, perhaps most when you tell us firmly and in no uncertain terms that you are not happy with what’s going on, or tell us exactly what you want: “No Mama! Baby wants more chocolate ice cream! You’re in trouble, Mama!” I respect the way you stand up for yourself. I laugh a little, of course, but I respect it.

You mostly maintain a sunny disposition. You’re always game to jump in the car and go “bye-bye.” You like visiting people, especially your grandparents. You don’t even really mind it when I drag you out in the heat of the day to pick up your brother. Your laughter is contagious and nobody can resist your goofy grins. I worry about your dad because you seem to have him wrapped around your little finger. He would lasso the moon for you if you asked him.

This morning, before breakfast, you and Lucas began playing a new game. Our new sofa was instantly transformed into a spaceship. Lucas was piloting the ship and you were both navigator and gunner. You are so cute and funny when you follow your big brother’s lead. I see you watching him, striving to repeat his exact words and facial expressions. I know he is teaching you every day because I see Lucas in some of your behavior.

I don’t really like seeing you running around the house shooting monsters with imaginary guns (or pieces of toast), or sword fighting with any sticklike thing you can find, or chattering on and on about Pokémon creatures, but you are hard-wired to do it. I worry sometimes that you are learning things that are too sophisticated for your age, and that you are too attracted to big-boy things and games when you are still only a little boy. But I cannot stop it. It’s the way of older siblings to initiate younger siblings. I must try to remember to cherish every moment you are little because I think you will fight your way out of babyhood and into the world as fast as possible to keep up with Lucas.

Swimming has become one of your great loves this summer. At first, you were skittish and only wanted to put your toes in the water on the swimming pool step. Soon, though, you were leaping into my arms to be carried around the pool. You avidly practice your kicks now and don’t mind if you get a little water on your face. You’re jumping off the side of the pool to me now, but you don’t like it if I move too far away. As in all things, you enjoy telling me where in the pool to take you by pointing imperiously. “Where do you want to go?” I ask. “RIGHT THERE!”

I’m embarrassed to say it: You’re really into TV—of any kind. In the evenings when I am putting Lucas down for the night, you’re in with daddy watching shows. You have an impressive working knowledge of classic “Star Trek” and new “Dr. Who.”  I’ve tried shifting the routine, but you and your dad are both resisting, I think in part because daddy likes sharing these relaxing evening moments with you. He likes having a Star Trek buddy who joyfully exclaims “There’s Mr. Spock! There’s Captain Kirk!” when they come onscreen. Lucas really doesn’t care for any of the shows daddy likes.

And speaking of likes, we are presently witnessing the birth of the train and Thomas the Tank Engine obsession. I don’t really know if you will love them as much as Lucas did—or for as long—but they have definitely caught your eye. Now you pretend to be a train, choosing to be Gordon and saying “I’m a train. I’m Gordon. I puff away.” You scuff your little feet, preferably in dirt or dust, to make little clouds lift after you. We were recently near a baseball diamond in a park to watch Lucas play soccer on a nearby field and you refused to leave the hard-packed dirt of the diamond. There were terrific white chalk lines for tracks and the “smoke” you kicked up satisfied you much more than listening to a bunch of parents yell encouraging things to mini soccer players. You clutch the wooden toy trains and carry them around; so far you cannot be bothered to place them on the tracks. Lucas recently replaced his old porcelain Thomas bank because he outgrew it. You want to play with that big Thomas soooooo bad!

Meat is still your favorite food, followed closely by Strauss vanilla yogurt. You have recently tried noodles, which you call “noonoos.” I’m happy to see you eating some things of plant origins: carrots, sweet mini bell peppers, watermelon, and rarely, broccoli. I am grateful that you are going to preschool because I think your friends are helping you warm up to trying new foods. You like crackers, quesadillas, sautéed chicken, meatballs, tacos, hot dogs, rice, “chewy bars,” and cheese bunnies.

And now I must share a story about the cheese bunnies. These are organic cheesy crackers shaped like bounding bunnies. About a week ago, you crammed so many bunnies into your mouth—as is your habit when eating anything—that you choked. I was by my computer when you came toward me, flapping your arms and making the most alarming sound—but now that the excitement is over, I cannot remember what the sound was. Anyway, it wasn’t normal and I recognized that immediately. I hopped over the baby gate and realized you are too big for the infant-over-arm position and too small for the regular Heimlich position. I hooked you into my arm, lifted your body off the ground, and shoved my fist up into your diaphragm. You sputtered and I made three sweeps of your mouth with my finger to get all the cheesy-cracker goo out. Another moment passed and then you were coughing and crying. The first thing you said was, “Too scary!” I completely agree! Since then, we have talked a lot about taking little bites, not big bites because big bites can make you choke. Too scary, indeed.

I had hoped that you might show some interest in toileting by now, but mostly you haven’t. I think you are being encouraged at school to give the potty a shot, and we certainly urge you to try once in a while. But you really don’t want to yet and it makes you mad when we suggest it. You now wander off by yourself when you have to go “number 2” and tell us “Go away. I’m pooping,” if we come to investigate why you’ve become so quiet. OK, kid. You’re entitled to your privacy. I like that you now ask for a diaper change when you’re done, so that indicates you’re maturing and moving toward potty training.

You now know the names of most of your body parts. You enjoy telling people you have nipples, or they have nipples. “I see your booty!” you told me this morning. I asked you if you really just said what I thought you said. Yep. Then you immediately mentioned dinosaur booties. “Really BIG,” you said. And I tried not to follow your line of thought from my own naked derrière to giant dino butts.

We have taken two weekend trips this summer: one to the Bay Area and one to Strawberry, near the Lake Tahoe summit, to Mimi’s cabin. I am very happy you’re a good traveler. You adapt well to new places, and enjoy the adventure. In fact, you troop along beautifully, preferring to move under your own power rather than in the stroller or baby carrier. You try so hard to go everywhere Lucas goes, even up a mountainside, scrabbling over granite boulders! Your sweet nature seems to open doors for us. I hope this quality stays with you because I have hopes that someday we’ll be able to travel afar as a family.

I could write a lot more in this letter, like how you are fascinated with your brother’s big-boy things, like to imitate the sounds of animals, love to swing in your seat on the swing set in the backyard, would like to eat ice cream every day, prefer to draw and scribble directly on top of someone else’s writing, “work” on your “computer,” and strangely don’t seem to mind how your Play Dough is a now disgusting rusty brown color where it was once bright red, blue, and yellow. For now, though, I’ll sit back and let you bloom before my eyes.

I love you, Asher. You’re a treasure of a little boy.

Mama

  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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