Dear Playgroup Friends,

I just wanted to write a note and say thank you for making our summer so much fun! I think our summer playgroup was terrific this year. I sincerely hope you all had a good time participating. It seemed to me that our boys loved having the play dates to look forward to, and I know Lucas was thrilled to visit his friends’ homes—you know, to check out how the other guy lives. 😉

To recap, our boys …

* went swimming many times

* played with race cars

* rode horses

* drove electric cars

* jumped on trampolines

* played with Legos

* visited a park

* played badminton

* had a birthday party

* rode scooters and bikes

* dug in the dirt

* and snacked on many delicious foods!

Getting together these seven times this summer has helped us feel connected and nurtured our friendships. Lucas is ready to dive into the school year and play some more! I got to spend time with some moms and dads I didn’t know all that well yet. I’m grateful to count you all friends.

I wish I had pictures to share, but alas, when I hosted playgroup in June I was so busy with the kids and fixing them food I forgot to get out my camera.

With love and thanks,

Sara

(and Lucas, Ian, and Asher)

It is now the end of Week 12 of summer vacation. Week 12. Twelve. Did you hear me? TWELVE.

One more week (and a long weekend) to go.

I think, all in all, I’m in better shape than I was this time last year. This time last year I was ready to throw myself under a bus. Seriously. It wasn’t pretty.

During this circle around the sun, we have had a good summer, a busy summer, and one with more balance. Together we have had

·         evening walks

·         feasts of summer fruits

·         barbecues

·         creek play

·         rambling in the woods

·         swimming in lakes, rivers, and backyard pools

·         a trip to San Francisco and Oakland

·         a zoo visit

·         museum visits

·         glorious day-long brunches with friends at home

I’ve had plenty work to keep me occupied; it keeps my brain from turning to mush and eases my career worries.

Lucas and Asher have been occupied more this summer, too. I adore my children and think they are brilliant and fascinating (see this blog for evidence), but I know that we all benefit from having experiences away from one another. I don’t claim to have achieved balance in parenting/work, but it is definitely a major goal. Something I continue to strive for.

Asher has made friends and looks forward to playing with his kids now at Ring-A-Rosies preschool. He has even made it through a handful of full days, when I didn’t pick him up until 4 p.m. due to serious deadlines, and he napped pretty well on a little mat like the other kids.

Lucas has had a bunch of wonderful experiences with summer day camps and other activities (like pottery and soccer). Some weren’t so great (mainly the Fair Oaks Recreation and Park District day camp due to the “Thriller” incident) and we probably won’t be trying those again. But others were awesome. He is hoping to do more of the Science Adventures camps and Aquatics camps next year. The Effie Yeaw nature camps, though only a half-day, are lots of fun and Lucas feels really comfortable there. Plus he gets to hike the trails in the American River Parkway. He has done some amazing art projects that I wouldn’t have even considered doing with him because they are outside my experience. I wish that the less expensive camps had worked out to be winners; naturally it was the more expensive camps that Lucas really took to.

Next week, there is no day care. I’ll have to beg, borrow, and steal moments in which to work, when others can run herd on my little darlings. Grandma? Grandma?

I just can’t help but feel, now that kids all over town are back in school, that perhaps 13 weeks off during the summer might be a little excessive. It is very intense living with a choleric 7-year-old and a 2-and-a-half-year-old toddler!

Especially if one is just the tiniest, wee bit choleric, oneself.

Despite lots of working for me (12 hours) and Lucas’s case of folliculitis caused by prolonged exposure in the lake last week, we managed to have some lovely moments this weekend.

* early-morning walk by myself

* clay play

* dinner out with Papa and Grandma S for her birthday

* yummy BLT sandwiches made by Ian

* watching Asher dance and sing, “I like my Mom and Dad”

* an evening walk through the neighborhood all together

* finding our first green and brown acorns of the season on the ground

* watching nimble Lucas leaping to and fro across the drainage ditch (and hoping he wouldn’t fall)

* a quick trip to the thrift store for school clothes for Lucas: four pairs of pants (including two lined pairs) and nine shirts (both short and long-sleeved, one sweater, and a hoodie) for $50

* a quick trip to the used book store to recirculate a bunch of old books and find new ones for the whole family: five novels for me and Ian, five or six books for the kids

* playing a new game Asher invented called “shopping,” in which an old computer keyboard became his cash register, and flat Lego pieces were dollars. He’s pretty great about making change.

* a tad of reading Torpedo Juice, by Tim Dorsey and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

A couple of weeks ago on a Friday evening we packed up the lot of us and headed up the hill to Strawberry, where Mimi, Grandpa G’s charming girlfriend, has a lovely cabin. Ian would probably like it to be known it take a long, long time to pack the four of us to go anywhere, especially overnight. Still, the effort was well worth it.

Mimi is such a gracious hostess. She thinks of everything, and her mountain getaway is full of her love expressed in the tiniest of details. Antiques from her childhood summer home, a log cabin in Idaho, decorate her Forest Service cabin in Strawberry. Every object has a story. Every book on the shelf has been carefully selected to sit there, waiting for a curious visitor to page through it. Every dish in the kitchen has it’s special home and origin. Even the jam jar has a tiny silver spoon because if it didn’t, the homemade jam wouldn’t taste as good. It’s really quite astounding that Mimi has poured so much of herself into a place that is used only sometimes.

My boys had a blast digging in the dirt and exploring the woods. It really doesn’t take much to keep small boys happy—some sticks, rocks, or mud is all they really need.

(Lucas invented some kind of esoteric game with small stones. ) Add in some magical running water and it’s heaven on earth.

We spent part of Saturday day at a small lake where the Boy Scouts have a permanent camp. It’s called Cody Lake and it was lovely. We enjoyed listening to all the bells coming from the camp across the lake. A line of boys wearing funny hats hiked past our picnic spot beside the lake.

Lucas naturally dove into Lake Cody and swam, despite the chill. Daddy accompanied the little guy into the water, which was clearly exhilarating!

We dined on delicious food, as is usually the case whenever we’re with Mimi and GG. Organic produce from our CSA came up the hill with us, including some amazing tomatoes.

By far our favorite moments were spent chatting together, exploring Lucas’s “private” island, and splashing in the creek. Maggie the dog was good-natured and always patient, unless you happened to be a squirrel or a chipmunk, in which case all bets were off.

I happily finished the baby blanket I was knitting while on this trip. This year I didn’t need to bring any freelance work with me, so I just relaxed and enjoyed myself. It was so nice to be out of town and in the woods, listening to the breeze sigh through the pines.

There are more photos on my Photos page, so click over if you like wildflowers, woods, creeks, and kids.

I’ll continue our story of our weekend in the Bay Area. This one is shorter, I promise.

We woke on Sunday at Blue and Headra’s new apartment and enjoyed a relaxing morning. We ate some leftover Indian food from the night before; the kids noshed on the cereal and soy milk we brought with us. (We Wilsons always travel with breakfast!) Then we said our goodbyes and fervent thank yous to our gracious hosts and packed into our car to head to our destination: The Oakland Zoo.

Objective: See real, live elephants.
Objective: Visit with Danny, Ian’s ex-step brother, whom we don’t get to see very often.

The Oakland Zoo is really quite lovely. The animals have big, luxurious enclosures, which you might not see so well in my photos. The bigger animals were plains animals like elephants, zebras, and giraffes and their enclosures had a lot of dirt. Other creatures enjoyed trees for swinging in, grass, places to lounge and hide. Those were harder to capture with my Canon; I didn’t have my zoom with me. The whole zoo is hilly and beautifully landscaped, with flowers everywhere.

We rode a ski lift-like sky tram over several animal enclosures, including the lions’ and the tigers’ areas. There’s nothing quite like dangling one’s feet 30 feet over giant carnivores. It was cool to see them from that perspective because there was no fencing or anything to obscure the view. Asher and I rode on a lift together and I nervously kept my arm around him the whole time.

After lunch Asher had a private moment, wandering around. Lucas posed for me on this giant frog. I love that I caught him being candid. This beautiful smile is something of a rarity these days.

Here’s Danny in front of the elephant area. Just when I was getting used to calling him Dan, he told us that he’s changed his mind and actually prefers Danny. OK. No problem! Danny happens to live just a few blocks from this great zoo. Our coming into town gave him a great excuse to hang out with us there for an afternoon.

We saw four elephants. I think there might be others in the herd, but only four were in view. I’d like to think that the animals have a backstage where they can unwind, let their hair down, and … have a beer?

We rounded out the day with a ride on the little zoo train. Asher was thrilled. Lucas couldn’t be bothered to get excited about the ride, which is funny to me because for four solid years nothing was more important to him than trains! Ah well. I guess we all outgrow our childhood obsessions eventually.

And last but not least, here is a great shot of Danny and Ian and Kellie at the Sacramento Zoo circa 1979.

It was a wonderful weekend of friends and fun! I’m so glad we were able to take this trip!

[Second time is a charm? I wrote this post once already a week or so ago, but LJ ate it. I was so bummed I couldn’t recreate it until now.]

The weekend of July 24–26, we went to visit our friends, Blue and Headra, in San Raphael. The plan was to pack as much Bay Area fun into one weekend as possible. We were so grateful to have a great place to stay and to spend all of Saturday with them, seeing some superb sights.

We woke early on Saturday to get to the California Academy of Sciences when it opened. The new building is terrific! (There is a great Flickr group if you want to see more pictures.) We did just about everything perfectly, except we didn’t get in to see a planetarium show. But that’s OK because I’m not sure my kids could have sat through it.

The Rainforest exhibit was awesome. We saw lots of butterflies and birds and even some tiny tropical frogs. Patrons walk up a spiraling ramp on the inside of the exhibit sphere. The air is humid and hot. Butterflies flutter around and you gradually ascend through the jungle canopy. Asher found some lantana, which is beloved by butterflies.

The African Hall is very similar to the old Academy, except they’ve added terrariums of live lizards and other reptiles. At one end is a giant tank enclosure full of live African penguins, who are active and funny. It was pretty crowded there, so I didn’t take any good pictures.

 
Lucas was really interested in a lot of things, especially the fish of the Steinhart Aquarium. Blue and Headra were perfectly wonderful, and so helpful with our children. Lucas adores Blue. It was nice having two more pairs of eyes on them in a crowded public place, especially considering that Asher really doesn’t want to ride in the stroller anymore.

While we were waiting briefly to get into the Rainforest sphere, we saw the top of the Reef tank.

 
The giant T-Rex skeleton was pretty great. I thought there would be more dinosaur fossils, but I was wrong. It makes me really want to take the kids to La Brea Tar Pits someday soon. This albino alligator has been there for years! I guess they live a long time.

 
Pharaoh was carried up onto the Living Roof by his bearers. We took some kissy photos up there and surveyed Golden Gate Park. The Living Roof is really beautiful (and it made me want to come home and landscape the roof of my house). It reminded me a lot of the dome where the Teletubbies live.
 
We even cruised through the gift shop and bought a few souvenirs. Just as we were leaving the building for good, having seen everything we came to see, the fire alarm went off and the museum staff announced over the PA that all visitors had to evacuate the Academy. We were SOOOOO relieved not to have to wade through the sea of people trying to exit safely! Instead of that dealing with that nightmare, we walked through Golden Gate Park, enjoyed some beautiful scenery, observed a little of the Hare Krishna Festival of the Chariots, rode the carousel, snacked, and played in the Children’s Park.
 
After that, we meandered over to the De Young Museum to the King Tut exhibit. We had 4:00 p.m. tix and it dovetailed perfectly with our other adventures for the day. Asher was hilarious in the darkened, hushed galleries. Many of the visitors were listening to their audio guides and not talking, but exhuberant Asher spoke at the top of his voice, “There’s King Tut, Daddy! King Tut!” and “That’s a bird! That’s a boat! That’s a cow—MOOOOOOOOO!”

It was really remarkable how well our boys held up during this busy day. They were well behaved and good sports the whole time. We had a tiny tantrum from Asher near the end, when he was tired. But he rallied beautifully when we went to  ‘s place to visit and have dinner with her and Andrew and

jaleenafied.
Ian and I had so much fun with our kids and friends. I look forward to more adventures like this as Lucas and Asher grow! It’s so good to feast my eyes on new things, gorgeous places, and kind friends!

1990 … August 11 … There was a party in Steve and Bryn’s parents’ backyard. There were friends and food, performances, and Greek garb. The stars were out and falling in showers; we drank honey wine and ate grapes. It was a magical beginning for the most magical relationship of my life. Later, in a new town there was a dorm room with pink cabbage roses and white lace on the bedclothes.

1991 … Our long-distance love affair involved letter-writing every day and much driving between Sacramento and Santa Barbara. We shared precious walks on the beach and expensive phone bills. We enjoyed Ren Faire adventures with new friends and poor breathing. Sacramento pulled me home, but I couldn’t come back yet.

1992 … I started a new life in Berkeley. Ancient Greek and Latin studies for me, Bio and sciences for you. The distance didn’t hurt so bad and we saw each other much more often.  We designed rituals and challenged ourselves. We studied magic of many types.

1993 … We broke up, kinda. You needed to leave and see something new. We got back together after a wild run through the snow. You worked construction and sold your car, and we drove to LA together to put you on a plane to Sweden. I wrote a book for you and kissed you goodbye. Later, I left for Scotland. We met again on foreign soil and walked through a candlelit cemetery. We were handfasted one eerie night on a glowing beach by the North Sea. We had the sweetest, loneliest Christmas together in Scotland.

1994 … You surprised me on a Friday evening by winging your way across two countries via trains, planes, buses, and automobiles. We got engaged accidentally when you knocked on my door at midnight. We traveled across Europe together, sleeping in a tent, in trains, in hostels, mostly apart. We argued and figured out how to work together. We graduated college and I lived with you and your father for a while. We made Reggae on Sunday mornings. We didn’t know what we wanted in life, but we knew we wanted to be together.

1995 … We finally moved into our own apartment together!  It was perfect. P Street friends and many shared meals were fun. We were married on June 3 and it was so good. We honeymooned in Oregon. You were getting your teaching credential. I lost a job and got an internship. We had no dough for six months; we lived on kisses, I think.

1996 … I began working at Prima—a lot. You taught a grade 1-2 class full of disadvantaged kids. It hurt and you wanted to bring them all home with you because they weren’t getting enough love, or food, or dental care. I fell in love with you that much more.

1997 … We became fencers, briefly. We ran at Hiram Johnson High School track together. You attended classes at Rudolf Steiner college, thinking that teaching Waldorf kids would be better. Then you started working with technology and we got a little richer. We locked our TV in the garage and didn’t watch it for two years.

1998 … We worked hard, long hours and saved every dime we could. We lived at my grandmother’s house on 15th Avenue. We went to Hawaii with my parents and the house almost burned down. Technology was better for you in some ways and worse in others.

1999 … We hosted a wedding in grandma’s backyard. We bought our home in June! We attended Burning Man for the first time, but just for two days and it blew our minds. We started planning for more trips to the playa. We were happy and free to move and pursue our interests. I learned to weave. You studied a lot.

2000 … We froze at Burning Man and nearly lost our shelter! Prima layoffs happened and some friends were affected. We built a geodesic dome in our backyard from scratch. We talked about kids and I was scared. We went to New Mexico with your dad to visit family, and then struck out on our own to explore. We read lots and lots of books.

2001 … We went to Burning Man with many friends. Some boots talked to you. Weird times followed, including 9/11 and a pregnancy. We waded through hormones and anxiety together. Would we be decent parents together? What if our marriage changed? We left Kaiser for midwife care instead. We both dreamed we were having a girl. We madly painted fish onto bedroom walls.

2002 … Birthing classes, new friends. Oops, didn’t finish the class because on May 1^st, Lucas baby arrived. Everything changed. I turned 30. This year was hard and lonely for both of us, but also exquisitely beautiful and extraordinary. We didn’t sleep. We struggled to find our places in this new three-part family. I worked from home. Your high-paying job laid you off when Lucas was 4 months old. Now what? You investigated autism.

2003 … You went to work for TAC helping disabled kids. I was so proud of you! My employer asked me to come back and I got so, so sad. We employed a nanny until we realized that I couldn’t be away from home for 55 to 60 hours per week. I left in August after 6.5 years and went freelance. Freelance? What the heck does that mean? We struggled and little Lucas toddled. We visited Hawaii again, with a baby in backpack.

2004 … We took two-year old Lucas to Burning Man and he got pneumonia! We left, feeling like the worst parents ever. He started preschool across the street. You taught little kids to talk, both at work and at home. And we felt so grateful to have this perfect child.

2005 … I started writing on LiveJournal, recording our daily victories and struggles. It helped me stay connected and made me saner. You untangled many knots at work. I began making more money freelancing and we started feeling comfy again. Lucas attended Treasure Garden preschool after some weird hiccups. He spent his days playing outdoors. He was wild.

2006 … Lucas turned 4 and we looked around and thought, “Oh, weren’t we going to have another baby?” And then suddenly there was a bun in the oven. We joined the PSA and the three of us went to Burning Man for one last fling before baby. Mommy got depressed. Lucas started kindergarten. We waited. You worked on a master’s degree.

2007 … Asher arrived in a rush. Oops! We had a baby in the shower. I got sick. Really sick. Hospital and terror. You were mommy and daddy to our kids for a short time. And then there was a slow healing, with a newborn at my side. He eventually got the OK to breastfeed and then I proceeded to fatten him up. You and I both suffered from a little PTSD, I think. Dreamy, sleepy days and nights dominated that first year.

2008 … Asher turned 1. I finished my textbook. You became an executive. Weird. Lucas turned 6 and went to first grade! I experienced my slowest year ever, which gave me lots of time with the kids, but it was also worrisome. We worked hard, ceaselessly supporting this family of four. You were unflagging and lovely and became a brand-new BCBA. I didn’t sleep enough.

2009 … Stressful work for you, easier times for me. Lucas turned 7 and we threw him the most amazing birthday party. Asher learned to talk and made us laugh every day. We lean on each other, as we always have. We love faithfully and intensely.

To Be Continued …

The baby blanket I started knitting back in March is now finally finished. I made it for my friends’ Gordon and Cindy’s new baby boy, Liam, who was born nearly six-weeks early in March. I was originally hoping to have it finished by his real due date, but alas, life and work and mothering got in the way. Then it got hot and it wasn’t quite so nice to knit in the heat. Liam is now four and a half months old, and unfortunately, August in Sacramento isn’t typical blanket weather. Nevertheless, I’m thrilled to have it completed before he entered college.

This is my biggest knitting project to date. It’s also the first project I’ve ever done that required perling. The blanket is 130 stitches across and countless rows. (I may actually try to count them so that I can know how many thousands of stitches I put into it. Sometimes math IS fun!) Every stitch was made with love and prayers for health and happiness, especially during the first few weeks of his life, when he was in the NICU.

Welcome Liam! Hope you like it.

Wow! Two weekend trips in a row! I haven’t written about the last one yet, which was super-fun, but I will soon.

Tonight we head up the hill to Strawberry, just west of the Tahoe Summit. We’ve been invited by Grandpa Glen’s girlfriend, Miriam, to stay with them at her cabin. It’s lovely and nicely situated near a small river and within short driving distance of those sapphire Alpine lakes. I’m really looking forward to hearing the wind whistling through the pines.

Ian’s planning to barbecue some of his extra-fancy steaks. We have loads of organic produce from our CSA (Farm Fresh To You) to take with us, including gorgeous cherries, grapes, heirloom tomatoes, and more zucchini than a CRV full of Wilsons could possibly eat!

I have an empty CF card and I’m not afraid to use it.

P.S. Today, Asher is two and a half, or in the proud parent vernacular, 30 months old!

I once had a girlfriend in a faraway place. She was from Oregon. She was blond, beautiful, funny, wicked-smart, and into reading Latin and snacking on tea and scones. She suffered from homesickness, long-distance love, and asthma just like me. We studied together. We poured out our heartaches together. I crushed on her. We kissed once. I took care of her when she got very sick and helped her not flunk for being unable to take exams. We parted ways, promising to be forever friends. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding. I attended her wedding the next year in Portland. Then we lost touch. A few phone calls and a Christmas card or two are all that have passed between us in the last 15 years. I know she got divorced. I think she might have gone into nursing. I don’t know where she is or what she’s doing or if she’s happy. I’d like to know all those things about her and more. Today is her birthday. Happy birthday, beautiful Jenny. I’ll always love you.