Our little angel turns 4-year-old on Monday, May 1st. We are preparing for two birthday parties: one for kids and one for our family. Thank the gods that my MIL talked me out of splitting the family gathering into two separate occasions, making the total three parties. That would have been madness.

As it is, we’re staring down the barrel of two cakes, two sets of paper-products/utensils, activities for children, goodie bags for child-guests, gifts, balloons, seating, food for two armies, etc. Not to mention the cleaning. I was OK till today—today I got stressed.

Part of the problem lies in Lucas’s unwillingness to decide on any “theme.” We decided we would entertain the kids at Saturday’s party with finger painting. It’s messy, but not rules-based, fun. This age group doesn’t do “organized activities” all that well, and frankly, I’m not a good organizer of children or children’s activities. More than three kids in a room makes me nervous. Honestly, I don’t know how I survived my public schooling. (Maybe that’s where my PTSD comes from.)

So, anyway our only “theme” is “birthday.” Every time we ask Lucas what kind of cake he would like to have (to thereby determine what type of decorations we should have) he says something like: “Cinderella-Thomas-Percy-Harold the Helicopter-Belle-Snow White-Cowgirl-Lava Girl cake!” As I already mentioned to Parnasus, I fear no cake could possibly live up to his expectations. Nevertheless, I’m in a cake conundrum. We’re trying for the “cowboy/girl” idea, but we aren’t having a lot of luck.

Parnasus, bless her heart, has agreed to tell a story during the kiddie party. This is wonderful and perfect and really nothing could make me happier. I know the children will love it!

As for the family party, I only have two words to say: POT LUCK
Oh, and I’m buying that second cake.

P.S. Some sappy reflections on my baby turning 4 may follow sometime soon. Jeez! Has it really been FOUR YEARS?

Today, my friend B asked me if I would like to go running with her. Like a deer on the road blinded by the glare of an oncoming car, I said, “Um… yeah!”

Some background:

B is the mother of one of Lucas’s best friends. She’s tall and thin and gorgeous—even though she has THREE kids. She’s a professional, too. She is a neonatal intensive care nurse at Sutter. B was attracted to me as a potential friend because I have a subtle sign on my CRV that says, “I am Pro-Choice America”— something I got from NARAL. My sign is subtle because it’s actually on the inside of my rear driver-side (tinted) window—I’m too much of a princess to put actual bumper stickers on my vehicle. But it’s there to subtly piss off fundies, and, I suppose, to subtly attract hot mothers of preschoolers. Apparently, B sometimes gets sick of all the feel-good, supermom, Christian Waldorf people. Apparently, my little pro-choice sign indicated that I was edgy and friend material.

Anyway…

B is a runner. She looks like a runner, except she’s stacked. B informed me today that she’s training for a marathon.

I am not training for a marathon.

I am simply training to not get fat again. I am slowly climbing the fitness hill out of the Valley of Sloth.

So why I said “Yes, I would like to run with you” is a bit of a mystery to me. I think it’s because I would like to be like B—would like to be able to do what she can do. A brief fantasy played in my mind: We are both running near Lake Natoma, in shorts and tanks and clean white shoes. B’s golden hair floats along behind her, gleaming in the sunshine. I am keeping up with her; we are running side by side, chatting becasue we are so fit that conversation is easy and relaxed. I am not wheezing. My knees feel fine. I am cracking funny jokes and she is laughing.

Then the otherworldly bubble burst. I started backpeddling: “Um, well, I’m not really a runner. I jog a little bit. I’m only just trying to get into better shape. I’m pretty much starting from scratch. I’m not very fit. Um… I’m definitly slower than you are. I can only do a 15 minute mile—and I can only do that like, maybe two miles.”

B smiled at me. “I don’t care,” she said. “It will be fun! We can walk.”

Relieved, I said I was pretty sure I could run for a ways—that we wouldn’t have to walk the whole time.

We have a date for next Tuesday. Instead of sitting in a café like we have a couple of times, we’re going to Lake Natoma to go running. I am glad I said yes.

I wrote almost 100% of it yesterday—the day it was due. Then I spent the evening chopping it almost in half to meet the word count. It is HARD to ax good material: last night I felt like I was slashing my way through the jungle with a machete. I’m SOOOOO glad it’s done, or at least, that I’m done with it. I did WAY too much work on it. I wish I knew of a way to parlay the rest of my research into another article on the subject or slightly similar subject. Hmmm… maybe I’ll ponder that.

Now I’m just hoping that all those inspiring stories that I heard about people who exercise despite serious health conditions (to help manage their conditions) will continue to prod me to rise from my office chair and work out regularly.

Dr. Davis said, “The deposits I make today into my bank of health really have to last me through my lifetime. And it really is an issue of choices.”

He also said, “Even those folks who can do only a little bit of exercise, they smile more, they look at you directly in the face more than they did before. They wear clothing that says more about themselves that begins to show that confidence….And people feel that they are beautiful people. It’s an unusual transformation that happens and it doesn’t take very long.”

So far, so good…

Hi Friends and Cheerleaders,

Friday, April 21, Lucas and I went on a pretty long neighborhood walk. He rode his tricycle and I walked to keep up with him. (He took his first major bike spill too, but continued the ride.)

Yesterday, April 24, I took an extremely brisk neighborhood walk for 25 minutes. Then later I attended the best yoga class I’ve ever taken. It was tough, but doable. I think I got the breathing thing much better than I ever have before because the instructor was very clear about when to inhale and when to exhale. Each move was like “Inhale up to cobra pose. Exhale down to the floor.” No way to get confused. It was a great all-over body workout and I can totally feel that my back, arms, shoulders, chest, butt, hips, and legs worked hard! Yet I don’t hurt today. Finishing off the day in the hot tub was great!

My only blow-it move yesterday was having two bowls of cereal for breakfast ’cause we were out of fresh eggs, and the leftover Easter eggs didn’t look so appealing 9 days after Easter.

My Gentle Exercise article is now finished, but I’m hoping to do more yoga and try some water classes at CA Fam Fitness. Hopefully I can keep up the momentum.

Well, I haven’t written my article yet. I’ve done all the research, all the interviewing. I have about five or six times more material than I need for the 2,300-wd piece I have to write. My deadline is Monday. I’m not stuck, or blocked, per se. Frankly, I’m just don’t want to write it. Today I have no childcare, so it will be tough to knock it out today, which of course, would be ideal. I have plans for this weekend, so I’m honestly not sure when it’s going to get done. The crazy thing is I’ve already spent about 28 hours on it. So, if the stars align and if my muse shows up sometime between now and Monday at 5 p.m., I might just break the $20 per hour mark on this job. (That’s sucky, BTW.) I know that once again I have done WAY more work than was actually necessary. Curse my perfectionist tendencies!

However, there are other benefits (besides money) earned by my writing this piece for the magazine: doing it 1) leads to more work, both writing jobs and editing jobs for them (and my hourly editing rate is quite good), 2) provides me with more writing clips and more exposure, 3) keeps my skills up, 4) allows me to meet and talk with lots of interesting people that I would not meet otherwise, 5) allows me to learn new things, and 6) makes my grandmother happy to see my name on articles when she gets her magazine in the mail. Writing articles is about the only thing that most of my family members can understand about my business and skills. It’s a tangible thing they can see and it makes them proud. You can bet your boopy that they’re not going to seek out one of the more obscure and intellectual monographs that I’ve edited. Besides, generally speaking, my name doesn’t get in those: I’m sort of a “behind-the-scenes” editor on most of those projects.

The other good news is that the process required to research and write this piece on exercise has really motivated me to get my ass into gear again. I recently realized that it was a year ago that I kind of fell out of the exercise habit—ironically, it was during the writing of another piece about weekend warriors. My life got crazy-busy, and stressful, and depressing about this time last year. I lost steam and stopped running and working out, and basically spiraled down the drain for a couple of months. I’m very happy to report that the opposite is true this year, with this exercise article. I’m inspired by the people I’ve interviewed and I’m building up momentum at the gym. So, yay!

So, the awesome news is that I’m already feeling better. It’s partly the weather being springy and sunny, but it’s also largely because of my workouts. Just like Dr. Davis (the sports medicine guy I interviewed recently) said, as soon as even a tiny bit of progress is made, the person begins to transform in many ways. I already feel more energetic, sexier, happier with myself, and happier with how I’m spending my time.

Yesterday 4/19: I only managed to walk to and from the Bennetts’ twice, but when Lucas is riding his little trike, I have to help push him up the hills. This adds some small amount of resistance to my walk. It’s a cheerful little walk too. I like to admire the neighbors’ yards and get garden/landscape ideas.

Today I went to the gym. 10 mins on elliptical (80 cals); 39 mins on treadmill (130 cals; ran a mile of the 2.12 miles I traveled.) Heart rate is well in the cardio zone, so that’s good.

Also lifted weights for a 1/2 hour: pecs, triceps, abs, low back, quads, etc. Now I am showered and I feel great (but I still don’t want to write my article).

Does sex count as a cardio workout if your blood boils and your heart chakra opens while you do it? If so, then I’ve had a few more workouts this week too. 🙂

Also had a chiropractic adjustment today. Weight: 129

NOTE TO SELF: Must get/bring music device or at least head phones. “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” are NOT funny without sound or close-captioning.

So, last Sunday, for the first time in my life I experienced a conjunction of paganism/nature religion with Christianity in a place not filled with my closest and dearest friends. It was very exciting for me, and so I have to share.

The Sunday service at the UUSS was an “intergenerational” service, which means they wanted the children to be able to participate and follow the service. Thus, they designed one that was full of storytelling and music. The assistant minister (woman) and the worship leader (teen or young adult) acted out three separate stories in front of the congregation. The first story was about a seed that grows and changes into a tomato plant that bears fruit. The second story was—get this—the Demeter and Persephone myth, as retold for children by Starhawk. The third was the story of Mary Magdalen finding the stone of Jesus’ tomb rolled aside and the body of Jesus missing. The theme with all three stories was that change, transformation, and rebirth are good for us, and that Spring is an optimal time of year to embrace change and renewal in our lives.

I’m all for it. None of this stuff about renewal is a new concept. But a pagan Greek myth told in a church service? That’s a first in my experience!

UUSS also held an Easter egg hunt for the kids. The Women’s Ritual Group provided eggs filled with raisins and cheerios and little rolled up paper scrolls with messages:

Scroll 1: “To many people in the United States, Easter is generally thought of as a Christian holiday. But did you know that the word “Easter” never appears in the Bible? The name comes from an Anglo-Saxon (Germanic) goddess of spring called Eostre (Es-truh), as in estrogen (a female hormone). And, guess what—her symbols were the rabbit (Easter bunny) and the egg (Easter eggs).”

Scroll 2: “Easter is in the spring, about the time of the vernal (spring) equinox—a time of balance when night and day are of equal length. The seasons are reversed, or complementary in the northern and southern hemispheres of this earth. For example, when we have spring, the southern hemisphere is having fall.”

Scroll 3: “Many Christians believe that Jesus came back to life on Easter. Many gods before Jesus were reputed to come back to life in the spring, such as the Persian (Iranian) god of light, Mithra, who was born on—guess what—December 25, around the time of the winter solstice (longest night, shortest day).”

So, yeah. Out loud, in front of God and everybody—young and old—this congregation acknowleged the goddess and the appropriation of pagan symbols by Christianity. Neat.

I get to go work with grown-ups today! I’m off to Sac. Magazine to work for the day.

I don’t have the energy to write about all of it, but I do want to say we had a good weekend, even if it was rather full. We went to Ian’s mom’s house on Saturday, and saw Ian’s dad and his girlfriend on Saturday night. On Sunday we went to UUSS, and then went to my grandmother and great-grandaunt’s house to see all the crazy Merkels, Muellers, and Elams, and the many assorted hangers-on. Yes, kids. That’s two solid days of Easter.

The best part of Easter started late on Saturday night and resumed again early Saturday morning. Before bed, we put some carrots (with tops) out on our garden altar on Saturday night for the Easter bunny. We talked a little about the goddess and how this is a special time of year for her, and how she sends her animal, the Easter bunny, to visit and share her bounty and blessings with every child and every person. Eggs and bunnies are old nature religion and goddess symbols. On Sunday morning, Ian and I set the alarm and went out to the altar really early, in the damp. Later, Lucas hunted eggs in the rain and lit up when he found the altar full of goodies and flowers. We found the carrots were nibbled and only the tops remained. The Easter bunny had left gifts for us (colored eggs, plastic eggs with coins, stickers, some chocolate, flowers, fresh fruits, and a candle). Lucas carefully gathered them all into baskets. We placed the flowers in vases and he asked if he could eat the strawberries and grapes that the Easter bunny left for dinner later that night. It was fun and meaningful and it worked. We strive to carve out a tiny piece of each holiday to create and maintain our own Wilson family traditions, and to remake the holidays into versions that suit us better.

I am sorry that we didn’t get to see friends at the home of Parnasus, Samayam and everybody! I think that’s the only sad thing about the weekend.

Oh, and Lucas didn’t even ask me for a piece of candy today.

Just wondering if you have any opinions about Pilates that you are willing to share. Have you tried Pilates? How does it compare to yoga? Do you like it? There’s a class on Friday that I’m thinking of attending.

Also, I’m interested in yoga tape/DVD recommendations. Anybody know a good one?

Thanks!