Friday

Working, Asher at babysitters’ house, May Day celebration at Lucas’s school, potluck lunch, Lucas at babysitters’ for afternoon, hair appointment to become more fabulous, 4:30 p.m. vodka and seven, visit with my mom, Ian home from work with more fixings, dinner out, carboliscious Mexican food including nachos and a fajita burrito, evening visit to Chicken Park, bedtime rituals, fell asleep with each of my kids in turn.

Yesterday

Shopping for mom, trip to Lowe’s garden store to purchase new plants, Ian’s labor (shirt off, mattock swinging, digging holes), Lucas’s helping, coreopsis, primrose, orange honeysuckle, purple fountain grass, artemesia, foxgloves, marguerites, agapanthus, muddy baby, sex-on-the-beach cocktails, leftover pork tenderloin and salad, bedtime rituals, TV, lovemaking, snoring. 

Today

Awake at o-dark-thirty, nursing and listening to birdsong, snoozing, Lucas’s 6 a.m. temper tantrum, later in bed alone reading Dr. Doolittle, coffee, receiving handmade gift from Lucas (a heart-shaped necklace made of wet-felted wool and yarn) lax and cream-cheese omelet and breakfast sausage, champagne, brief visit from mom and dad, fancy soaps for my mother, hot tubbing with all of my boys, lunch at Ian’s mom and stepfather’s with Aunt Kellie, VoVo, and DeeDee, fancy necklace for grandma, Lucas swimming, breezy back porch time, Asher throwing the ball for the dog to fetch, Lucas’s temper tantrum, grumpy ride home, nap for me and Asher, chess and a Mary Poppins chapter for Lucas and daddy, waking up, playing outside, crab cakes, more sex-on-the-beach, homemade chicken dinner, crying baby, Lucas in bed early, blogging, and … if I am really lucky, soon sleeping baby, Eskimo kisses, toe nibbles, and spooning.

Happy Mother’s Day!

So last night was weird.

And fun.

And this morning I’ve flip-flopped between feeling embarrassed and giddy.

I met my mother for coffee and a mini shopping trip. I took Asher along of course. 

I got him dressed. 

Well, I took him in the outfit he slept in. But I put socks and shoes and a coat and hat on him.

I got myself dressed. 

We drove to meet mom. We chatted and drank coffee. 

Asher cooed at the passing people.

They cooed back at him.

We shopped a bit.

I drove home and put Asher to bed for a nap.

I worked while he slept.

I crept around the house silently.

He woke.

We played.

We ate lunch at around 2 p.m.

I mused about last night while he ate dried blueberries and bits of lunchmeat.

I looked over to where I had removed and left my black boots earlier while Asher was sleeping.

Two.

Different.

Black.

Boots.

Oy.

So, Ian and I have a date to go to a new restaurant owned by Mason Song, called Maritime Seafood and Grill, in Carmichael on Saturday  (http://www.sacbee.com/117/story/423116.html), so today, Valentine’s Day, isn’t the romantic, knock-your-cock-ring-off kind of day the diamond stores would have us think it is. (But don’t get me wrong—I got nothin’ against cock rings or diamonds!)

We have celebrated—but we did it with our kids. Late last night, I made a path of red, pink, and light pink paper hearts from Lucas’s bedroom to the kitchen table, and from our bedroom to the kitchen. I set out red placemats, a red candle, a Valentine’s balloon, and homemade Valentines at each place setting. I set out the heart-shaped egg molds, but forgot that we were out of eggs. No worries! Yogurt, chicken nuggets, and cereal for Lucas and quesadillas for us are a perfect way to celebrate Valentine’s Day!

When Lucas woke this morning, he came into our bedroom as usual and whispered, “Dad, there’s something special in the living room. Come see!” It wasn’t until the lights were on that he realized the paper hearts on the floor lead all the way to the kitchen. “Theres even a heart on my chair!” he said. We had a nice breakfast together, with only a moderate amount of “Get your clothes on!” and “No! My foot hurts!” drama. Five-year-olds are weird.

Today at school, Lucas enjoyed a Valentine’s Day party, complete with a story, a cookie, and a special dance. “Everyone fell down!” he said. “Even Miss Johnson! And Ripley, but I caught her. I saw that she was going to fall down so I went over and caught her.” (Lucas has a crush on Ripley, I think.)

He brought home Valentines that he made at school and a Valentine crown. He also brought out the Valentine that he made last week with grandma VoVo, which he’s kept hidden in his room, and gave it to us. They are all very cute and he was very proud of them. We talked about how on Valentine’s Day, we make sure that the people we love know we love them. 

EDIT: I forgot to mention that Ian went grocery shopping to buy a special (last-minute) dinner, too. Good thing he called home before he checked out! He brought home a beautiful bouquet of flowers to grace our dinner table.

I took the kids grocery shopping late this afternoon to buy supplies for a special (last-minute) dinner. I cooked London Broil with mushrooms and onions and salad. I bought big, fat (heart-like) strawberries and whipped up some cream for dipping. Ian made me two cosmos and then poured a lovely red wine with dinner. So, halfway through the meal I realized that I was totally tipsy and thoroughly enjoying myself. “Watch out, mom! If you have too many cosmos, you might get drunk and then you can’t drive a car!” Lucas informed me. I told him I wasn’t going anywhere. The strawberries and whipped cream after dinner were a big hit. We all laughed  a lot and even Asher ate two strawberries.

So, in the midst of our “normal” weeknight routine of dinner prep, cleanup, shower, stories, and bed, I ended up being drunk and goofy. Ian and I got romantic while Lucas showered and Asher (unbeknownst to us) splashed in the toilet. 

Oh. Shit! Not supposed to get frisky while the baby splashes in the toilet! That’s on the special Only Bad Parents Do These Things list. Ooops. Dammit, Ian, weren’t you supposed to buy those toilet locks?!

We moved on to stories (Days wth Frog and Toad) and cuddles for Lucas and drunk mama. We sang and snuggled and professed our undying, immeasurable love for one another. Asher crawled into Lucas’s room looking for me while we were cuddling—not something that usually happens.

So, now we get to try to coax Asher to sleep before Ian and I can make love. Hopefully, the baby will fall asleep before I do, but after several worrisome, sick-baby, wakeful nights, I’d say it’s now about even odds.

I promised I’d get permission before I posted this one, so we’ll see if Ian lets it pass.

Sometimes being a parent and a woman madly in love with her husband results in crossed wires and surreal nights. Oh. I think I hear Ian behind the bar shakin’ up another cosmo.
 

Work at the magazine this week went well. I was brave and gracious. I talked to all my (ex-) coworkers about the changes at the magazine and my services as proofreader being discontinued. At least to my face everyone was sorry about it and regretful. The editor promises me that I’m the one they’ll call back when the economics are better. She referred to having me working on the magazine a “luxury.” Probably what will happen is that the in-house people will be asked to work more and harder. An editorial employee who is my friend also got cut: She still has a job, but they demoted her to receptionist (and canned the receptionist they had) and cut my friend’s pay. A few other people in different departments were affected (i.e., let go). They have also cut their freelance budget by what sounds to me like a big number, but given that I have no idea what the budget was or what it is now, it’s hard for me to say.

So, we’ll see. I guess they gotta do what they gotta do to stay healthy and weather the economic changes in the region. I must say though, it’s kind of ironic (correct word choice?) that I consistently read about all the wonderful, progressive, exciting things that are happening in this town in the pages of this magazine, which is presently reacting to an economic downturn. Anyway, Monday will be my last day there.

I’ve come to find the silver lining in this change: It’s kinda hard on Asher to have me leave him with a sitter or grandma for 3 to 4 days in a row, when the rest of the month he’s with me constantly. He has survived, of course, but by Friday evening, it was clear that he wanted and needed some mama time. Now I won’t have to do that anymore. I will still need babysitting, but I can arrange it on my own terms and hopefully establish a more consistent rhythm for him—one that he can actually get used to—that doesn’t have 27 days between sets of sitter days. As he is coming into The Great Separation Anxiety Stage, this will be easier on him.

Last Thursday, my father turned 62. That is hard to believe. In my mind, he is still 40. He probably will always be that age in my mind. A friend recently lost her father to cancer. He was older than my dad is—a doctor who practiced medicine up until his end. I can see how hard losing her last parent has been on her. Her plight has inspired some morbid thoughts.

I am thoroughly enjoying the drawing classes that Ian and I are taking on Thursday nights. The teacher is teaching in a loose, intuitive way, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. But the true gift of the class is that we 1) leave our home and kids and assorted real-life distractions, 2) go to a studio/gallery where we are surrounded by art and things to draw, and 3) there are two and a half glorious hours with nothing else to do except drink tea. We are hoping to continue the classes for the next couple of months, or for as long as our babysitters are willing to watch our kidlings. Ian has really caught the bug. He’s been practicing at home, which is wonderful to see because while he’s drawing, he’s not worrying. I love this guy so much. I hate to see him worried. It has been very good for us to have this time together and share this artistic pursuit. I can’t wait to paint!

My brother and his girlfriend, Courtney, recently got back from a vacation in Mexico. It sounds like they had a super time. I think this is Jonathan’s first serious vacation in years. I’m happy for them both. I just love seeing them together and it is my sincerest hope that they continue to make each other happy.

We spent a lovely couple of hours with friends last night. It was refreshing and made me so happy to see them.

Tonight Ian and I are taking our first art class together: basic drawing. We are both very excited about it for two reasons. We get to make art, which we so rarely get to do, and learn new things. And we get to do it together without our kids along. It is a little bit of just-us time that we haven’t had in so long. We used to do things like this together before our children came along (fencing, jiu-jitsu, workouts at the gym, watercolor painting, etc.). It’s almost like a date! 

We have lovely new art supplies in a neat little box. Two of each item. 

I hope the class is cool because we’re signed up for four nights of drawing and the school has many more classes that all sound very interesting, including watercolor painting, pastels, and oil painting, which is something I’ve never done before. 

My dearest hope is that this experience will unlock and clear some of the stuffiness and frustration we sometimes experience in our daily work/family grind, and bring some more flow (of ideas, movement, creativity, romance) into our relationship. I feel giddy.