Grateful

I’ve been thinking a great deal about my parents lately. No, nothing major is going on with them. They are fine and relatively healthy. I’m very grateful for this, and very, very grateful for all they do for me and for my family. They are involved in our lives in a way that is so supportive, and yet not controlling or meddling.

Here are just a few ways they help us on a regular basis:

Mom knits socks, hats, and sweaters for my kids constantly.

Mom hems pants and sews pants and shorts for my kids.

Mom repairs just about any clothing item I take her.

Mom is still teaching me how to do things like knitting and sewing, and she gives generously of her time. She also fixes/helps me fix my mistakes.

Dad and Mom buy gifts and clothing for the boys, and dinners for the whole family.

They each take Lucas to school one morning a week: Monday and Thursday.

They babysit when we have dates, or things to do with friends, or even if we just have to work.

Dad picks Lucas up from school once in a while and hangs out with him in the afternoon.

Dad finds projects to do with Lucas, like building toys, working with wood, etc. He even let Lucas help build his garage.

Mom sews with Lucas and teaches him to knit.

They take us on family vacations to Hawaii every few years and pay for most of the trip.

Mom gave Ian her old car and he’s been driving it for something like six years now, maybe more.

They invest money in college funds for my boys!

Mom donates things she has made to Lucas’s school fundraisers.

They listen to us, treat us with respect, and don’t overcrowd.

We have fun together.

It’s been a long time since we had to ask them for money, but I know they would help us if we needed help.

Best of all is that my parents have become my friends, in a way. I’m still their daughter and they still have an interest in my well-being, of course. But there are times when I want nothing more than to just hang out with them. Wow.

Turning Over

With the change of seasons, it’s time to move the warm-weather clothing aside to make way in drawers and closets for cold-weather clothing. I spent a couple of hours yesterday doing just that with Asher’s things.

This might be a rather tedious task to perform several times a year, except it makes me feel connected to moms and families all over the world whenever I do it. It doesn’t even matter what hemisphere you’re in. Chances are, if you have kids, you also are busy buying, making, sorting, evaluating, mending, packing, and unpacking belongings for your children because they’re always growing.

Will this fit next summer? Is this shirt still nice enough to save for the baby? Who has a child the right age to get more use out of these boots? Do these pants go into the donation box? These questions are being asked everywhere.

I pulled lots of 18 to 24 month clothes out of Asher’s dresser and filled a big shopping bag and a box full of clothing we no longer need. Some pieces are handmade by Grandma Sydney, including little matching Hawaiian shirts and shorts sets. I’m very happy I know a little boy who will grow into these things soon enough. It feels good to pass them on to dear friends.

We are rather lucky in that we have a mountain of things in our garage waiting patiently for Asher to grow into them. I pulled out the 3T box yesterday and pawed through it. The pants are all too big still, but many of the shirts will be useful this winter and beyond. It was a little like shopping for new things—kind of exciting in that way. But it was more like rediscovering old friends. I sometimes remember who gave the item to Lucas, or who made it for him, or where we were when we bought it. Even some of the stains are familiar. As I pulled out items from the box that was nearly as tall as Lucas is, memories of younger Lucas flooded my mind. It was bittersweet.

Ian has occasionally chafed at the amount of space all this STUFF takes up in his garage. But I know he’s happy to be saving the money because we don’t have to outfit our toddler from scratch. I’m so grateful to have the hand-me-downs, to use them again for Asher. I really like that these clothes get an extended life. What about the things that don’t yet fit? They go back into the garage to wait a bit longer.

House School and a Changing Time

“House School” is the delight of the moment. I gather from chatting with another second-grade dad, that it’s not just Lucas’s new play routine. Sounds like lots of second graders are playing school at home, teaching lessons, leading circle time, and saying verses. It manifested for us at home just three days ago. Ian and Asher were the first pupils to attend “House School,” as it’s known here. They had so much fun and raved about it. Lucas was thrilled to have found a game that the whole family could play—especially given that he gets to be in charge of it!

Last night I got to participate in House School a little, sitting in on a drawing lesson with my three boys. Lucas had cut out paper dragon shapes and we all got to color our dragons. I thought it was beautifully fitting for the feast day of St. Michael, which Wikipedia told me is traditionally held on September 29. Our four colorful dragons now adorn our Nature Table.

Something about this time of year has me feeling pulled in two directions in time. I’m wistful about our lazy summer evenings, which featured walks through our neighborhood, slow outdoor dinners with friends (regardless of the day of the week), sleeping until the sunlight streamed boldly through our bedroom window. I’m also feeling wistful about the little people I used to live with: Lucas as a younger boy, Asher as a baby.

At the same time, I’m eagerly looking forward to the joys of the autumn season: a trip to Apple Hill, the school Harvest Faire, our Thanksgiving Away (which hopefully will happen in November). I’m looking forward to some changes that will hopefully make us happier. The boys are growing and their capacity to adapt is greater. We’re thinking about moving them into the same bedroom together later this fall for several reasons: to promote their bonding, to bring their sleeping schedules into alignment with each other, to allow Asher to detach a little more from his nighttime dependence on us, and to allow me to set up shop in Lucas’s bedroom. I long for an office with a door again!

I also have lots of groovy, creative projects in mind, and keep envisioning more. I went to a craft night last night with other school parents and we sat around crafting, drinking wine, and chatting and it was lots of fun. These people are seriously creative! I worked on needle-felting mice for the Children’s Store at the Harvest Fair. I’m hoping to try my hand a soap-making soon, and I’ve been looking forward to taking a drop spinning class with a local teacher/Waldorf mama extraordinaire: Jennifer Tan of Syrendell.

I picked up a new editing project yesterday. You really never know where work is going to come from! This one came to me via my godmother and looks like it will be low-key, with a relaxed pace. It’s time to try lining up some winter projects. I’m pretty well booked through November-December. Staying on top of the marketing is always challenging and yet always worthwhile. I would like to add some new clients into the fold; some new regulars would be lovely.

Welcome, Autumn!

Autumn nature table, with a Michaelmas theme

Our autumn "nature table" on the piano, with a special Michaelmas theme in honor of Lucas being in second grade. The dragon painting above is from first grade.

Pumpkin I had to hunt for

This is the pumpkin I had to hunt for in the back of Safeway! Pumpkins aren't out yet in the stores. And I hear there may be a pumpkin shortage this year.

Caramels: I don't usually cook with these!

Old-timey Brachs caramels: I don't usually cook with these!

Caramel apples, before ...

Organic CSA apples before the caramel dipping.

Caramel apples, after! Aren't they beautiful?

Caramel apples! Aren't they beautiful? Not bad for a first try.

My friend Parnasus brought yummy sides and appetizers!

My friend, Parnasus, brought yummy sides and appetizers, along with her family, our dear friends! Festivals are both easier and more fun with friends.

Feast: Beef and vegetable stew in a pumpkin, chickpea and endive appetizer; salad with apples, cherries, pecans, and goat cheese!

Feast: Beef and vegetable stew in a cooked pumpkin, chickpea and endive appetizer; green salad with apples, cherries, pecans, and goat cheese!

Decoupage candle holders with leaves.

Samayam helped Asher with his decoupage candle holder.

Japanese maple leaf on a glass candle holder before glue and tissue paper decoupage.

The start of Lucas's craft project: Japanese maple leaf on a glass candle holder before glue and white tissue paper decoupage. They are still drying ...

Much thanks to Parnasus, Tara_bella, and Samayam for coming over with their children and helping us celebrate with good food and a special project!

Happy fall equinox, everyone! I hope you were able to enjoy the holiday, even though today felt every bit as much a summer day as yesterday.

Back-to-School Adventures

There dims in damp autumnal air

The senses’ luring magic;

The light’s revealing radiance

Is dulled by hazy veils of mist.

In distances around me I can see

The autumn’s winter sleep;

The summer’s life has yielded

Itself into my keeping.

—Rudolf Steiner (verse for the week of September 8–14)

It’s been a busy, busy week full of adjustments for everyone. Lucas went back to school on Tuesday. There was much rejoicing by his proud parents. He looked ready,  brave, and determined.

Lucas and Asher on the first day of school.

Lucas and Asher on the first day of school.

Honestly, I’m so excited for him. This year is going to be wonderful, full of friends, new confidence, Saints and fables to inspire us, as well as dragons to conquer.

Right before entering the second-grade classroom.

Right before entering the second-grade classroom.

We have had some struggles this week. Daddy had to go out of town for a conference on Wednesday morning, and we are emotionally at sea without our anchor. We are used to our days without Daddy, but when evening sneaks in we all look around at each other and miss him terribly. Asher has had a much harder than usual time at Ring-A-Rosies preschool and had to be picked up early two days. He is adjusting to Lucas being gone at school and Daddy not coming home at night, and he’s quite sure the scenario stinks. “I miss my daddy. I want my brother!”

As if to emphasize that change is in the air, Lucas’s top right incisor leaned sooooooo far out of his mouth that Lucas couldn’t help himself; he simply pried it out. And so, my 7-and-1/4-year-old son now has a giant window in his smile, and an adult tooth moving in fast.

IMG_5625-500

See how delighted he is?

Look at the size of that gap!

Look at the size of that gap!

As you can see, he is quite thrilled about the change and told me all about how he pushed the tooth back until it just popped out “… and there was this dangly gut thingy hanging there!”

We got to use the Tooth Fairy Pillow I made him for the third time, and this morning a $2 bill was sticking out of the pocket.

We all have big plans for the weekend: I’m flying down to Santa Barbara tonight for my first vacation alone with my husband in three years. I went to college in Santa Barbara for two years, and I haven’t been there since 1992. Ian and I courted there, so I’m thinking of this trip as a little honeymoon that we desperately need.

The boys will be going to my parents’ house, who will undoubtedly spoil them and feed them ice-cream sandwiches and sausages and pizza and all their favorite things. I can tell Lucas and Asher are anxious (as evidenced by the tantrums and invented neck aches and “too warm” foreheads), and possibly this isn’t the best weekend for me to leave them, after such an eventful week. And I’m tempted to feel tremendously guilty about it.

Nevertheless, I’m carrying on in the belief that a happy, rested mama, who has had the chance to have fun, reconnect with her husband, and recharge her marriage, will be a better mother for them in the long run.

And they will be fine.

Wist

I am very disciplined about keeping my dreams in check. I don’t allow myself much time to wish or ponder much other than my reality (which is really good—I promise I count my blessings often). Anyway, in part this habit is an effort to live in the present with my family and “be here now,” as they say. Maybe it’s also a survival mechanism. There isn’t a lot of point in fantasizing about my dream job or what white sand beach I’d like to be lying on when these fripperies aren’t in my cards right now. Honestly, I don’t spend a lot of time doing it.

So I didn’t think about Burning Man much before the start of this week. I watched with casual interest as people I know and love packed up their dusty belongings and trundled off to Black Rock City to be their truest selves for a week. On Monday, opening day of the festival, I imagined driving in to Greeters  and falling into that first welcome home hug, the blowing winds, the light so bright you must wear sunglasses. On Tuesday I realized Asher’s present age (2 years and 7 months) is actually just a few months older than Lucas’s age when he first went to the playa in 2004—our ill-fated Burn, when we stayed only 51 hours.  I looked at a photo of feverish baby Lucas at Burning Man, trying to have fun despite his racking pneumonia.

On Wednesday, I lost my mind. I had a bad day. My son and I argued and my feelings got hurt. I spent a ton of time driving around lost, listening to Raffi. I had a cranky, overtired baby on my hands. I missed my limited opportunity to work on important projects. In short, I went a little nutso, succumbing to stress and worry and letting stuff get to me. I spent an evening gnashing my teeth in a dear friend’s living room, enumerating all the things that feel out of control and frightening in my world, and crying over all the things I wish I could be doing.

I guess I had to say this painful stuff out loud. Sometimes I need to be heard, no matter how ugly my words sound to my own ears. My patient friend listened, offered me her enduring love, and suggested perhaps it’s OK that I don’t do it all.

It wasn’t until today, Thursday, that my friend and I both realized that I unwittingly followed my own tradition of completely freaking out on Wednesday of Burning Man week. (It’s not only my pattern though. Lots of people experience it, too). It’s the halfway point of the festival. It’s the day when I’m swept up in a whirlwind of intense emotion and physical stress, and all of my normal layers of protection peel off me like so much sunburned skin. A good, intense cry—some serious wailing into the wind— is usually needed on Wednesday. A catharsis of explosive proportions is almost always in order. The shrapnel is actually expected by friends and campmates, and they duck or provide emergency aid or ululate alongside me, as they are able.

I guess this catharsis is needed in real life, too. Sometimes I just have to screech so my own voice will drown out the harpies.

Pottery Creations

I’ve written a couple of times already about the pottery class that Lucas and I took this summer. It was great fun and I’m hoping to do another class, perhaps this fall. It was five evenings during which we both learned something new and got to spend some one-on-one time together.  Our relationship seems to have benefited from having this time away from Asher. Ian and I have resolved to find more such opportunities for Lucas to be with one parent; we’re fervently hoping that this might help improve his somewhat spiky and melancholy moods.

Here is a small selection of our clay creations.

Lucas’s clown

Here is Lucas’s clown. He conceived and executed this all on his own with no help at all. I think it’s adorable.

 My birdie bowl

Detail from my birdie bowl.

Lucas’s ceramic creations

Lucas made a small turtle he called Squirtle (à la Pokémon.) His beehive makes me think of Winnie the Pooh.

 Ceramic frog and two hearts

My frog and my Lucas and Asher hearts.

Sprite, frog, and Lucas’s sculpture

Lucas carefully glazed this small ball sculpture with a rainbow of colors. (I think of it as a paperweight, but I don’t know if he would agree with that description.) Choosing its glazes took him a long time because he had to find the color from among about a hundred samples, remember its number, and then find the appropriate jar of glaze. The teacher asked us to take no more than two glazes to our workspace at a time, so Lucas had to return to the table with all the glazes repeatedly.

And that little sprite guy is my invention; I had a few extra moments at the end of one class and thought he might look funny hiding in a potted plant or something.

Lastly, we both made thrown pots on the potter’s wheel. Lucas wasn’t too keen on his, so it’s not pictured here. And I made a sign for our doorstep, which you might see sometime.

As I type this, it’s not even 8:00 a.m. on Saturday morning, and yet the kids are already in the kitchen playing with clay.

A Love Story

 

1990 … August 11 … There was a party in Steve and Bryn’s parents’ backyard. There were friends and food, performances, and Greek garb. The stars were out and falling in showers; we drank honey wine and ate grapes. It was a magical beginning for the most magical relationship of my life. Later, in a new town there was a dorm room with pink cabbage roses and white lace on the bedclothes.

1991 … Our long-distance love affair involved letter-writing every day and much driving between Sacramento and Santa Barbara. We shared precious walks on the beach and expensive phone bills. We enjoyed Ren Faire adventures with new friends and poor breathing. Sacramento pulled me home, but I couldn’t come back yet.

1992 … I started a new life in Berkeley. Ancient Greek and Latin studies for me, Bio and sciences for you. The distance didn’t hurt so bad and we saw each other much more often.  We designed rituals and challenged ourselves. We studied magic of many types.

1993 … We broke up, kinda. You needed to leave and see something new. We got back together after a wild run through the snow. You worked construction and sold your car, and we drove to LA together to put you on a plane to Sweden. I wrote a book for you and kissed you goodbye. Later, I left for Scotland. We met again on foreign soil and walked through a candlelit cemetery. We were handfasted one eerie night on a glowing beach by the North Sea. We had the sweetest, loneliest Christmas together in Scotland.

1994 … You surprised me on a Friday evening by winging your way across two countries via trains, planes, buses, and automobiles. We got engaged accidentally when you knocked on my door at midnight. We traveled across Europe together, sleeping in a tent, in trains, in hostels, mostly apart. We argued and figured out how to work together. We graduated college and I lived with you and your father for a while. We made Reggae on Sunday mornings. We didn’t know what we wanted in life, but we knew we wanted to be together.

1995 … We finally moved into our own apartment together!  It was perfect. P Street friends and many shared meals were fun. We were married on June 3 and it was so good. We honeymooned in Oregon. You were getting your teaching credential. I lost a job and got an internship. We had no dough for six months; we lived on kisses, I think.

1996 … I began working at Prima—a lot. You taught a grade 1-2 class full of disadvantaged kids. It hurt and you wanted to bring them all home with you because they weren’t getting enough love, or food, or dental care. I fell in love with you that much more.

1997 … We became fencers, briefly. We ran at Hiram Johnson High School track together. You attended classes at Rudolf Steiner college, thinking that teaching Waldorf kids would be better. Then you started working with technology and we got a little richer. We locked our TV in the garage and didn’t watch it for two years.

1998 … We worked hard, long hours and saved every dime we could. We lived at my grandmother’s house on 15th Avenue. We went to Hawaii with my parents and the house almost burned down. Technology was better for you in some ways and worse in others.

1999 … We hosted a wedding in grandma’s backyard. We bought our home in June! We attended Burning Man for the first time, but just for two days and it blew our minds. We started planning for more trips to the playa. We were happy and free to move and pursue our interests. I learned to weave. You studied a lot.

2000 … We froze at Burning Man and nearly lost our shelter! Prima layoffs happened and some friends were affected. We built a geodesic dome in our backyard from scratch. We talked about kids and I was scared. We went to New Mexico with your dad to visit family, and then struck out on our own to explore. We read lots and lots of books.

2001 … We went to Burning Man with many friends. Some boots talked to you. Weird times followed, including 9/11 and a pregnancy. We waded through hormones and anxiety together. Would we be decent parents together? What if our marriage changed? We left Kaiser for midwife care instead. We both dreamed we were having a girl. We madly painted fish onto bedroom walls.

2002 … Birthing classes, new friends. Oops, didn’t finish the class because on May 1st, Lucas baby arrived. Everything changed. I turned 30. This year was hard and lonely for both of us, but also exquisitely beautiful and extraordinary. We didn’t sleep. We struggled to find our places in this new three-part family. I worked from home. Your high-paying job laid you off when Lucas was 4 months old. Now what? You investigated autism.

2003 … You went to work for TAC helping disabled kids. I was so proud of you! My employer asked me to come back and I got so, so sad. We employed a nanny until we realized that I couldn’t be away from home for 55 to 60 hours per week. I left in August after 6.5 years and went freelance. Freelance? What the heck does that mean? We struggled and little Lucas toddled. We visited Hawaii again, with a baby in backpack.

2004 … We took two-year old Lucas to Burning Man and he got pneumonia! We left, feeling like the worst parents ever. He started preschool across the street. You taught little kids to talk, both at work and at home. And we felt so grateful to have this perfect child.

2005 … I started writing on LiveJournal, recording our daily victories and struggles. It helped me stay connected and made me saner. You untangled many knots at work. I began making more money freelancing and we started feeling comfy again. Lucas attended Treasure Garden preschool after some weird hiccups. He spent his days playing outdoors. He was wild.

2006 … Lucas turned 4 and we looked around and thought, “Oh, weren’t we going to have another baby?” And then suddenly there was a bun in the oven. We joined the PSA and the three of us went to Burning Man for one last fling before baby. Mommy got depressed. Lucas started kindergarten. We waited. You worked on a master’s degree.

2007 … Asher arrived in a rush. Oops! We had a baby in the shower. I got sick. Really sick. Hospital and terror. You were mommy and daddy to our kids for a short time. And then there was a slow healing, with a newborn at my side. He eventually got the OK to breastfeed and then I proceeded to fatten him up. You and I both suffered from a little PTSD, I think. Dreamy, sleepy days and nights dominated that first year.

2008 … Asher turned 1. I finished my textbook. You became an executive. Weird. Lucas turned 6 and went to first grade! I experienced my slowest year ever, which gave me lots of time with the kids, but it was also worrisome. We worked hard, ceaselessly supporting this family of four. You were unflagging and lovely and became a brand-new BCBA. I didn’t sleep enough.

2009 … Stressful work for you, easier times for me. Lucas turned 7 and we threw him the most amazing birthday party. Asher learned to talk and made us laugh every day. We lean on each other, as we always have. We love faithfully and intensely.

To Be Continued …

Half Birthday

Dear Asher,

You are now two and a half years old! Somehow, this fact is stunning to me. Where did the last six months go? Well, let’s see …

You have learned to talk! To sing! To fight with your brother!

I gave up trying to write down all of your words several months ago. The floodgates of language opened up and I and my notepad were swept downstream in the river of your many expressions. It’s so exciting, hearing you communicate, perhaps most when you tell us firmly and in no uncertain terms that you are not happy with what’s going on, or tell us exactly what you want: “No Mama! Baby wants more chocolate ice cream! You’re in trouble, Mama!” I respect the way you stand up for yourself. I laugh a little, of course, but I respect it.

You mostly maintain a sunny disposition. You’re always game to jump in the car and go “bye-bye.” You like visiting people, especially your grandparents. You don’t even really mind it when I drag you out in the heat of the day to pick up your brother. Your laughter is contagious and nobody can resist your goofy grins. I worry about your dad because you seem to have him wrapped around your little finger. He would lasso the moon for you if you asked him.

This morning, before breakfast, you and Lucas began playing a new game. Our new sofa was instantly transformed into a spaceship. Lucas was piloting the ship and you were both navigator and gunner. You are so cute and funny when you follow your big brother’s lead. I see you watching him, striving to repeat his exact words and facial expressions. I know he is teaching you every day because I see Lucas in some of your behavior.

I don’t really like seeing you running around the house shooting monsters with imaginary guns (or pieces of toast), or sword fighting with any sticklike thing you can find, or chattering on and on about Pokémon creatures, but you are hard-wired to do it. I worry sometimes that you are learning things that are too sophisticated for your age, and that you are too attracted to big-boy things and games when you are still only a little boy. But I cannot stop it. It’s the way of older siblings to initiate younger siblings. I must try to remember to cherish every moment you are little because I think you will fight your way out of babyhood and into the world as fast as possible to keep up with Lucas.

Swimming has become one of your great loves this summer. At first, you were skittish and only wanted to put your toes in the water on the swimming pool step. Soon, though, you were leaping into my arms to be carried around the pool. You avidly practice your kicks now and don’t mind if you get a little water on your face. You’re jumping off the side of the pool to me now, but you don’t like it if I move too far away. As in all things, you enjoy telling me where in the pool to take you by pointing imperiously. “Where do you want to go?” I ask. “RIGHT THERE!”

I’m embarrassed to say it: You’re really into TV—of any kind. In the evenings when I am putting Lucas down for the night, you’re in with daddy watching shows. You have an impressive working knowledge of classic “Star Trek” and new “Dr. Who.”  I’ve tried shifting the routine, but you and your dad are both resisting, I think in part because daddy likes sharing these relaxing evening moments with you. He likes having a Star Trek buddy who joyfully exclaims “There’s Mr. Spock! There’s Captain Kirk!” when they come onscreen. Lucas really doesn’t care for any of the shows daddy likes.

And speaking of likes, we are presently witnessing the birth of the train and Thomas the Tank Engine obsession. I don’t really know if you will love them as much as Lucas did—or for as long—but they have definitely caught your eye. Now you pretend to be a train, choosing to be Gordon and saying “I’m a train. I’m Gordon. I puff away.” You scuff your little feet, preferably in dirt or dust, to make little clouds lift after you. We were recently near a baseball diamond in a park to watch Lucas play soccer on a nearby field and you refused to leave the hard-packed dirt of the diamond. There were terrific white chalk lines for tracks and the “smoke” you kicked up satisfied you much more than listening to a bunch of parents yell encouraging things to mini soccer players. You clutch the wooden toy trains and carry them around; so far you cannot be bothered to place them on the tracks. Lucas recently replaced his old porcelain Thomas bank because he outgrew it. You want to play with that big Thomas soooooo bad!

Meat is still your favorite food, followed closely by Strauss vanilla yogurt. You have recently tried noodles, which you call “noonoos.” I’m happy to see you eating some things of plant origins: carrots, sweet mini bell peppers, watermelon, and rarely, broccoli. I am grateful that you are going to preschool because I think your friends are helping you warm up to trying new foods. You like crackers, quesadillas, sautéed chicken, meatballs, tacos, hot dogs, rice, “chewy bars,” and cheese bunnies.

And now I must share a story about the cheese bunnies. These are organic cheesy crackers shaped like bounding bunnies. About a week ago, you crammed so many bunnies into your mouth—as is your habit when eating anything—that you choked. I was by my computer when you came toward me, flapping your arms and making the most alarming sound—but now that the excitement is over, I cannot remember what the sound was. Anyway, it wasn’t normal and I recognized that immediately. I hopped over the baby gate and realized you are too big for the infant-over-arm position and too small for the regular Heimlich position. I hooked you into my arm, lifted your body off the ground, and shoved my fist up into your diaphragm. You sputtered and I made three sweeps of your mouth with my finger to get all the cheesy-cracker goo out. Another moment passed and then you were coughing and crying. The first thing you said was, “Too scary!” I completely agree! Since then, we have talked a lot about taking little bites, not big bites because big bites can make you choke. Too scary, indeed.

I had hoped that you might show some interest in toileting by now, but mostly you haven’t. I think you are being encouraged at school to give the potty a shot, and we certainly urge you to try once in a while. But you really don’t want to yet and it makes you mad when we suggest it. You now wander off by yourself when you have to go “number 2” and tell us “Go away. I’m pooping,” if we come to investigate why you’ve become so quiet. OK, kid. You’re entitled to your privacy. I like that you now ask for a diaper change when you’re done, so that indicates you’re maturing and moving toward potty training.

You now know the names of most of your body parts. You enjoy telling people you have nipples, or they have nipples. “I see your booty!” you told me this morning. I asked you if you really just said what I thought you said. Yep. Then you immediately mentioned dinosaur booties. “Really BIG,” you said. And I tried not to follow your line of thought from my own naked derrière to giant dino butts.

We have taken two weekend trips this summer: one to the Bay Area and one to Strawberry, near the Lake Tahoe summit, to Mimi’s cabin. I am very happy you’re a good traveler. You adapt well to new places, and enjoy the adventure. In fact, you troop along beautifully, preferring to move under your own power rather than in the stroller or baby carrier. You try so hard to go everywhere Lucas goes, even up a mountainside, scrabbling over granite boulders! Your sweet nature seems to open doors for us. I hope this quality stays with you because I have hopes that someday we’ll be able to travel afar as a family.

I could write a lot more in this letter, like how you are fascinated with your brother’s big-boy things, like to imitate the sounds of animals, love to swing in your seat on the swing set in the backyard, would like to eat ice cream every day, prefer to draw and scribble directly on top of someone else’s writing, “work” on your “computer,” and strangely don’t seem to mind how your Play Dough is a now disgusting rusty brown color where it was once bright red, blue, and yellow. For now, though, I’ll sit back and let you bloom before my eyes.

I love you, Asher. You’re a treasure of a little boy.

Mama

Social Addict

It’s true. I’m an addict. I have actually socialized with people I love and admire for four days in a row, beginning on my birthday last Thursday and continuing through until late last night. It was wonderful and my heart feels full from all the hugs and kisses, love and attention I’ve received.  

On my birthday I went to Bellagio Spa and spent a gift certificate that Ian bought for me in 2005. I met [info]nonosays there and we got pedicures. I also got a lovely facial and a manicure. I could totally get used to doing that as often as possible.


See how cute my toes are?

On Friday I went to see [info]nonosaysgraduate with a graphic design degree from Sacramento State. It was super cool seeing her so happy in her funny black cap and gown. I only wish I got a photo of the googly eyes on her cap.

Here she is. Isn’t she beautiful?

On Saturday, we went to  her graduation party at her home in midtown. I got to meet some more of her and her husband’s family, which was fun. I especially enjoyed talking with [info]mrplanet4   ‘s mother and sister. We took the boys along and they did really well, considering we were at the party for 9 fun-filled hours. We finally dragged ourselves away at 9 p.m. when the boys’ eyes became glassy. They fell asleep the moment we strapped them into the car seats to come home. Some friends, including our gracious hosts, complimented us on how great Lucas and Asher were, which pleases me so much. Ian and I try hard to provide Lucas with plenty of positive reinforcement for being polite, friendly, and well behaved when we go places.

My home was full yesterday of delightful shenanigans, hot tub soaking, champagne, cocktails, brunch, burgers, dancing, sunshine, conversation, and beautiful people. My children were well behaved and wandered hither and thither among friends who love them. I admit I was sad when the last guest left at around 11 p.m., but felt glorious when falling into my bed. I slept a heavy, restful sleep and woke up feeling fantastic. Nothing quite like a day spent relaxing in the spa. It was exactly the day I imagined and wanted. Thank you, darlings. If anyone has some photos to share with me, I’d love to have them.

  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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