Lucky Me

I had a fantastic weekend with family and friends. I drank margaritas and jack ‘n’ diet cokes. I wore sexy high heels and a party dress. I received my first orchid corsage and my first orchid plant. I planted in my garden with my boys: new verbena, lavender, agapanthus, evening primrose, african daisies, carpet roses, and hydrangea are now in the ground. (Thank you, Ian!) I had five whole waking hours without my kids. I ate pie! I went swimming. I received hugs and kisses. It was delightful.

So, thank you for the hospitality: Kimkimkaree, Thaemos, FCL, and Grl_Fury. Thank you for the labor, Ian. For the gifts: Mikibean, Parnasus, NoNo, Mars, and everyone–Thank you. I’m the luckiest girl alive!

Asher Is 16 Weeks Old

Elimination Communication or Natural Infant Hygiene

So, because Kimmie posted about EC on her LJ back in January(?), I checked out a book from the Sac Public library called Infant Potty Training. I read the book with a healthy measure of skepticism, but by the end, I was pretty excited about the possibility—after all, much of the world doesn’t use diapers of any kind, and they raise gobs of babies. I did not do much beyond puzzle about how to accomplish it logistically and begin making the cuing sounds (ssss or a grunting noise) whenever I was aware that Asher was actually eliminating, in the hopes that he’d learn the association of the action with the sound.

(Aside: I read a book a few years ago about the importance of women’s work in ancient world, specifically about weaving and how woven cloth was highly valued and functioned as trade currency in ancient Mesopotamian society. I remember wondering at the time how these ancient people kept their babies clean and dry if cloth was, in effect, the most valuable item in the household.)

EC is not about “training” your baby. It’s about becoming familiar enough with his rhythms and watching for his signs and communications that he needs to go, then giving him an opportunity to go into a receptacle of your choice. It’s also about refusing to let your baby sit in a messy or wet diaper for any length of time if you can avoid it. It’s about knowing your baby so well, and helping him learn about where to go potty, so that he can go diaper free!

Last Wednesday, on May 16, I went to a talk about EC given by two mommies who are members of the Mothers’ Support Network and are practicing EC with their daughters. One mommy has been practicing it since her daughter was around 4 months old (the child is 11 months now) and the other mommy has been doing it since her daughter’s birth (the child is now 4 or 5 months old). I went to the talk because I was intrigued and wanted to hear about the practical application of the things I read in the book. It was useful and inspiring. I bought a book that day called Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene and drove to Goores to buy a tiny potty seat (the same one that these mommies use).

The next day Asher and I tried to use his new potty. It was midafternoon. I put him on it and made our cuing sounds…. And. He. Pooped.

Holy Diapers, Batman!

Thurs, 5/17: caught a poop
Fri, 5/18: caught a pee
Sat, 5/19: caught three pees in a row around midday
Sun, 5/20: Although I tried a number of times, my timing was off. Ian, however, tried one time and Asher peed in the potty. Ian had to come and ask me if the potty had actually been dry before he sat Asher upon it, because he didn’t quite believe that it had worked.
Mon, 5/21: caught 5 pees and 2 poops
5/22: about 4 pees
5/23: 5 pees and a poop

My God. It’s working.

http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/5-diap/42-natural-infant-hygiene.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication

Home


http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/shop/index.php/action/item/id/12/

Gardening Delights

Last weekend, we planted our vegetable and herb garden. (Starter plants and five hours of good hot labor from Ian is a lovely birthday gift.)

Technically, we mostly planted fruits (tomatoes, zuchini, summer squash, japanese eggplant, yellow bell peppers, watermelon, cantalope, cucumber) and some green and purple basil, golden thyme, oregano. We planted some green beans from seed and have some pumpkin seeds to sow still. Our little plot is off the kitchen patio and in the ground. It’s not as sexy looking as Dakini’s beautiful raised beds, but it will likley do the job. The drip system’s working and we moved some flag stones in so we can stand in between the plants. I mulched the plants well this time, so I think we’ll have less water evaporating off them. We’ve also created a path of flagstones from the patio to the fenced-off garbage can area. We plan to put mosses and thymes in between the stones.

I usually ask for plants for my birthday. (It’s not like I need more stuff in my house.) I got a nursery gift certificate yesterday for my birthday and this morning my father arrived with a bunch of bedding plants: mostly perennials because I LOVE flowers. In fact, I love flowers so much, there’s really not much space left in my yard to grow food! I’m thinking of planting a tree rose near my front door …. I wonder what color would look best.

I love to garden in spring. When I was a child, we had an iris in our front yard that always bloomed around my birthday. My mother called it my birthday flower and it was really special to me. Maybe that’s why May is for flowers in my mind.

Birthday

It was a lovely day. Much thanks to everyone for the cards, calls, emails, etc. Got to have lunch out with Thaemos, and dinner out with my three boys. Will catch up with Mom, Dad, Ro, Nana, and possibly Jonathan tomorrow night. Received a gift cert for Capital Nursery (yay for garden plants!) from Ian’s mom.

I’m 35 today. I’m very, very glad to see 35. Happy new year to me.

Bouncing Baby Boy

Asher and I went to the pediatrician’s office today. At 15 weeks, he now weighs 17 pounds 8 ounces! Holy cow! The doc said that’s the 96 percentile for weight. He is also 23.5 inches long.

Everything about him is healthy and fine. I was congratulated on my super-nutritious milk. Poor Asher got a shot (a combo of five vaccines) and an oral vaccine. I didn’t let them give him the other two injections they wanted to give him today. I think eight new substances is too many for a 3-month-old person to have to deal with. Sadly, we’ll have to go back in a few weeks for more shots. I hate this part of being a parent.

He’s doing ok but he’s definitely not his usual sunny self today,

In Memoriam

My grand-aunt, Mary Graves, passed away last week. She was 91 or 92 years old. Her death seems to have brought out the worst sort of behavior in the part of my dad’s family that I have never liked. The rift between the good and the evil relatives has widened considerably.

I never really knew or loved Mary. She wasn’t the least bit warm to me (or any of the kids) while I was growing up; she wasn’t well-liked by my father and uncle. I only went to her home one time. I think I was about 10. Even my grandmother says Mary was always a loner who didn’t get along well with others. But my grandmother and my other grand-aunt, whom I do love very, very much, will miss their sister. I am saddened to see that one more person they’ve known their whole lives is dead. For the last several years, their social calendar has been overflowing with funerals and memorial services.

Mary supposedly said she didn’t want any kind of service when she passed away. I say “supposedly” because the evil side of the family has been lying and manipulating the facts throughout Mary’s rather short (as far as we know) bout with bone cancer. Information has been heavily managed. Loved ones were prevented from seeing Mary in her final days, all, ostensibly, for Mary’s own good. We’re not buying it.

But blocking my grandmother and Nana from seeing and then saying goodbye to their sister is about as evil as it gets. These two women whom I love and admire seem a little frailer for it.

So, the best I can say about Mary’s death is that we think she didn’t suffer long. And we hope that those who were with her during her final days were loving and compassionate and provided her with care that eased her pain. We do not know for sure that this was the case.

Workaday

Thank you, thank you, darling baby, for being so cooperative at my Very Important Client’s Office for the last three days! I take Asher with me for the few days a month that I have to spend working in the Client’s office. So far, he’s been terrific! No fussing, no noise. I’ve found a comfy storeroom close to editorial that nobody goes into and have set up baby camp there. It’s working out great. I’m getting my work done. Client is happy, even exclaiming, “I haven’t even heard that baby!”

So, let’s hope tomorrow goes as well. It’s our last day working at Client’s office until June.

Keep it up, baby. Mama needs the paycheck.

More on Asher: 14 Weeks Old

Asher is turning out to be quite a character.


He’s jolly and fat and extremely mild-mannered. He is growing so quickly. Everywhere he goes he is met with exclamations such as “My, what a chubby baby you are!” and “Oh my God. Look at those cheeks!” Fortunately, he is not nearly as sensitive to these remarks as I am when people comment on the size and shape of my body.

He’s getting sturdier all the time, too. So now he’s really huggable. This naturally leads to nicknames such as pumpkin, blumpkin (Ian came up with that one), teddy bear, and bear cub.

Although Lucas is often too loud, too fast, and too in-your-face for Asher’s comfort, nevertheless, Asher often responds to Lucas’s antics with smiles and drooly grins. Lucas is always gentle when touching Asher, but sometimes doesn’t realize just how much of his 5-year-old weight he’s leaning on the baby. He is learning how to turn down the volume and move a little more slowly around Asher.

Asher’s head is covered in blond fuzz now. Eyes are still dark blue. At first I expected them to turn brown, but now I’m not sure that they will. We will have to wait several more months before we can be certain of their final color.

When he was born, Asher’s hands were long and lean. He had the most graceful fingers I’ve ever seen on a baby. Now his hands are plump little paws. Where he used to have delicate bumpy knuckles, he now has dimples lined up in a row. His hands are more often open to the world, which is a sign of the physical and emotional unfolding that newborns do. He can now hold a small toy if you place it in his grip, but he usually drops it after a moment. Sometimes the toy makes it into his mouth. More often, his thumb and index finger are found there. When he sucks on them he makes the loudest kissy smacks.

So far, Asher’s favorite toy is mommy or daddy’s fingers. He watches them move, tries to capture them in his grip, and gnaws on them whenever possible. In a pinch, my pinkie finger makes an excellent substitute for the pacifier.

Asher has not yet discovered his own toes, but he probably will in the next month or so. He does get a funny look on his face when I tickle his feet or play “piggies” with his toes.

Fuss O’Clock (between 6 p.m. and 8 p.m.) is getting easier. We’ve learned some techniques that help him cope during this time. As much as possible we try to help him sleep at least some of those two hours. He likes being in the sling or carried; whatever you do, don’t set him down and expect him to stay content in the evening. That works fine at other times, but not during “Happy Hour.” For this reason, I almost never even try to make dinner, but instead wait until Ian comes home from work at around 6. It is possible to go out during this time. Somehow, a change of scenery can sometimes stave off a meltdown. As I’ve said before, this is all relatively easy to cope with given how content he his most of the rest of the time.

Pictures




The “Shed” Revealed

On April 28, at around 7 a.m., Lucas peeked out the blinds and exclaimed, “Daddy! The shed turned into a play structure!”

So, at 7:05 a.m., we all trooped outdoors in our pjs to play on it for the first time.

Ian had finished the whole project the previous day, while Lucas was away at the Bs’ house. Instead of bringing him home at 4 p.m., we kept him away all evening until after dark, so that he wouldn’t see it until the following day.

The reveal was a glorious moment. Ian really outdid himself on this project, and impressed the hell out of me. The Domi Lama’s still got it!

We are really grateful that we have the play structure now. It was very expensive, possibly the most expensive b-day present I’ve ever heard of, but worth every penny, I think. (RoRo and my parents all pitched in to help pay for it. Thank you, family!!) I think Lucas and Asher will both get tons of good play out of it. And it has an attractive design, so I don’t mind looking at it in my back yard.

So, thank you, Super Dad. You’re the BEST!!!!


Here’s the picture from Adventure Playsets.


  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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