It’s not like nothing is happening. Life is busy, rich, full of intense logistical and emotional challenges—lots of striving and attempts at recovery before more striving begins. It seems like with all that’s going on, it’s hard to find the moments and energy to write.

I’d like to change that, because I have a sense that time is slipping away. I have guilt that I’m somehow shortchanging us all by not chronicling our days here in this virtual space.

I’ve also found that when my life is challenging or I have thoughts and feelings that are, say, less than charitable, I clam up. Who wants to air their dirty laundry on the Internet? Not me. Now that sounds really dramatic, and like I have a huge beef with someone. I don’t. I just don’t always know how or whether to acknowledge the uncomfortable stuff. In a way, the culture of “positive thinking,” or whatever bullshit they’re calling it these days, has poisoned us, making us unable to tell our truths for fear of appearing a failure. I mean, if you’re blessed (by God), you’re successful—if you’re unsuccessful in any way, you must therefore not be blessed. See the problem? I don’t believe that; I think it’s totally toxic.

So, a tiny picture of what’s going on now:

We’ve just shipped Lucas off to Camp Winthers for his second week of work as a counselor in training (CIT). He worked the week of July 3, too, and unfortunately had a really tough time because of one extremely ill-behaved camper. From what Lucas described, this boy was recalcitrant, obstinate, and rude. He whined, threw rocks, ran away, and generally was as disruptive and uncooperative as he could be the entire time. Counselors and program managers talked to this kid, but they stopped short of booting him home, which is what I think they should have done. Unfortunately, Lucas was charged with dealing with this monster while the other counselors and instructors led the rest of the group and carried on with the art summer camp adgenda. Lucas is a great guy, and he did his very best, but it was extremely frustrating and stressful and more than he was trained to handle. He came home on 7/7 wiped out and angry.

In the intervening ten days, he has been home recovering, and taking a great week-long course in forensics at CSU Sacramento. He seems to have enjoyed it and learned a lot. The class got to analyze a crime scene, isolate DNA, do paternity tests—cool stuff like that. I think it was worthwhile and worth the cost. The program is Summer Academies and it’s just for high school kids.

I’m hoping that this week is wonderful and easier and that he comes home tired but happy and relieved.

Asher is doing his second week at Effie Yeaw Nature Center this week. The camp is wonderful, but as he has done the same program the last two summers, he’s feeling kind of bored. This is especially so because he doesn’t have his posse with him. (I swear, I tried!) Fortunately for him, camp is only in the mornings. Tomorrow is the big, exciting day of rafting on the American River. (That’s really why we signed him up!)

We took a little nature walk last Sunday, after we were reunited. The boys had spend the night before at Grandma’s and Papa’s house and it seemed like a little quality time outdoors would be just the right thing.

Moments like these fill up my heart. In the future, when we’re having disagreements or struggles, I hope that such photos will remind us how much love we have always shared.

We were lucky to come across this handsome young buck.

My eyes were peeled for signs of autumn, which I found in yellowing oak leaves and blue-gray October skies. This was an industrious woodpecker!

Most things are dry and gone to seed; this yellow flower is being watered at the Nature Center.

Love this turkey hen’s bright red wattle.

Yellow leaves, yellow grasses, yellow flowers, and a yellow fungus.

This little doe crossed the path behind us. We got a great look at her as she leaped away.

Other hikers had told us of a big rattlesnake on the trail and three of us tried hard to find it. Asher thought that was a terrible idea. We never saw the snake, but found this great discarded snake skin.

So many beautiful sights to see! More on my Flickr.

Even though we were hungry when we finished, I think our walk was a huge success.

Earlier today, my firstborn was rafting a short way down the American River with his Junior Rangers day camp. It’s kind of stunning to think he’s old enough to be on a raft without me, but … well, he is. How cool is that?

This two-week morning day camp has been wonderful. Lucas and three of his close classmates from Sacramento Waldorf School are in camp together. Here are Lucas and R on  the first day of camp.

And here they are today (with R’s little brother, R) at Ancil Hoffman Park, sitting on a low oak tree branch, soaking wet from rafting and proud as could be for having had such a great adventure!

Today they saw wildlife and enjoyed the bounty of our beautiful river. Last week they went rock climbing and fishing. Yesterday they picked up trash along the river and learned about pollution and its effects on our precious environment. These children are being educated to love and care for what’s left of our natural world in the Sacramento area and beyond. Little brother, R, has been participating in a week-long program for younger children and learning about the water cycle. Normally these programs extend all summer into the early part of August. This year, they end on June 25.

We are big fans of the programs at the Effie Yeaw Nature Center, as I’ve mentioned before. The center is in trouble, and a grassroots group is trying to secure continued funding, which is not in the 2010-11 county parks budget. They are asking for people to write letters and call the county supervisors.

Sacramento County’s website reports: “The Effie Yeaw Nature Center program would be unfunded, and the remaining 4 permanent staff would be subject to lay-off. No funding would be available to operate the nature center and preserve. Programs serving 128,000 participants would be eliminated unless a community based organization could provide those programs and operate the museum and preserve funded by fees, grants, and donations.”

The American River Natural History Association, ARNHA, will be that “community based organization.” They are working to save the nature center and keep it open.

I hope this wonderful community resource will still be around when Asher is old enough for the Nature Detectives and Junior Rangers.