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So, one of the things about this current lifestyle of mine is that I’m basically out of touch with everything besides my immediate deadlines and my son’s behavior-challenge of the moment. Life around here isn’t exactly exciting, it’s domestic, and businessy, and … well, pretty fucking grand.
Some stuff is happening though. You can read about it if you want to.
1. SOCIAL: I’m finally on livejournal. I’m scared to death that I’ll be here every potentially billable hour for which I have childcare and therefore sink rapidly into the rolls of the underemployed. Alas, whatever discipline, and “good study habits,” and will-power I have developed will have to prevail. I’m also afraid that I’ll write poorly and people will laugh because I’m an editor and stuff.
Anyway, I look forward to keeping in touch with you all more.
2. BUSINESS: I just emailed off Invoice # 100! I’ve been in business for myself for 2 years now. (Anniversary was Aug 22.) I feel some unexpected pride when I contemplate that nice, round number: 100. Here’s to success!
3. DOMESTIC: Yesterday afternoon, my daycare lady unexpectedly dumped us–2 business days from the start of the school year. Actually, she closed her doors and will not be having a preschool program this year. It has to do with her getting her own life in order–which is something I generally encourage and respect–but not at the expense of the order of our lives! Now we’re scrambling to find another preschool/daycare placement for Lucas. Yikes!! And yes, I’m pretty mad about it. Not only did she make her decision to quit and NOT CALL ME, but I had to call HER yesterday in the hopes of finding out what’s the story on school starting next week–like, what day does it start? What times? Are there any new rules that I don’t know about, new parent info packets, school supplies or special Waldorfy clothing that must be purchased beforehand?
Ex-teacher grudgingly explained that she had made a really HARD decision not to provide a program this year. It was really HARD for her, because she really LOVES my son. It’s just been so HARD to decide.
Something inside my head pretty much snapped when I heard, for the 8 billionth time this year, how HARD it is for her. I am tired of her sob stories; I have heard too many of them to care anymore. I’ve been so supportive of her and her program–her best advocate. I’ve referred my friends to her school. I’ve offered to help her get the word out to area mothers’ groups. Showed her inexpensive places to advertise her business. Accommodated her occasional schedule hiccups and illnesses without backup. Overlooked her flakiness and attributed it to her etheric Waldorf nature that is essential for small children.
How about this for HARD: It’s HARD to find childcare you can trust. It’s especially HARD when you have high standards like I do. Lucas will never attend a McChildCare.com. It’s HARD to find a good preschool program 2 business days before the start of the school year!!!
Ex-teacher wants to provide closure for Lucas. To give him a gift and let him come and choose a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch they planted together in her yard earlier this summer. I have to decide if I want that for him.
How about this for HARD: I have to explain to my son that the teacher who loves him is not his teacher anymore–that his friends from preschool will be splitting up–that we will no longer be able to walk just down the street together in the cool early mornings to go to school, nor will I be able to carry my sleepy son home in my arms on days when he’s played so long and earnestly that he oversleeps.
For the first time, I have to explain why people sometimes leave us.
That’s HARD.
September 2, 2005 at 11:08 am
Oh honey, I’m sorry. Don’t forget you’ve held up your work day chasing her dog around.