Random Stuff All Jumbled

Work: I’m still working and trying to wrap up a few projects. I have two small articles to write this week, a strat guide to finish, a dissertation chapter to edit, and hopefully another couple of chapters to complete for my long-term projects. I am both glad that there’s stuff to do, and distracted enough to have a hard time buckling down to do it. It’s kinda crazy in my cabeza.

Appointments: Another Birth Center appointment today. Dentist appointment for Lucas today. Dentist appointment for me on Thursday. I’ve been flossing in the hopes that it will counter my pregnancy gingivitis, which, believe it or not, has been linked to preterm labor/birth.

38 weeks, 2 days: I’m starting to want this kid on the outside now. My sleeping sucks and my back hurts. I’m feeling sorry for myself. Ian gave me a great massage last night. I was up only 8 or 9 times last night, though, and each time, my back was stiff. I feel huge and unsexy, but I think it could be worse. More often than not lately, people say nice things to me.

Food: The other mommies at Sac Waldorf School are organizing a team of food preparers to prepare meals for our family after the baby comes. It’s touching and sweet and I’m very grateful. I felt obliged to tell Megan today that Ian is doing 70% of the cooking these days. I didn’t want her to think I’m the overworked homemaker, have-a-baby-in-the-morning-and-have-lunch-on-the-table-for-the-menfolk-an-hour-later kind of girl. I also want the world to know that I have the absolute BEST HUSBAND EVER.

What I know about my new baby: He is a clothes horse. We have AMPLE clothing for baby, ample blankets, ample booties, ample hats, etc.

Money: Lucas’s tuition is paid through the end of the year (thank you, darling!). I cannot express how happy and relieved this makes me feel! My biggest money stress is tuition payments. Having this year paid in full in January frees me to rest and take it easy for a little while after the baby is born.

The Plan: The Beautiful Bs have offered to help out by caring for Lucas if we go into labor during the daytime. Mom is planning on coming over to our place to stay with him if we have to leave during the night.

Birth: I’ve been reading up on birth a bit to remember good positions for labor and delivery. I have a great team assembled: Same midwife and same doula and same husband as I had the last time. I’m optimistic about the outcome. I feel strong for having made it through this experience unmedicated once before. I should be able to do it again. Ruth says that my body will remember what to do, even if my brain does not remember many details. All those labor “techniques” (specific breathing patterns, supine birth positions, strenuous pushing, etc.) are too rigid and too much designed to help others cope with the birth process and their convenience. It’s really not about them. We’ll have a tub available. I hope to labor at home for as long as possible, staying active and on my feet, and I hope that I’ll know when it’s the appropriate time to go to the Birth Center.

Support: My friends are all pulling for us; I feel their good wishes and hope all around me. I’m grateful to be so blessed to have a community like this one. Thank you, sisters. Thank you, friends.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

My back hurts! STUPID BABY. My lower back, especially. I get stiff so quickly nowadays. Even waking up in the nighttime to pee is painful. My back stiffens up while I’m sleeping torqued on my side (for those measly 40-70 minutes at a time), and then sitting up is painful, standing is painful, and walking those first few steps to the bathroom is painful. After a few steps, I’m ok again, but jeez! Standing and walking for any length of time is also challenging. And so is sitting at my desk.

Minigolf and Roseville

Today we took Lucas to play minigolf in Roseville. He wanted to do something special, and soon enough, we’re going to be cooped up inside a lot with the baby, so what the hay? It was a nice day, but colder and windier in Roseville than here in Fair Oaks. The spray off the water fountains was chilly! Lucas blasts through the golf course with a kind of frenetic mania. He only lost one ball, though. We tried to avoid the surly gang of teenage boys on the course, but somehow, they managed to bust through our game in that rude, I’m-exercising-my-limited-power-by-being-an-asshole kind of way. The arcade was icky to me, but fun for Ian and Lucas. I found myself thinking nasty thoughts about the other parents I saw there (shame on them for encouraging this type of play in this type of environment!), till I realized that I brought my kid to the arcade, too. Eew.

Ian’s right, there are a lot of tubby guys with goatees in Roseville. We saw quite a few at the arcade with their kids, and even more at the baby store. We’ve now aquired a hamper, a pad for changing diapers atop our bureau for in the middle of the night, a diaper pail, and a couple of other things. Alas, there are no “bed in a bag” sets of the lion and the little red bird. I can find lions, but they always come with elephants, giraffes, and zebras. Ian says that’s what I get for ordering off the menu again.

I’m so glad I have this mural to come home to! The project is allowing me to obsess over something other than the fact that we’re WAITING FOR BABY. Now I know why I waited until the very end of this pregnancy to start it.

More Pics of Mural Progress

Lucas Changes

It’s been a while since I recorded some of what’s going on in Lucas’s development. It’s been an exciting time lately. He’s acting more grown up and pleasant some of the time, and more obnoxious at other times.

The Tidoo stories continue unabated. She remains his best friend, baby sister, and partner in crime. Tidoo’s age changes about five times per day. Sometimes she’s a newborn infant, other times she is a grown up astronaut. Sometimes she’s 3 years old, other times she’s 9. Tidoo pretty much knows everything, has done everything, can do everything. If Tidoo tells Lucas something, there’s really no convincing him otherwise. Together they fly airplanes, go on safari, ride bikes, drive trains, visit foreign countries, and explore the galaxy. Tidoo got a doll cradle for Christmas, so sometimes she sleeps there. More often than not, however, she still sleeps with Lucas, and frequently ends up in our bed in the early morning when he comes visiting.

Lucas is very excited about his baby brother coming. He says he can’t wait. My grandmother bought a stuffed bear for the new baby; it can record a short message and play it back. Presumably, this is something the toy maker thinks babies like. To me, it’s pretty awful. To Lucas, this device disguised as a teddy bear is a really a walkie-talkie. He talks into it and records messages that he regards as direct communications with the baby in my womb. He usually says some variation on this: “Hi Baby! I love you! I hope you come out of there. … Fart, fart, fart, fart!” The message usually ends with maniacal laughter. Sometimes he throws in his favorite nonsense word of late: “Faguga!” Lucas thinks Faguga would be a great name for our baby.

He still really likes school, but since he had two weeks off for Christmas vacation, he’s kind of bummed about having to return to our normal weekday schedule. He claims he doesn’t like to be rushed in the morning. We have a calendar now and we marked family days and school days on the calendar. I know that as soon as he gets to school, he has a great time. But he claims he doesn’t want to go. Frankly, I don’t blame him. I have always hated leaving the house before 9 a.m. myself, especially when it’s cold outside.

Over the break, Ian got to spend eleven days at home. He and Lucas totally bonded during this time. They built stuff, put together new toys, did projects, and made about a billion things out of Legos. I was very happy to see Ian relax and Lucas warm to his dad so completely. They now have all kinds of interests in common and enjoy each other’s company. This is encouraging, considering I will soon have my hands full with an infant.

Last night Lucas told me that I was the “best, best, best, best mommy in the world. In the whole world!” That was nice to hear. He says that his favorite time of day is bedtime, when we cuddle together and sing songs and he gets to put his hand down my shirt. He usually falls asleep shortly after the lights go out because he’s not napping in the afternoons any more. Every once in a blue moon I can coax him to nap with me (mostly because I need the rest). I still love falling asleep with his little body curled up to mine. I love how he smells of energy and sunshine and mud.

My little darling is fairly obsessed with weapons and army stuff lately. It has me feeling dismayed and disappointed. We bought him a wooden biplane kit for Christmas. He built it with Ian over the vacation, and together they decided to paint it like the Red Baron. This brought up all kinds of research into fighter planes and WWI. It looks super cool and is a sturdy toy, but it bothered me how much talk of war it spurred.

He’s building Legos into tanks. He talks about bombs and bullets, guns and shooting. I know that it’s probably normal, but I don’t like it at all. I’m trying not to give this stuff power or to shame him for being interested in things that mommy doesn’t approve of. Honestly, the kid never stops talking! So when he’s talking about all this stuff that bothers me, it gets on my nerves pretty quickly.

If This Time Were Last Time …

This baby would be on his way! Like, we’d be laboring now. Today’s the day (or, really, tomorrow at 3:45 a.m.) in the pregnancy that Lucas was born: 37 weeks, 3 days (19 days before his due date). Except it was May. And I was 29. And it was Lucas. And this is a different baby. And now I’m 34. But you know what I mean.

My midwife told me not to hold my breath for another early baby. Which is good. And bad. And it is what it is.

Happy Birthday, Parnasus!

May you enjoy your day in the sun, your travels, and your homecoming!

Pics of Mural In Progress

These two show the watercolor background.

This picture shows how the acrylics are going on over the top of the watercolors. I plan to do a lot of shading and texturizing later on. Right now I’m getting the base colors on the wall.

A Coincidence Called Carmentalia

People gathered on Sunday, January 14th, to throw a party for us and the newest Wilson; I already wrote a little about that.

I was looking in one of my books and found this info about a Roman festival of children, fertility, foresight, and birth that was celebrated on this date.

Carmentalia: January 14th

“Carmenta, the Roman goddess of prophesy and birth joins our new year festivities by teaching us the value of preparedness and productivity. She likes vegetal offerings… Her magical, prophetic nature can be seen in her name, specifically the root word carmen, meaning a spell or charm in the form of a song.

“In ancient Rome, today was the second to last day of a five-day-long festival honoring Carmenta. Pregnant women offered her rice for a safe delivery, while those wishing to have children ate raspberries to internalize her fertility. Romans considered this an excellent day to make predictions for a child.”

All in all, it was a perfect day upon which to have our community gather and bless our baby with all the good things life has to offer. I hope the prophesies of grace, bounty, goodness, friendship, love, and laughter all come true for him. I offered up some yummy rice to Carmenta that evening.

Thanks again.

37 Weeks, 2 days

Although the average length of pregnancy is around 40 weeks, we have officially reached “full-term” status. Lucas was born at 37 weeks and 3 days. This doesn’t really have any bearing on this pregnancy or serve as a predictor, but it’s interesting to note, and it has me thinking.

This past weekend, my darling friends threw a small party for me at my mother’s house. Thank you No-No! It was fun and low-key. Ian and I didn’t want a “shower” per se, as we really don’t need much stuff for this new baby and our lovely friends should spend their hard-earned money on themselves. Instead, we asked for baby blessings and forced people to write them down in a blank book for our baby. There were no degrading baby shower games, such as races to change a dolly’s diaper or guessing how many inches around I am right now—Thank God! Instead, there was yummy food, goodwill, friendly chatting, homemade pumpkin pie (Thank you, Grl_fury!), and we got to distribute long-burning “church” candles in the hopes that our community will burn a candle for us while we labor and send their prayers for a safe, strong, short, normal, nonmedicated, Birth Center birth out into the universe. I love the thought of my friends and family burning dozens of candles for us while we work to bring this baby into the world. The party that helped kindle some excitement in me and spurred some good daydreaming about the future when we have our second child. I’m deeply touched and grateful.

I also got to show off the WONDERFUL pregnancy/family photos that Frostee and T8 took for us a couple of weeks ago. When I have digital pics, I’ll post some.

We’ve been working on all kinds of nesting projects around the house since Christmas. Some of them are directly related to readying our space for a baby, some are just things we’ve been putting off for a long time. January is always a good time to reorg, throw out old stuff, make space, etc.

* bedroom curtain is hung
* bedroom closet cleaned, with neat new stacking drawers to store all the clothes that were strewn haphazardly on a shelf
* artwork hung on bedroom walls
* new bedroom clothes dresser (Xmas gift from mom and dad) is stocked
* old full-sized bed in baby’s room is gone
* books are purged
* baby crib is built
* cloth diapers are washed and ready
* newborn and 3-6 month clothes are washed and ready
* new clothes dresser for baby (Xmas gift from RoRo) is stocked
* arms-reach co-sleeper is built and ready for baby in our bedroom
* infant car seat has been dragged out of the garage. It needs a cleaning and then installation

The mural painting has begun. I posted this picture once before, but here it is again.

I’ve got most of the background watercolors in place and am starting to fill in the acrylics on top. It’s going to take a long time to complete the painting, but I’m enjoying the project immensely. I have an association with mural painting and going into labor because that’s what happened with Lucas: I finished painting his mural and went into labor that same day. Maybe it’s the squatting to reach the low spots?

  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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