Better Now: This and That
I’m feeling a bit better now. Thanks to those who have listened to my bellyaching lately. (Especially Ian!)
I ran at the gym yesterday: 28 minutes running on the treadmill, which is less than I had been used to doing, but then I had to take a 13 day break with the sick kids. By then end of it my knees hurt—the front, outer parts underneath my kneecaps. I figure I’ll have to work back up to the 45 minute runs again. I also have to forgive myself for taking the break from my exercising. (This is the part I’m not very good at.)
My boys are healthier. They still have lingering coughs, but they’re doing much better and acting more normal. I always feel so stressed out when they are sick; there is so little I can do to help them.
My parents have returned from their much-too-long-this-year trip. They were gone the same amount of time this summer as every summer, but somehow this vacation dragged on for me. I missed my mom a lot. I can tell her all my frustrations and rage and she loves me anyway. She’s been there. She’s not one to sugar-coat this whole Motherhood bag; it’s not easy and she knows it. There are very few June Cleaver moments. Talking to her helps a lot.
Yesterday we took Lucas to his play group date and stayed to swim in the pool for a couple of hours. It was nice being around the other mommies and kids. It was nice watching Lucas play and run and be crazy with some of his school chums. Two of the mommies said basically, “Oh, yeah. You’re in a really tough place right now. Eighteen months is hard, especially with the second child.” They’ve both been there and done it.
Two and a half weeks of Lucas’s summer vacation remain. I think things will feel a little better balanced when he goes back, even though there will be a big adjustment. (At least, I hope so.) Approximately half of the kids and parents in the class will be new to me. I’m looking forward to the social element there, making new friends and reconnecting with others. I’ve felt too isolated this summer. I’m glad I organized that play group and that Lucas participated in camps, or we might not have seen much of people.
Work has picked up a little and the juggling act has increased in difficulty. Worrying about when I’ll work is superior to worrying about whether I’ll get work.
Saw some friends last night. Their beautiful faces, warm hugs, and laughter were just what I needed. And that bit with Ian in the moonlight afterward? Aces.
August 14, 2008 at 5:23 pm
When Lucas and I were riding the pedal bike around he casually mentioned he was going to start first grade soon. It was such an adult way of bringing it up too. There wasn’t the electric, manic, kid-excitment. Just “It’ll be a good winter for me. I’ll be in first grade once the summer’s over.” Cool as a cucumber. Though with a little prodding it was clear he was excited.
August 14, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Thanks sweetie, I enjoy our amateur astronomy dates as well.
And I am sorry that this summer has been so rough.
August 15, 2008 at 9:16 am
I just wanted to say I’m glad you’re getting a little relfection/validation from the other parents too that this is a crazy time, and it’s not just you. Love you darling.