We received the acceptance letter yesterday. It says that the Waldorf school is pleased to offer Lucas a place in the first grade next fall. There was never any real doubt that he would get in, but I’m happy it is now official. We already know about half of the families that will be in Lucas’s class—a class he will be together with for grades 1 through 8. Most of the rest of the children who will make up his class will come from the other kindergarten class at his school, which means that Lucas already knows them, but Ian and I don’t yet. 

I know they are actively interviewing candidates for the teaching position that will hopefully take Lucas all the way through the eighth grade. It’s an extensive process. At our family Easter celebration, I learned from my cousin Jenna, who is in the master’s Education program at Sacramento State University that one of her classmates is up for the job of Lucas’s teacher. Jenna says this woman is very competant and Waldorf trained. Who knows? My curiousity is really high right now.

To NoNoSays, who has been my inspiration more times than I can count, who has held my hand through some fucked-up shit, who has taught me that strong is sexy and that I absolutely can, who has been there for me every time I’ve ever asked her to—even for a mysteriously awful, hopefully-never future catastrophe, 

Darling, I wish you an amazing birthday of happiness and glory, grace and revelry. I love you.

To Frostee, whose creativity knows no bounds, who can have fun anywhere at any time, who’s thoughtful and giving, who’s brave in the face of pain and adversity, who has captured for me priceless family moments, and who deserves health and wellness as well as security and fun,

Sweetpea, I hope your birthday is stupendous and ridiculous in that special way that you love. I love you.

xoxoxo 

Happy Birthday to our dear Tox  and our dear Heff. Their individual ingenuity, brilliance, and loyalty are unique on this planet. I am honored to have been able to call them my friends for nearly 20 years. I hope your birthdays are joyful, relaxing, and enlivened by bevies of hot women. 

xoxo

It has been snowing steadily for days. In the almost-week that we’ve been here, I think we’ve received at least three feet of snow. It is both inspiring and challenging. Somehow the snowy landscape makes me feel contemplative. And hungry, but whatever.Our lovely friends kittiliscious, her man J, and mrplanet4 left this morning to make their way home. Ian and I have decided that it will be better for all of us if we take an extra day to wait out this big storm and not try to transport two bored little boys over the summit and home again while fighting weather and traffic the whole time. I’m happy with 2-hour drives home; I’m not at all crazy about 4-hour drives. I keep staring out the window and marveling at how ethereal the woods look. The light is bluish and it makes the evergreens look nearly black. Both the sky and the ground are the same brilliant white. Heavy pillows of snow burden every limb and branch. The palette is completely monochromatic. The road is invisible, despite the snowplow’s several daily visits. Two-foot icicles hang from the eaves; their shape is spiraled, like unicorn horns. Inside we are snug and warm. Our kitchen is well-stocked with food, so we could easily stay another several days if we needed to. We have everything to make our stay comfortable, including a clothes washer and dryer and dishwasher. We just ran out of vodka, however.  We have passed many happy hours this week playing in the snow, taking walks or “trudges,” playing games, drawing, sewing, creating toys, and reading. Lucas was thrilled to have our friends join us, for they provided a patient (sometimes eager) audience for him. He strove to impress them with his skills, his expertise, his humor, and his antics. I am amazed at his ability to interact with adults. He can be suave: “Kat, you could come and sit beside me, if you want.” He can be charming: “Justin, that was so fun riding on the saucer yesterday. It was awesome! Do you want to pull me along like that now?” He can act so grown up: “Don’t disturb me right now. I’m doing important homework and I can’t be disturbed.” Asher was nervous when we first arrived, but has settled into these surroundings beautifully. I was very happy that he hasn’t been especially attracted to the gas stove in the middle of the main room as it’s been on almost constantly and it’s very hot. It took him several days, but yesterday he realized that he was capable of climbing the stairs all the way to the top floor where we’ve all been sleeping. He was so proud of himself when he reached the top landing, he clapped for himself and squealed. Since then, he’s done it a bunch of times, and I wonder what it must be like to crawl up stairs like that: What if I encountered a staircase like this in the same scale? Would I want to climb it over and over again? Every new accomplishment delights him. He is learning at every moment. Asher is not walking yet, but is beginning to “creep” along while leaning on the furniture. He is fascinated with the snow that he can see outside, but is not too keen on touching it. He despises his snowsuit, but seems to like the snowflakes falling on his face.  Today when we went out to play, Asher seemed to be more comfortable in the snow, sitting in it and batting at it. There’s so much powder I can easily imaging putting him down and losing him in a drift. We have our Ergo carrier with us; obviously a stroller is pretty much useless. But man, with all the snow gear on us and on Asher, he’s really hard to lug around. For a brief time we were able to put Lucas on a saucer and Asher on Lucas and tow them along the road. We received a few dazzling smiles from both of them as a reward for our effort. Lucas is very brave, even when he slips and falls on the ice. He enjoys saucering a lot. It’s clear that his smaller body must work harder to plow through the snow drifts. He presses on because he wants to squeeze as much fun out of the experience as possible. His face glows with melted snowflakes and rosy cheeks. But when he tires, emotions run high and he demands hot cocoa. I am so happy that we can spend time in this glorious landscape and give him this experience.  

We are up at the cabin in South Lake Tahoe right now. Have been since Tuesday afternoon. It’s been totally lovely—snow keeps falling and blanketing the world. Lucas was a little sick for a while, but he’s better now. Some beautiful friends have joined us for the weekend. They’re all outside playing at the moment. I’m stuck inside because Asher’s napping. S’OK though because he’s sweet. I’ll post more about our week up here later on.

I’ve done a bit of work on and off this week, but nothing too strenuous. I’m trying to figure out what direction I want my career to move in. I’m pondering some possibilities while wondering where my next freelance gig will come from. I can tell you this: I like being unplugged from a corporate schedule and I have a hard time imagining ever going back to one. Working in the mountains, when I choose to, sure beats a daily commute to Cubesville. 

It’s funny when the winds of change blow into town. So much of my life is carefully circumscribed right now. It’s hard to know what is just a momentary wish and what might be a deeper yearning for real change.

Work at the magazine this week went well. I was brave and gracious. I talked to all my (ex-) coworkers about the changes at the magazine and my services as proofreader being discontinued. At least to my face everyone was sorry about it and regretful. The editor promises me that I’m the one they’ll call back when the economics are better. She referred to having me working on the magazine a “luxury.” Probably what will happen is that the in-house people will be asked to work more and harder. An editorial employee who is my friend also got cut: She still has a job, but they demoted her to receptionist (and canned the receptionist they had) and cut my friend’s pay. A few other people in different departments were affected (i.e., let go). They have also cut their freelance budget by what sounds to me like a big number, but given that I have no idea what the budget was or what it is now, it’s hard for me to say.

So, we’ll see. I guess they gotta do what they gotta do to stay healthy and weather the economic changes in the region. I must say though, it’s kind of ironic (correct word choice?) that I consistently read about all the wonderful, progressive, exciting things that are happening in this town in the pages of this magazine, which is presently reacting to an economic downturn. Anyway, Monday will be my last day there.

I’ve come to find the silver lining in this change: It’s kinda hard on Asher to have me leave him with a sitter or grandma for 3 to 4 days in a row, when the rest of the month he’s with me constantly. He has survived, of course, but by Friday evening, it was clear that he wanted and needed some mama time. Now I won’t have to do that anymore. I will still need babysitting, but I can arrange it on my own terms and hopefully establish a more consistent rhythm for him—one that he can actually get used to—that doesn’t have 27 days between sets of sitter days. As he is coming into The Great Separation Anxiety Stage, this will be easier on him.

Last Thursday, my father turned 62. That is hard to believe. In my mind, he is still 40. He probably will always be that age in my mind. A friend recently lost her father to cancer. He was older than my dad is—a doctor who practiced medicine up until his end. I can see how hard losing her last parent has been on her. Her plight has inspired some morbid thoughts.

I am thoroughly enjoying the drawing classes that Ian and I are taking on Thursday nights. The teacher is teaching in a loose, intuitive way, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. But the true gift of the class is that we 1) leave our home and kids and assorted real-life distractions, 2) go to a studio/gallery where we are surrounded by art and things to draw, and 3) there are two and a half glorious hours with nothing else to do except drink tea. We are hoping to continue the classes for the next couple of months, or for as long as our babysitters are willing to watch our kidlings. Ian has really caught the bug. He’s been practicing at home, which is wonderful to see because while he’s drawing, he’s not worrying. I love this guy so much. I hate to see him worried. It has been very good for us to have this time together and share this artistic pursuit. I can’t wait to paint!

My brother and his girlfriend, Courtney, recently got back from a vacation in Mexico. It sounds like they had a super time. I think this is Jonathan’s first serious vacation in years. I’m happy for them both. I just love seeing them together and it is my sincerest hope that they continue to make each other happy.

We spent a lovely couple of hours with friends last night. It was refreshing and made me so happy to see them.

Asher’s party yesterday was great! I think everyone had a pretty good time, considering there was no pole or booze and my great granny, great aunt, mom, and dad were all there chaperoning.  Actually, I kinda meant to serve champagne, but then I forgot. About 26 people were here, I think, which is a helluva tribute to a little person who can’t even talk yet. Thank you to everyone who took time out of your busy lives to witness the anniversary of my little man and our survival of Kid Two: Year One. It means a lot to me that our community loves our sons. Thank you!

The food we served worked out pretty well, I thought. The punch was a hit with the kiddos. I tried to get all Martha on the birthday cake, which kinda sorta worked out, but kinda sorta failed. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I baked an Apple Hill cake and sprinkled it with powdered sugar. But not before I placed atop the cake paper twigs and leaves that Lucas and I cut out. Then we powdered it, so we had a negative image of the branches when we took the paper off. I decorated the branches with marzipan flowers that I made myself. This is the funny part: It took me three tries to create decent flowers. They caught fire when I went to brown them in the oven on the first try. The wax paper the flowers were sitting on was too close to the broiler, so actually it was the paper that burned. On the second try, I let Lucas distract me in conversation for exactly one minute and the flowers burned again. The third try worked OK, and they went on the cake. Lucas and I had decorated a special beeswax candle with modeling beeswax: It had a yellow star and a little toddler boy holding a single, giant flower. Lucas painstaikingly molded each flower petal for the candle.

Asher was completely distraught when we tried to feed him birthday cake. The vanilla ice cream made him cry. Poor baby, it was a very stimulating day and he didn’t seem to like it much when everyone’s attention turned toward him.

I only took a handful of photos, but I think my dad took some. Also, Tate and Elisa arrived and took some family shots of us, which I am excited to see.

We have a ton of thank you cards to write. Asher received plenty of gifts: some of which will go and live at the grandparents’ houses for when he spends time over there. That’s just fine with me. Some clothes will go into the closet until he grows into them, as will at least one toy rated for 3-year-olds. 

I love Dr. Atkins.

We are 1 month and 3 weeks into our low-carb diet. We indulged in extra carbs on Christmas day, but then went right back to it. I have lost 14 pounds. I have met my first goal. I would love to lose about 5 more pounds, but am very, very satisfied with my progress. If those last few pounds come off gradually but steadily, I’ll be thrilled. We are no longer on induction, but are trying not to eat too many carbs in any given day. 

Ian’s really done well. I won’t reveal his stats, but let’s just say they are impressive. He has really taken to our new way of eating and says he feels fantastic. What’s more, he has been inspired to try new recipes and new foods. His cooking is wonderful and he cooks for me all the time! We have recently enjoyed salmon with hollandaise sauce; scallops with leeks and spinach; omelets with bacon, sour cream, and green onions; steaks; chicken stir fry; and much more. Go Ian, go Ian!

I’ve been walking more and am thinking about investigating a personal trainer.

We just returned from a lovely reunion of the core friends of the Working Moms’ Group that I was a part of and organized for two years when Lucas was a toddler. Deidre hosted it at her place and Kelly and Ambrosia, Karen and Toby, and Crystal and Kayla attended, as well as the four of us. Deidre has a 4-year-old (Alex) and a new baby (Jace) who is 9 months old. It was surprisingly fun to get together again, perhaps it was because of the long hiatus since our last gathering, or perhaps it was because it didn’t have the obligation of being an official Moms’ Group meeting. Or maybe it was because the whole idea of the Sunday supper was Deidre’s and not mine, and I didn’t have to bang a drum to get everybody on board. It just fell together beautifully and effortlessly. 

Dear Parnasus,

Happy belated birthday, my dear! Sorry I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday on your actual birthday. I hope your special day was wonderful, in spite of the usual demands of house, kids, job, chores, etc. You are a ray of sunshine even when the world is dim and gray. Thank you for all that you do. You walk in beauty through each day, giving and creating safety and love. I admire you so much for that. I hope your party is fabulous! You deserve it!

Your friend,
Sara