He has amazed me again.

Despite his talk of playground “wars” and “battles,” despite recently being advanced to “third leader” of the “team” and functioning as the team’s “policeman” and “guard,” my 7.5-year-old son is only gradually transforming from soft, sweet little boy to capable tough guy. Parents often speak of the phenomenon of kids moving two steps forward, one step back, and I see this in Lucas. Sometimes he is macho, other times, vulnerable and … “young.” My tough guy channeled his considerable developing skills into a softer direction for a project that he conceived himself.

Lucas started thinking ahead to Christmas the other day and decided that he wanted to make a lovey doll for Asher. He took out his sewing kit (a Christmas gift from Ian and me two years ago), his felt, and scissors and went to work. He politely asked for wool roving to stuff his doll’s body, a short tube of felt. Then he made an arm, stuffed it, and sewed it on to the body. Then another. By then I was feeling pretty impressed because he was sticking with the project and doing it without help.

A busy day went by, and Lucas asked me if I would help him make the doll’s head: He didn’t have the right material in his fabric stash. Last night, I dug out more wool and some pinkish jersey knit fabric and together we made the head. (This is the only part I helped with.) That’s all we had time for before bed, though.

As I was putting Lucas to bed, he said, “I really want to take my doll to show and tell tomorrow.” I expressed concern that we probably wouldn’t have time to finish it before school in the morning, but he could certainly work on it over vacation and then take it to the next show-and-tell day. I gushed over how great he was doing, and how I’m sure his teacher and classmates would be pleased to see what he made.

When I first laid sleepy eyes on Lucas this morning, he proudly showed me how he had already sewed the doll’s head onto the body, and given it blue eyes with his embroidery thread. I think it was five minutes after 7 then. Within another 15 minutes, he had stitched on a smiley red mouth and some blond wool roving for hair. At breakfast, he announced, “My doll’s name is Willow Bean.”

I think Lucas is so proud of his doll that he is probably going to keep Willow Bean for himself and not give the doll to Asher for Christmas. I really don’t blame him a bit.

How my son spent his Sunday morning.

Paper, cardboard, string, and cello tape sculpture of a horse and wagon by 7-year-old Lucas.

I’ve been soooooooo busy with work! A textbook that I’ve been working on for a long, long time is now it the final stages. I’m reviewing page proofs now and the schedule is very aggressive. I’ll be burning the midnight oil up to November 23. Trouble is, I’m tired. The last full day off I had was October 4. I’m just not as good at working late into the night as I used to be. Hello, 37.

It’s OK, though, because I have a vacation coming. We’ll be going to Capitola over Thanksgiving and I’m working really hard now in the hopes that I won’t have to take any work along with me. Working this hard now will turn out to be an investment in my sanity later. This is the plan, anyway.

A new Big Project is starting up for a Big Publisher and it’s one I’ll be working on through May of 2010. I have yet to figure out what I’ll be doing exactly, but I’m glad to have it. I’ll be working on the creation of a web-based product instead of a book. I’m excited to have the opportunity to expand my skills!

I recently finished a computer book edit, which was a great book and a good project, except for the lesson it taught me about Time vs. Fee. I choose to feel grateful for the learning opportunity.

On deck for today is this motto: “Work like crazy!” I am hoping someday soon the day’s motto will be “Play like crazy!”

On November 1, Lucas just turned 7 and a half. I’m finding I’m feeling more relaxed around him now than I was six months ago, which I think is because the sharp edges of his emotional states seem to have gradually rounded off. He is still more “feeling” at times that I’m comfortable with, but he’s not lashing out in huge outbursts indiscriminately anymore. Many emotions are easy to deal with, but some are hard and have a big impact on those around him. This is a huge relief.

Now, we are seeing a Lucas who is more confident, more comfortable, and more engaged. He likes being in school and having all those friends around him. He likes learning new things and his mind is an amazing sponge. His reading is coming along, and we find we can no longer spell words we would rather he not hear because he can often decode them!

We have been treated this fall to some wonderful tales about saints, and Lucas has been working really hard in his Math main lesson block. I’m told that the children are earning their golden Math Crowns by counting, and then they earn jewels to go on their crowns when they successfully recite their times tables.  Lucas has earned four jewels for his crown by reciting his twos, threes, fives, and tens. This is awesome to me. Today we had a lovely discussion of division and prime numbers, although he didn’t call them that. “You know, Mom, 3 cannot be divided, but 4 can. Divide 4 and you get 2 and 2. 5 can’t be evenly divided. You would get 3 on one side and 2 on the other.” He proceeded to break down every number up to 15, determining whether each could be evenly divided.

Tonight Lucas recited his birthday verse to us for the first time. As is customary in Waldorf schools, his teacher created a verse for each child in the class, who practices it and recites it in front of the other children. The verse is meant to speak about the child, but also to the child to encourage and nurture in the child a quality or talent.

This is the verse she created for Lucas. I wept happy tears when I heard it.

Let us make a thing of beauty

That hungry souls may feast upon.

Let us make a thing of beauty

That long may live when we are gone.

Whether it be wood or marble,

Poetry, music, or art,

Let us make a thing of beauty

To help set man apart.

He proudly told me that his verse is the only one that mentions beauty.

My mother's handmade socks for Asher and Lucas.

Apart from reading more than a hundred books, vacationing on the East Coast, prepping for her fall semester Humanities classes at American River College, sewing with me, and who knows what else, my mom knitted my kids nineteen pairs of socks! Nineteen!

She knows how much Asher loves to play in the clean laundry, so she saved them all up until last night, when she gently dumped them on Asher’s head to watch him squeal with glee and roll around in them. He played in the socks for about 20 minutes, throwing them around, playing fetch (as a puppy dog), and wrestling in them.

Isn’t her work beautiful? She is so talented in so many areas. I hope that I can learn to do this someday. She uses four tiny needles to knit socks.

She told me she used up a bunch of yarn from her stash. Some socks are made from several different yarns, which gives them a playful, unique character. Perfect for my playful boys.

I took these photos this morning. The sock game was just as fun as it was last night!

Welcome to Asher’s Store. He has lots of merchandise, but also something of an inventory problem.

He uses his “computer” to work all the time. “Don’t touch my stuff!” he tells us one minute. The next, he says “Come buy something in my store and pay me money.”  Because of the computer he is able to take credit cards.

He carries a wide selection of tools and books, and random gizmos of all sorts. Some items cost 36 cents. Others cost “40-85-shs dollars.”

“Sit down and pay me money.”

It’s good that he has the latest in price scanners. It makes his service so excellent. You can bet I’m a repeat customer.

The virus that has plagued and obsessed my mother for the last … um … 20 years seems finally to have infected me. I spent my “break” moments today surfing the Internet for fabric. Yeah. One hundred percent cotton fabric. I shopped on Etsy and it was fun. I fell in love with designers David Walker and Michael Miller.

Here is Michael Miller’s “Sprockets.”

I have a small stash on the way to me!

“House School” is the delight of the moment. I gather from chatting with another second-grade dad, that it’s not just Lucas’s new play routine. Sounds like lots of second graders are playing school at home, teaching lessons, leading circle time, and saying verses. It manifested for us at home just three days ago. Ian and Asher were the first pupils to attend “House School,” as it’s known here. They had so much fun and raved about it. Lucas was thrilled to have found a game that the whole family could play—especially given that he gets to be in charge of it!

Last night I got to participate in House School a little, sitting in on a drawing lesson with my three boys. Lucas had cut out paper dragon shapes and we all got to color our dragons. I thought it was beautifully fitting for the feast day of St. Michael, which Wikipedia told me is traditionally held on September 29. Our four colorful dragons now adorn our Nature Table.

Something about this time of year has me feeling pulled in two directions in time. I’m wistful about our lazy summer evenings, which featured walks through our neighborhood, slow outdoor dinners with friends (regardless of the day of the week), sleeping until the sunlight streamed boldly through our bedroom window. I’m also feeling wistful about the little people I used to live with: Lucas as a younger boy, Asher as a baby.

At the same time, I’m eagerly looking forward to the joys of the autumn season: a trip to Apple Hill, the school Harvest Faire, our Thanksgiving Away (which hopefully will happen in November). I’m looking forward to some changes that will hopefully make us happier. The boys are growing and their capacity to adapt is greater. We’re thinking about moving them into the same bedroom together later this fall for several reasons: to promote their bonding, to bring their sleeping schedules into alignment with each other, to allow Asher to detach a little more from his nighttime dependence on us, and to allow me to set up shop in Lucas’s bedroom. I long for an office with a door again!

I also have lots of groovy, creative projects in mind, and keep envisioning more. I went to a craft night last night with other school parents and we sat around crafting, drinking wine, and chatting and it was lots of fun. These people are seriously creative! I worked on needle-felting mice for the Children’s Store at the Harvest Fair. I’m hoping to try my hand a soap-making soon, and I’ve been looking forward to taking a drop spinning class with a local teacher/Waldorf mama extraordinaire: Jennifer Tan of Syrendell.

I picked up a new editing project yesterday. You really never know where work is going to come from! This one came to me via my godmother and looks like it will be low-key, with a relaxed pace. It’s time to try lining up some winter projects. I’m pretty well booked through November-December. Staying on top of the marketing is always challenging and yet always worthwhile. I would like to add some new clients into the fold; some new regulars would be lovely.

Triumphs of imagination and ingenuity are worthy of celebration. Robots are cool, man!

It is now the end of Week 12 of summer vacation. Week 12. Twelve. Did you hear me? TWELVE.

One more week (and a long weekend) to go.

I think, all in all, I’m in better shape than I was this time last year. This time last year I was ready to throw myself under a bus. Seriously. It wasn’t pretty.

During this circle around the sun, we have had a good summer, a busy summer, and one with more balance. Together we have had

·         evening walks

·         feasts of summer fruits

·         barbecues

·         creek play

·         rambling in the woods

·         swimming in lakes, rivers, and backyard pools

·         a trip to San Francisco and Oakland

·         a zoo visit

·         museum visits

·         glorious day-long brunches with friends at home

I’ve had plenty work to keep me occupied; it keeps my brain from turning to mush and eases my career worries.

Lucas and Asher have been occupied more this summer, too. I adore my children and think they are brilliant and fascinating (see this blog for evidence), but I know that we all benefit from having experiences away from one another. I don’t claim to have achieved balance in parenting/work, but it is definitely a major goal. Something I continue to strive for.

Asher has made friends and looks forward to playing with his kids now at Ring-A-Rosies preschool. He has even made it through a handful of full days, when I didn’t pick him up until 4 p.m. due to serious deadlines, and he napped pretty well on a little mat like the other kids.

Lucas has had a bunch of wonderful experiences with summer day camps and other activities (like pottery and soccer). Some weren’t so great (mainly the Fair Oaks Recreation and Park District day camp due to the “Thriller” incident) and we probably won’t be trying those again. But others were awesome. He is hoping to do more of the Science Adventures camps and Aquatics camps next year. The Effie Yeaw nature camps, though only a half-day, are lots of fun and Lucas feels really comfortable there. Plus he gets to hike the trails in the American River Parkway. He has done some amazing art projects that I wouldn’t have even considered doing with him because they are outside my experience. I wish that the less expensive camps had worked out to be winners; naturally it was the more expensive camps that Lucas really took to.

Next week, there is no day care. I’ll have to beg, borrow, and steal moments in which to work, when others can run herd on my little darlings. Grandma? Grandma?

I just can’t help but feel, now that kids all over town are back in school, that perhaps 13 weeks off during the summer might be a little excessive. It is very intense living with a choleric 7-year-old and a 2-and-a-half-year-old toddler!

Especially if one is just the tiniest, wee bit choleric, oneself.