Dear Ian

Good morning, my love. Happy 11th Anniversary!

Eleven years ago today, we were getting ready to walk down a grassy aisle, lined with friends and family. We were getting ready to speak the vows that we’d each written, to hear the magical words pronounced by our priest that would cement the bond we already felt with each other.

We were nervous, excited. You were telling me to pack my suitcase for our roadtrip honeymoon up north to the Oregon coastline, Ashland’s Shakespeare festival, and a wretchedly ugly B&B in Napa. I flitted around our apartment, throwing in a pair of panties, then getting distracted. You must have told me to pack forty times, and I still forgot to bring a jacket along.

On that sunny Saturday, we were so joyful that the rain had stopped, just in time. I had my long brown hair done up with curls and ringlets. You tied your long brown hair back in a rubberband festooned with a maroon ribbon. Our friends busily prepared, busily fixed, busily set-up the holy ground where we were wed. You wore a rock T-shirt up until the guests began arriving. The chairs were white, the gowns and vests were burgundy, the long coattails, charcoal. We had more flowers than any wedding I’d ever been to. Your sister took the SAT test that morning, and crashed a car that afternoon. My bridesmaids and I got dressed at RoRo’s house. A photographer took photos of me in my ivory brocade gown: me alone, me with my mother and grandmother.

My dad decided there weren’t enough cups and he sent people out to by up all the plastic cups in town: a rainbow of plastic graced my meticulously decorated, and otherwise elegant, tables. The columns we thought would decorate the grounds weren’t stable in the breeze. Friends improvised. I suspect someone asked you if you were sure.

At the last moment, my father, without thought of the expense and with tears in his eyes, asked me if I really wanted to do this. I knew then that if I said no, he would take me to the car and drive me away without a backward glance. I said yes. He walked me me down the aisle to stand by your side. The barley was cast, the magical words were spoken. The community said, “We will.” And afterward, in a rush, we retreated to stand together under the giant oak trees, to have a moment of quiet certainty and relief in the middle of a crazy and out-of-this-world experience. My heart pounded. We kissed again.

Photos. Dancing. A whirl of color and sound and joy. We celebrated, we gave thanks, we said prayers.

Eleven years ago. I would do it all again. I love you today even more than I loved you that long-ago Saturday. You are my source, my retreat, my foundation. I love your humor and your fears. I love your compassion and your cynicism. I love your suffering and your playfulness. You are the partner I always wanted and the partner I revel in having. I don’t know how I was clever enough to see it when I was so young, but I know this: I chose wisely.

I will love you, comfort you, honor and keep you, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy. I will cherish you and continually give you my heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep myself only for you as long as I shall live. Blessed be.

6 Responses to “Dear Ian”

  • dakini_grl
    June 3, 2006 at 4:23 pm

    And many, many happy years to come. I adore your wedding photos. You both look so fragile and sure and delirious all at once. Thanks for putting this here, I also love the (slightly nosy) feeling that I’ve stumbled onto a packet of love letters… *sigh*

    Vive l’amour!


  • kittiliscious
    June 3, 2006 at 8:21 pm

    11 years! AMAZING! I am so happy for your happiness.


  • matimus
    June 3, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    As individuals, you’re exceptional; as a couple, you’re inspirational.

    I love you guys — Happy Anniversary!


  • sarabellae
    June 4, 2006 at 7:45 pm

    Thank you all. Yes, it’s all working out beautifully. Maybe it’s dumb luck, maybe it’s a karmic connection. Whatever. I’ll just sigh and enjoy the ride.


  • kimkimkaree
    June 5, 2006 at 4:28 pm

    So beautiful.


  • frosteee
    June 6, 2006 at 1:44 am

    But wishing you a Happy Anniversary regardless!

    I’m so happy and proud of you both for giving love a good name.
    I love you!!


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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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