He Chose Daddy

I started writing this post days ago, but work intervened in a majorly stressful way.

Tomorrow Lucas will be 5 and a 1/2 years old. Hard to believe, really.

At this very moment, he outside in the backyard playing Spider-Man. He’s running around in the backyard flinging webs at bad guys. I caught him with a handful of dental floss that he was using as web. He’s been playing Spider-Man quite often and I’m really hoping he doesn’t freak out at the last minute (like today) about this costume like he did last year about the robot costume RoRo bought him. The weekend before last, he wore the Spider-Man outfit to the pumpkin patch, but when we got there he decided to change. I guess he didn’t want to wear it there because the other kids weren’t wearing costumes.

He’s such a big boy lately. He has become quite good at getting ready for school in the morning without much help. He tromps out the door to go to school and face his day with just the briefest of pecks. “Bye, mom. I love you, too!” he shouts over his shoulder. Sometimes his days are quite long and we don’t get to reconnect until after 5 or 5:30 in the evening. But it’s now no biggie, whereas before, such long absences were the source of tears, frustration, or acting out behaviors.

Lucas’s teacher, Mrs. K, says he’s just a joy in class. He is acting so grown up and she is able to give him important jobs to do. On Monday, he and another boy were sent outside before playtime to assess the thunder/lightning situation. She told him it was a job for him because he is so very brave. The story came all the way home to me in his own words, which must mean her compliment made an impression on him. 

I attended the Parent Tea last week. One morning per month the parents are invited to come to the classroom for about 30 minutes. The kids get to share their school experiences with the parents a little, and the parents get to see the kids in action (if on a special day). Lucas brought me Sunflower, his Little One, to see. I said I was very happy to see Sunflower again because it had been a long time. He was in Fairyland over the summer, you see. Sunflower is the doll that I sewed clothes for last fall, but Lucas doesn’t know that I helped to make him. That part is a secret. Sunflower stays in the classroom with all the other Little Ones, one for each child. At the end of this year, Sunflower will get to come home with Lucas and live with us.

Lucas says his “best friend” is a boy named Ian, who is in the other class—he’s a White Roser. I’ve heard about how they play together and hold hands. I met Ian today for the first time, and he was indeed holding hands with my son. They looked thick as thieves together.

In Lucas’s imaginative play we’ve seen lots of heroic characters emerge: fire fighters, police officers, the dirty job mechanic guy from TV, and environmental do-gooders. Lucas now likes to save the world from destruction, likes to play at being sports stars (especially basketball, which seems to be his favorite, but also sometimes soccer or baseball). Recently he spent the afternoon scuba diving and surfing, and winning surfing competitions. Sometimes he plays really oddball games: Like being a butcher! The other day he was butchering a cow (couch cushion) with a butcher knife (small plastic clothes hanger) and giving out samples of meat rolls (a la Costco). I’m told that at the Bs’ house, the children often go hunting with bows and arrows; often their game is the placid and domesticated cow.

Tidoo, his special dolly, is still loved, but doesn’t get played with much anymore. She patiently waits for nighttime snuggles and doesn’t demand more from him. She’s not looking too good anymore—she’s all greasy and her stuffing is so matted she has no body in her body. Once in a while I hear her name crop up when Lucas is talking about his many harrowing adventures.

Sometimes we still hear about Lucas’s sister, but not nearly as often as when he was four. I think having a real brother has made all those imaginary siblings pale, somewhat.
Bike riding is big, big fun these days. I wish I weren’t so busy because then I could take him out to ride more often. Lucas isn’t yet savvy about traffic, so I have to go out with him. Asher and I end up walking or sitting our driveway watching Lucas ride up and down the street. Now he takes his feet off the pedals as he whizzes past us. He’s so confident on the bike and it makes me feel so joyful to see how accomplished he feels. 
Grandma VoVo and Lucas have a great time together. She picks him up once per week, usually. Lately they’ve been doing all kinds of art projects. They made a jointed skeleton out of thin white foam. It’s about 4 feet long. We have to finish the skull by cutting out eyes/nose/mouth and then we can hang it on the door or wherever as a Halloween decoration. Come to think of it, we had better get that done ASAP.

We have only two tickets to the Pumpkin Path at the school tonight. Obviously, one of us has to stay with Asher while the other parent takes Lucas on the tour. Today, Lucas chose daddy. I’m a little disappointed, but not surprised. I’ve always known that at around 5 years old, Lucas would transition away from me and gravitate toward hid dad and new and exciting manly interests.  It’s right and good, and it still makes me a little sad sometimes.


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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

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    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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