Ian’s Birthday and Some Troubling Family Stuff

My darling husband turned 35 yesterday. I am pleased to report that I love him madly, want to spend every day with him forever, and pray that we have long, abundantly blessed lives together. Furthermore, I don’t think he’s the least bit old.

A week ago we took Ian to buy a new bicycle. (He’s been riding bikes that don’t fit his body frame for years now.) We got a new Schwinn and he has enjoyed riding it to and from work a few times already. It’s not super fancy, but it’s serviceable, and new, and all his. I hope to hit the American River bike trail again soon!

Yesterday was an extremely mellow and rather uneventful birthday for him. He got to take the day off work, at least. But he mostly studied and hung out at home. I worked a lot yesterday. After this weekend of fun and frivolity and long car rides, we were in “return to normal” mode, with school and work and a regular-ish bedtime as priorities.

However, in an unprecedented show of bravery and adventure, Ian’s mom took us and his sister, Kellie, out for a sushi dinner at Samurai. It was a lovely meal and good company. (I’m now a big fan of the C. Webber roll: snow crab roll with cooked scallop on top and a peanutty sauce, tobiko and green onions. Nice to find new, cooked sushi delights since I crave it so badly.) Mom and Sis both had terriyaki chicken and tempura—mustn’t be too crazy. 😉

Unfortunately, Ian’s step-father is still very ill and wasn’t able to join us. His back pain and breathing problems are far from under control. Morphine is suppressing his respiratory system so badly that he’s falling down, unable to breathe. First they thought it was heart trouble, then they thought it was GERD, then they thought it was asthma and extreme allergies, but it seems now that it’s none of those things. Depression has also set in because he has been so limited for so long–like 2-3 years. Some retirement, eh? Now they’re talking about getting him off morphine ASAP, but that requires a new doctor. Apparently the doc that GIVES you the shit isn’t ALLOWED to get you off it. They won’t consider doing any kind of back surgery until David’s breathing is stabilized. He’s hitting the cans of heliox several times a day and went to the ER once last month. Just walking around his house reduces his respiration to less than 80% of what it should be. Ian’s mom and sister are basically at a loss as to how to help him or even how to cheer him up. Antidepressants are not the solution: They tried a number of those several years ago and they just made him feel suicidal. David is housebound, depressed, and acting weird.

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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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