It’s That Time of Year …
… when I get all goosey about money. I’m a nervous wreck over Christmas because my imagination so outstrips my ability, time, energy, and cash. The possibilities I can dream up are boundless, but reality is distinctly bounded—or should be. I find it easy to get swept away with all the self-imposed shoulds. I could list out three dozen without even stopping to think, I bet. I won’t, though. I’ll spare us all that painful exercise. My creativity runs away with me and my heart overflows. I alternate between letting my mind go wild with all those delights I would like to do, make, create, give, donate, decorate, design, draw, paint, sew, cook, find … and reigning myself in with prudent advice and wet blankets of reality: I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.
It’s all good, I guess. It’s the same hamster wheel I get on every year. I dream and wish I could somehow create magic and perfection in the lives of everyone I know and love. But I can only do so much, and then I have to forgive myself for the rest that doesn’t get done.
December 11, 2008 at 5:08 pm
And this would be a prime example of why everyone adores you so,. It’s the plain and simple fact that you want to share your love, passions, and amazingly creative self. No one expects you to have enough time, energy, or money to do everything your imagination cooks-up. They just appreciate you pausing to think of them when we all know how hectic your life is with a family and your work. <3
December 11, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Dude, just knowing that after all the obligations I get to go to your house and bask in the love is all that keeps me going sometimes. So, yes, you are absolutely doing enough! But I understand how you feel.
December 11, 2008 at 8:01 pm
to be brimming with creative ideas. However, if you overdo it and crash and burn , nothing will get accomplished. Love your self as your best friend and let the gift of peace and satisfaction be to and from you.
December 12, 2008 at 12:19 am
I dream and wish I could somehow create magic and perfection in the lives of everyone I know and love.
You do. Even as far away as you are and as seldom as I see you, my world is a better and more beautiful place for having you in it.
December 12, 2008 at 11:44 am
Oh, you’re sweet. Thank you for saying that. Happy holidays to you, darling.
December 12, 2008 at 11:45 am
I am so glad you like the party. I am glad it can be a haven for people after all the hooplah. Can’t wait to see you! xoxox
December 12, 2008 at 11:48 am
So much easier said, read, heard than done. I am my own best slavemaster. (… Well, maybe my baby is my best slavemaster.) Anyway, you’re right. Relaxation and peace are supposed to be the hallmarks of this time of year. So hard to acheive that, though. I continue to try.
December 12, 2008 at 11:50 am
Oh, thank you! “Seldom” is right! I wish we got to see more of you. Thank you for staying in touch in this way. It’s no substitute for personal contact, but it helps bridge the gaps between visits. Good luck with the end of term stuff!