My Burning Question and Ruminations on Fairness

What I want to know is, why is it OK for people in other states to donate money to back CA propositions. Shouldn’t we have a rule that says if your money doesn’t originate in CA, you don’t get a say in CA elections?


There is part of me that wants to shield our children from all the fighting and hate-mongering and bad shit in our world. Sometimes I feel that because Lucas is too young to have his own opinion, he doesn’t need to be thinking about this election stuff yet. But his growing awareness of issues is not something we can control. He will observe and learn from everything around him. So I feel it is better that he be very clear about what we believe and value. We must model goodness and fairness, lawful behavior and tolerance.


When we explained Proposition 8 in terms of "fairness," Lucas’s eyes lit up and he burned with his typical choleric fire. Fairness is a concept that is VERY important to a 6-year-old.


What I want my sons to learn in school and everywhere they go is that people are people, that their equal treatment under the law is more important that anything an old book of mythology or a religious leader has to say, and that liberty and justice is FOR ALL, not just for some. Proposition 8 proponents used our children as a pin in their argument. But I can too: Prop 8 should have been defeated for all our sakes, even our children’s, because fairness matters.


I am also deeply disturbed by the ban on gay adoption that has passed in Arkansas. I guess it is Arkansas and should be expected there, but still. Probably this ban exists elsewhere, too, but I don’t know. I just don’t understand how we can deny kids the loving parents they deserve, and deny loving parents the children they desire, when clearly there is so much need in the world.


I’m not sorry I blew raspberries at the Yes on 8 people; I am only sorry that Lucas saw me do it.

My happiness over Obama’s win is greatly muffled today by California’s obvious bigotry.

6 Responses to “My Burning Question and Ruminations on Fairness”

  • misterjustin
    November 5, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    Unfortunately if we did have a law making it illegal to use out of state money for a proposition they’d just get clever. No money from Utah? Okay, the local Morman church gets a big grand from Utah and spends it. That sort of nonsense.

    I want to take this opportunity to thank you and Ian, and like minded parents, for raising children that understand how fairness applies to people. All people. For raising children without discrimination. For raising children who will, when their time comes, look at the ever dwindling number of bigots without any sense of comprehension whatsoever.

    Really, thank you.


  • tshuma
    November 5, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    Me, too. Because it is true that these children are the future. I believe that we will see this part of the fight finished in our lifetimes, but I think it will be in their lifetimes before there are enough people alive in this country who can’t and won’t accept the bigotry and hatred to see anything like real equality happen.


  • kittiliscious
    November 5, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    I am surprised and disgusted that 8 passed, and I’m wondering if I could have done something about it. I just really didn’t think it would pass.


  • sarabellae
    November 5, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Well, that is ever our goal. We make the best decisions we can for our kids and try to teach them tolerance.

    But the truth—the big mystery of parenting—is that you never know. We do not know the people our children will become. Not only do they not come to us with instruction manuals, they also do not come with warranties or return policies, nor can you skip to the last page of their books to see how they will turn out and whether good will triumph over evil.

    All you can really do is keep pouring in love.


  • foresto
    November 6, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    Press release from yesterday:

    “The American Civil Liberties Union, Lambda Legal and the National Center for Lesbian Rights filed a writ petition before the California Supreme Court today urging the court to invalidate Proposition 8 if it passes. The petition charges that Proposition 8 is invalid because the initiative process was improperly used in an attempt to undo the constitution’s core commitment to equality for everyone…”

    This gives me yet another reason to donate to the ACLU.


  • sarabellae
    November 9, 2008 at 10:50 am

    I like that “core commitment to equality for everyone.” That’s a good premise on which to base a constitution!


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    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

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