Observations, Highs, and Lows

Sometimes it seems to me that my life operates on along the track of a single continuum, with terminal ends of clean and dirty. All day, every day, it seems, I find myself and my children and my household situated somewhere along that single spectrum. Sometimes we are moving toward dirty and sometimes toward clean, but always our present condition can be defined as a point on the filth spectrum. The kids are in the shower presently.

If you get a chance to eat a white squash that looks kinda like a flattened, scallop-edged hat (I think it’s called Early White Bush squash), by all means give it a try. It’s yummy.

My old magazine editor referred a local ad agency to me. The agency has a client that wants to work directly with a freelance writer to localize their ad campaigns. I told the vp I was interested and that he should feel free to give his client my contact info. It might turn into something. It might not.

I ran 35 minutes without stopping or slowing or hurting today on the gym’s treadmill. The day care girl said Asher didn’t cry the whole time I was gone, so that’s good. I am hoping as my fitness level improves, so will my emotional health.

I’m feeling terribly low. Feeling terrified about the threats I levied today at a client because I feel like I can’t back them up. Thanks to all my peeps who gave me encouragement. I felt righteous indignation for the first 30 minutes after I sent off that email. Now I just feel scared, small, and weak. Like a fraud. I really NEED that money. … Oh. Yes. This terror I feel is about MONEY. Right. Of course. Nevertheless, I’m feeling like my career is in the toilet and I’m ineffective and going nowhere fast. This makes me sad because I have no plans to change what I’m doing for the next two years at least. Hopefully I’ll get over it. It’s time for things to turn around. Please? 

9 Responses to “Observations, Highs, and Lows”

  • dakini_grl
    July 15, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Aw honey. I’m sorry about the lows, I know that fear.

    I just wanted to suggest that you don’t have to back your threats up. You just call us on the 23rd and surrender contact information. I will start harassing these jackasses, just like you told them I would. Nothing personal, just business. They owe you money, they are the ones in breach. And I know a few more friends who might be willing to get in on this act…

    I am your agent, and I am happy to be of service.

    Congratulations on the running, holy crap!

    I love you.


  • lunagirl35
    July 16, 2008 at 1:27 am

    to be paid for your work! You handled it in a professional, yet assertive manner. You can take them to Small Claims if necessary to collect. Be open to the possibility you did the right thing 🙂


  • mrplanet4
    July 16, 2008 at 10:39 am

    Yup, what dakini_girl said. I did tons of collections calls when I worked for a bookstore, I did a year in customer service wrangling unhappy people on the East coast. Doomsayer does it for his biz and we’re all frightening when we pitch our voices to a specific wavelength. So if you don’t want to call, we’ve got you covered.

    So glad you got to run. Sweat is a good tonic.


  • foseelovechild
    July 16, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Want to talk marketing?


  • mickibean
    July 16, 2008 at 11:34 am

    aww girl, your an amazing and talented woman…there is nothing you cant do! Look at the amazing family you made around you from your very own belly! Keep your chin up…thought preceeds reality:) Love you!!!!


  • sarabellae
    July 16, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    Thank you. I’m speechless. Thank you.


  • sarabellae
    July 16, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    Thanks. I hope it all works out.


  • sarabellae
    July 16, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    Yay. Thank you!


  • sarabellae
    July 16, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    Thanks honey-pie.


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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

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