Waiting for CT scan results, several cultures, etc. I’ve never had an illness with so many ups and downs before: This morning at 4 am my temp was 103 with shortness of breath and I was pretty certain I’d be heading for the ER after we sent Lucas off to school. At 7 am it was down to 99 and I felt pretty good–and still do, for the moment. I scrambled some eggs for myself and did some dishes. It’s so peculiar.

Dad’s on a plane flying to Hawaii right now with my gran and grand-aunt and a bunch of family members. Last night he was here grilling me about my temp, and he called again this morning to find out what it was. I was happy to tell him normal and 99, and not 103. He was considering staying home because I’m sick.

OB/gyn appt on Monday; Ultrasound on Tuesday. Hopefully in the next couple of days we’ll know what’s going on with me. Hopefully the new drugs will do the work of knocking out the infection in the meantime.

I wish I could say I am steadily improving and will be completely recovered soon. Unfortunately, I’ve had some setbacks. I have a fever that recurrs and some intense pain. My new doctors have ordered a new battery of tests (I am in fact drinking a barium shake as I write this in preparation for another CT scan this afternoon). My white blood cell count is too high, indicating that there is still infection in my body. My drugs have all been changed again (which precludes me from breastfeeding Asher again and that breaks my heart). Sometimes I feel loads better and can move around the house with relative ease (or even walk outside), other times I can hardly lift my baby. On the plus side, I have not returned to the hospital and hope to avoid the ER completely. I’m still at home with my family, thank god, but in need of a lot of support.

Thanks to all who have been following my health dramas and wishing me well. I am grateful for your support.

Sara’s home! We’re all thrilled! Thanks for the prayers and good vibes. I am sure she’ll send her story out in the next couple days, in the meantime, she is home and holding on to our babies like crazy.

Yes friends, Sara is no longer amongst the critical care folks! Although she isn’t home, it is way better than where she was. Tomorrow we will try to get the boys in to see her. Keep your fingers crossed that she comes home this weekend.

Small Mercies
no more diapers
mouth moisturizer
ice and water
snatches of sleep
futuristic, no-water-needed shampoo

Big Mercies
kind, dedicated nurses who work 12-hour shifts
antibiotics
beds that move
IVs
walking
friends and family
formula–previously hated but currently keeping my baby alive

Doctor Hendry, OB, examined me in the a.m. He had a soft touch. My fundus is U/2.
Mary is my RN; Molly is a visiting nurse from Mercy Folsom. Ursula was night nurse until morning. All are wonderful.

Head doc of ICU is Dr. Ravuri = Critical care specialist/Intensivist

Saw Dr. Kazadi, OB. Looks very pleased with my progress.
Molly checked with the pharmacy. They say I need to dump my milk for two days after the drugs stop to ensure they’re out of my system before the baby gets the milk. Of special concern is the blood thinning drug.

My Drugs
Argatroban = blood thinner
3 antibiotics: Flagyl, Levaquin, and Vancomycin
potassium chloride (IV, liquid, and capsule forms)
Mucomist (protects kidneys and smells/tastes like rotton eggs)
insulin
Albuterol treatments
Advair
sodium chloride = IV saline
Guifenestrin for cough
Dilaudid for pain as needed
Atavan/Xanax for anxiety and sleep aid
Tylenol
Decadron = steroid

Mary thinks they’re going to kick me out of ICU tomorrow, but probably won’t discharge me yet. But I could possibly roll out to the patio to visit with my family.

Dad brought me a Jamba Juice. When they switched me from a full liquid diet this afternoon to a solid diabetic diet tonight, the rule about Jamba Juice changed. The nurses lectured me and then turned a blind eye. I only drank part of it, but it was good. The meal wasn’t too bad either. They got me soy milk instead of cow.

Visitors today have been: Jeff, Ruth, Julie Merkel, Mom, Ian, Asher, Glen, Lisa, Dad and Thomas. Suzi called too. Ian and Glen brought Asher to my window today. I got to see him but not touch him. I cried and cried and wanted to hold him so badly. They fed him a bottle while I watched because he got hungry and fussy. He looks beautiful. His skin is healthy and pink. His eyes were open and alert, though he couldn’t see me through the window. It was so painful to see him and not be with him, but I’m glad I got to see him! Got to visit briefly with Glen and Ian before they went to lunch. Mom took Asher home with her.

I got two or three drops of colostrum out of my left breast today. Tonight, at 5:30 I got some drops from both breasts. This is so encouraging to me. I want to breastfeed this baby so badly and watching my milk dry up through this illness has been very hard. At 8:30 p.m. there was even more! I’m hoping I may be able to breastfeed Asher eventually.

Night 2/6-2/7: Pumped three times. Watched TV. Had trouble going to sleep. This is the first night without the catheter, so I was nervous about wetting the bed. Blood draw–5 vials–at around 2:45 a.m. Pumped at 3:00. Asked for a sleeping pill. Slept until X-ray people came and put a cold, hard panel under my back and took an X-ray while I was still in bed. More meds to swallow. Slept until 6:45 a.m. Slept again right after pumping.

Dear friends,

Thank you for all of the good wishes and heartfelt prayers, but please don’t stop, we aren’t out of the woods yet.

Asher Donovan (yes, he has a name) is just fine. The pediatrician has pronounced him healthy, Sara and Lucas and I think he is delightful.

The day after the birth, Sara was doing well, but by the weekend she had a fever, labored breathing, chest pains, abdominal pains… we took her to the hospital on Sunday and she was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit. She is diagnosed with septicimia -you can look it up if you want, but I would not recommend it, too scary. Essentially, we are talking about an infection that has made it into the bloodstream and gone systemic. This is treated with lots of antibiotics and constant monitoring, in an ICU ward.

48 hours after being admitted she is doing better. I spoke with her this morning and she sounds better. She is able to get up out of bed and they have her on the classic hospital diet of broth and jello. The doctors are saying things like “moving in the right direction.” However they are also saying things like “another week or two.” She is in good hands, she has smart doctors and very good nurses.

The worst part overall is that you cannot allow children, especially babies, into an ICU ward. And this is excruciating.

Sara will get better. But it is going to take time. The boys and I are being well taken care of by our family. We are getting plenty of physical and emotional support through all of this, and I really could not ask for more.

So, people always want to know what they can do in a situation like this. For now, keep us in your hearts. Keep a picture of Sara, healthy, and at home with her children, in your mind’s eye. I will send out updates as I get them. But it is a slow process, so it may not be daily.

Thank you again for your love and prayers, Ian

“I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.” – C.P. Estes

I feel much better today. Since around 2 I’ve been breathing better, smiling and talking more. Mom, Ian, Mario, and Brittany came to see me. Brittany got me a second flange for my breast pump so I can pump both breasts at once. I’m trying to get my milk to come in. It dried up when I got so sick. Kellie came by tonight too.

Mary, my day nurse, watched me improve throughout the day. She’s been very encouraged, as has Ursula. We moved my uncomfortable IVs. We gave me a sponge bath tonight. Ursula let me use her bath salts and lavender spray. Last night she was changing my diapers! She told me they might let me go home tomorrow, but probably not. They want to see how long it takes to get my blood to stop flowing [I think this is related to the blood thinning drug they gave me]. She also said the OB doctor had thought it would be very likely that they’d have to give me a hysterectomy because of the severity of the infection. It sounds like the OB doc is not thinking along those lines now.

I got to eat broth, water, jello, and grape juice. I feel less parched but still very thirsty with dry mouth and a sore throat.

Asher went to see Dr. Felix today. He got his first check up. He looks good and healthy, Ian says.

Grateful

We are pleased to report that baby-boy Wilson (still working out the name) was born last night, January 31 at 10:15pm. He weighs 8 lbs and is 19 inches long, has all the requisite number of parts and, like Mary Poppins, is practically perfect in every way. Baby and mother are doing very well, Big Brother Lucas is completely thrilled, Ian is a bit shocky but we expect him to recover soon.

Remarkably, he was born at home (not planned that way) which surprised us quite a bit. But we have discovered that babies know alot about being born and if you just get out of the way, they know which direction to go.

Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts, warm wishes, and Aquarian vibes. This baby is very fortunate to be born into a community of such loving people. All of the good energy certainly helped Sara and the rest of us make it to our new day.

-The Wilsons