Poo Storm
Asher had a poo storm today. Well, since he can’t actually clean himself, let’s say “we had a poo storm today.” I didn’t want to open with that “we” lest you think my health and hygiene to be failing again.
poo storm. n. Chaos resulting when the baby poo leaks, bursts, squirts, or otherwise explosively escapes the confinement of a diaper of any description via leg hole or top rear. Poo rapidly spreads and stains anything that it comes into contact with, particularly legs, socks, feet, clothes, back, and hair. This event usually happens when there is no spare outfit and only 1 or 2 wipes left in the diaper bag.
A Word About Color for the Uninitiated
When shopping for baby clothes, buy yellow, even if you know the child’s gender to be blue or pink. Baby poo stains, as I mentioned, and is usually a bold, vibrant yellow–the goldenrod of your Crayolas, the gold of a gourmet artisanal mustard, the burnt yellow of Tuscan hills and Starbucks walls. If the outfit you purchase is yellow, it stands a reasonably good chance that it will be worn twice.
Anyway, back to our story. We were at Target doing some shopping. Asher was reclining in his baby bucket/stroller. Naturally, he was wearing a white designer outfit that was a gift from an upscale baby boutique, not the hand-me-downs I usually dress him in. Needless to say, the poo went everywhere. What made it even more humorous was the fact that I was trying on white skirts at the time.
This is exactly the type of thing that would have me in tears when Lucas was a baby: Oh the mess! The embarrassment! Why oh why didn’t I anticipate that this would happen? Why oh why did I have him dressed in a fancy outfit? Why or why don’t I have a spare?
After I cleaned Asher up the best I could, I admitted our poo disaster to the Target lady. She had a disinfectant spray to wipe up the bench.
The Poo Storm Cloud
1. The baby bucket and boutique outfit are stained
The Silver Lining
1. We were in the disabled dressing room–plenty of space to spread out
2. A convenient laminate bench served as a staging area for damage control
3. We did not ruin any Target merchandise
4. This time, I had plenty of wipes and a spare T-shirt in the diaper bag
5. I had two plastic bags in the diaper bag for icky, pooy garbage and icky, pooy clothes
6. The Target lady won’t remember me
7. Best of all, I laughed about it instead of being embarrassed
April 24, 2007 at 11:44 pm
I’m glad I have been warned about the poo storm, so that when I become a parent, I will not be overly surprised by the occurance, left wondering why my usual poo containment strategies suddenly failed.
April 25, 2007 at 10:35 am
WOW!
April 25, 2007 at 11:12 am
http://homestarrunner.stores.yahoo.net/poopsmith.html
April 26, 2007 at 10:27 pm
It’s a wonderful feeling when something that used to be embarassing just isn’t any more. I’m sure Asher appreciated your calm attitude too.
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