Someday I Will Sleep Enough

I am so tired. My sleep is constantly interrupted, like between four and six times a night. Sometimes it’s Lucas, mostly it’s Asher waking me. Sometimes one of the boys wakes up at 5 a.m. and doesn’t go back to sleep. I haven’t slept more than 2 or 3 hours straight since May of 2006. It’s not the same as choosing to go without for a night for a fun reason, like debauchery, rock music, or even all-night sophmoric discussions. It’s a constant debt and it affects my mental health.

Ian tries to help me. On the weekends he gets up early with the kids and sometimes I can sleep till 8 or 8:30 a.m. Rarely until 9. He is a prince for doing this. But I’m still deeply deprived (of this one resource).

Someday, I will sleep through the night again. Someday, I will sleep through the night again. Someday, I will sleep through the night again. Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll be restored.

maybe I’m finally getting sick …

7 Responses to “Someday I Will Sleep Enough”

  • mickibean
    December 4, 2008 at 10:53 am

    awww honey…..I send you SLEEPS! Heres wishing you some sleeps….maybe its time to secretly put some chamomile in the kids night time drinks? haha

    Reply

  • sarabellae
    December 4, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    Thanks, honeypie. I guess I was feeling sorry for myself last night. Did I get a better night’s sleep? No. I appreciate the sympathy.

    Reply

  • smiley_t
    December 4, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    I’m sorry and I feel your pain. That’s all I can really say. Except that know that someday they’ll go off to college and you can sleep all you want.

    Reply

  • dakini_grl
    December 4, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    All I can say is I don’t know how you do it. I’m consistently amazed by your sense of commitment to and love for your children. I don’t know if I say that enough. Love you.

    Reply

  • sarabellae
    December 4, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    You know what it’s like. I suppose I can sleep when I’m dead, right? I just think I could be a better, more patient mom if I could get proper rest.

    Reply

  • sarabellae
    December 4, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    Oh, you do say it a lot, and I am so grateful. Thanks very much. I guess I just needed to whine.

    Reply

  • lunagirl35
    December 5, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    I hope you get a little extra shut eye in this weekend! And I hope you are able to pat yourself on the back for hanging in there. This is the rough part of attachment parenting, abd I’m sure you’re tempted to let him cry it out, but he knows you’re there when you need him.

    Reply

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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

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    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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