The Kid Is Easier Now

It’s slowly dawning on us that Lucas has been a lot easier to deal with lately. That super-oppositional monster that lived with us a few months ago seems to have moved out. Our new roommate is much more likeable–he’s much more likely to say yes, or to tell a story, or suggest a game we can play together, or tell us something he likes about us, what we’re doing, his friends, or his home. It’s such a relief not to have him fighting us at every turn.

We had a really pleasant and suburban weekend. Ian and I went on a date on Saturday night to an exciting lecture on child development at Steiner College (very geeky). It was interesting and different, and it gave us more to talk about afterward at the coffee shop than a movie would have. Lucas stayed with VoVo and DiDi and was a peach for them.

Sunday morning we went to church at the UUSS. Unlike previous visits to the “play room,” Lucas actually kind of looked forward to going to the child care for an hour. We had lunch afterward with Kelly and Ambrosia. Lucas and Ambrosia actually got along well! In the bathroom, Ambrosia said, “Lucas is my best friend” and gave him a hug. I was both surprised and delighted when he graciously received her clumsy embrace and didn’t slug her in return.

After lunch, we all headed over to the Sacramento Waldorf School for an open house. I got to show Kelly the Kindergarten classrooms there, which is nice because now she knows why I’m always raving about Waldorf education. Ian took care of the kids while they played on the playground, while Kelly and I spoke to the teachers and asked questions. Then I switched duties with Ian and he and Kelly got to roam around and explore the grades classrooms.

The culmination of the weekend, though, was a dinner party with some friends at lovely Dakini_grl’s new pad. Lucas brought some toys along and played quietly (for the most part) under the table in the corner of the room. I was able to talk to friends, eat dinner, and relax without having to ride him the whole time to behave. He joyfully wrestled with Daddy and Sandy a little while, and was a little shy at times, but he was mostly friendly to the adults.

On the drive home, I realized how grateful I am for his good behavior, friendly manner, and sweet disposition. I really have a wonderful young son. I can’t believe it’s only a few months ’til his fourth birthday. Can he really be almost four years old?

Yesterday afternoon I picked Lucas up from preschool, and took him to Ancil Hoffman park on a whim. The sky was blue and clear and I felt like being out in the wild for a little while. We parked at Effie Yew Nature Center and walked the trails for a while. We saw a group of three deer grazing right next to the trail. We stood still and quietly watched them for a time. I explained to Lucas that they weren’t bothered by us being there because we were being so quiet. He asked questions in a whisper, “Are they wild, Mom?” We also saw wild turkeys, more deer, a hawk, and some white egrets. We listened to songbirds.

We meandered all the way down to the river’s edge and tossed rocks into the water. Sometimes they bounced when they hit the other rocks already in the stream. Lucas isn’t satisfied throwing little rocks into the river; he’d much rather pick up the biggest rock he can lift. The American River is running very high and fast right now, thanks to the winter rains. I secured Lucas’s promise not to get into the water, not to get wet–and bless my soul! He didn’t! He didn’t argue when it was time to walk back. He didn’t whine and drag his feet on the way back to the car. He carried a huge stick all the way from the riverbank to the car, and carefully made worm holes (for the worms to live in) in the soft earth with the tip of his stick. He brought back a dozen rocks in his pockets. We spent about an hour and a half together on our nature walk and it was simply lovely.

8 Responses to “The Kid Is Easier Now”

  • dakini_grl
    January 24, 2006 at 11:42 pm

    I was completely taken by Lucas’ playing (semi?) under the table on Sunday. I kept wanting to squeal and make a big deal of what I saw, but the other part felt like the greatest delight was just in watching him play and talk to himself and run his trains around in the carpet, absorbed and engaged with his toys. Magical stuff.


  • childofeos
    January 24, 2006 at 11:50 pm

    I am happy for your and your family’s happiness.

    Since I am not a parent, I cannot fathom such a change in you child, but I am joyed to hear that it has brought a sense of harmony to your life and home.

    On another note…
    I neither can believe Lucas is almost 4 years old. You were pregnant with him when I met you, New Years Eve of 2001. Exchanged emails with Ian via Barbarians when you two were looking for his name. I had the honor of holding him for a short while in his infancy. Marvel at him as he danced and sung to us from the small stage with the Taj Mahal painted in the background during the Indian dinner I spent with your family, and . And my last memory of him is at the clean-up after Dionysusia (sp?) the year and I attended together (at Tom’s). Lucas was standing on the carpet of the living room eating a Granny Smith Apple that was only slightly less than half the size of his head! I couldn’t figure out if the apple was enormous or if he was just that petite. If my memory serves me right , a few others and I marveled at Lucas for a while and then went back to cleaning/arranging/etc.
    *smiles warmly, remembering*



  • flonkbob
    January 25, 2006 at 10:28 am

    What a lovely day!


  • sarabellae
    January 27, 2006 at 12:27 pm

    Thanks, dear! (We were wondering where you disappeared to.) Thanks for writing about your brief encounters with our family. It’s fun to see us and Luca from others’ perspectives. I have a great picture of you holding him as a baby…somewhere.


  • sarabellae
    January 27, 2006 at 12:29 pm

    Yes, it really was. I’m hoping to build that nature walk at Ancil Hoffman into our family rhythm. Wouldn’t it be lovely to do that once a week? I know it would do us both a world of good. I’m thinking Mondays might work. Next time I’ll take my camera along.


  • sarabellae
    January 27, 2006 at 12:35 pm

    I think he did great that night. His imagination is on overdrive and his attention span has stretched a lot in the last six months. It means he can pretend by himself for long periods of time now. He pops up periodically to tell me about what this character is doing or about that dillema in his scenario, or to tell me a fact about trains that I didn’t know before.

    Thanks for inviting us to your home. Its always great to hear that Lucas is welcome, especially when it’s mostly adults who will be there. I feel proud of him.


  • childofeos
    January 27, 2006 at 5:48 pm

    (We were wondering where you disappeared to.)

    The fall of 2004 and the whole of 2005 I spent at either work, school, or attempting to steal a few hours of sleep before I had to go back to either previously mentioned location. I had almost no energy to spend on social activities resultantly. It was all for a good cause, though, as I am now only about another two months away from being able to take the state board exams in CA to be a registered dental assistant. (I am interning at a DDS’ office in AZ.)

    My need to complete my schooling in order to attain my DDS is swallowing the whole if my life for the time being…but that’s ok. It means that in the future I will be able to secure a future in which I do not have to fear retirement and will rest assured that I will be able to continue to provide for any family I (have/will have) in the future as well.

    I just wish that I had had the drive to have moved toward my goals in younger years. *shrugs*

    I have a great picture of you holding him as a baby…somewhere.

    If you happen upon it, and remember this request, I would very much like a digital copy of the photo. =)


  • sarabellae
    January 27, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    Um…OK. But please know, you are in good company. Everyone we know is waiting for pics from us. We take pictures all the time. We’re just not very organized.

    Congratulations on your new career! I think it’s terrific. We’ll see ya when you’re done. 🙂


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  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

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