Three Lucas Vignettes
After a 10-minute, intricate monologue about some damn thing that probably had to do with machines and explosions, he said, “Mom, I’m really creative.”
“Yes, son, you really are. You have creativity coming out your ears.”
“And out my penis and out my butt!”
***
5 a.m.
“Dad! DAD!”
“Hmm? What?”
“Dad! Can we get up now?”
“Lucas, it’s still dark. It’s too early to get up.”
“Dad! It’s not early. It’s dawn!”
***
“Goodnight. I love you.”
(silence for 3 minutes, then piercing screams)
“MOOOOOOMMMY! MOMMY! IT HURTS!”
“What hurts?” I ask, feeling angry.
“My penis! I was scratching my penis and it’s stuck in my zipper!”
“Oh God!” I ran into his room and slowly and carefully extracted his foreskin from his sleeper’s zipper, amid his whimpers. Fortunately, there was no blood and no lasting damage.
It is high drama around here. Never a dull moment, not even at 5 a.m.
December 1, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Arrrgh! Not the zipper!? I’m going to be cringing for the next hour. Eeeeeee….