Ever feel like you’ve gotten into the habit of being crabby, because crabby answers to questions like, "How was your day?" and "How are you?" are quick to appear in your brain and sometimes sound witty when you say them aloud? But when you really stop to think about how you are and you look around and take stock, you realize that there’s really not all that much to be crabby about? Because life is pretty fucking great and you have love and laughter and enough money and food and a roof over your head and friends who seem to like you even though you’re crabby?

How do you then break out of crabby thinking? If you frequently find it easy to see your glass half empty, how do you refocus on what you have? Cuz when your loving SO gets sad when you’re crabby and wants to fix it all for you and you realize that there’s nothing at all to fix and you should just shut the fuck up and smile, you feel like a jerk.

Just wondering …

5 Responses to “Wondering”

  • miss_emelia
    January 28, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    As one who frequently succumbs to the crabby, especially when Rick was in the house, I decided a while ago that I was going to focus on the good stuff rather than dwelling on the bad stuff and even if I made a crabby comment, I’d have to follow that up with a genuine, “but, other than that, things are good because…” or “but this other spiffy thing happened today.” And I started telling myself I was optimistic and happy rather than letting my self-talk be about what sucked. And initially, I was totally faking it, but now a few years later, the world really is a happier, better place, or at least I perceive it that way. And I suspect it’s the latter – I’ve radically changed my perception from focusing on the downsides and the negatives to commenting and reveling in the good stuff, and when I comment on it, I’m more likely to remember that moment, and isn’t life better if your remember what makes it good instead of what makes it lame?


  • samayam
    January 28, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    A long time ago I took a step back and tried to understand what it was I was trying to accomplish by being crabby or holding onto and reflecting back negativity. The answers were not flattering. So when I find myself holding onto negative vibes I try to remind myself that those feelings only Feel important, but are ultimately destructive. And then I think about how the person who I want to be would think and behave and I do my best to approximate that.


  • lunagirl35
    January 28, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    In addition to the excellent advice you received from the two other posts, might I suggest really evaluating whether you want to look at the glass as half full. IOW what ‘payoff’ do you get by grumbling? I know in my case it’s been attention. But by cultivating a sense of gratitude and a desire to be a positive example for Em I’ve been able to stop and think and evaluate before I speak.


  • dakini_grl
    January 28, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    I think you do it just like this. By recognizing you’re doing it (see: my recent post “complaining” about all the “hard work” I do at the gym). I think you do it by opening your heart and making it okay to say stuff like “No wait I didn’t mean that. Things are great and I’m grateful and I love you.” For me, a lot of change can cascade out of those moments.

    The crabby is tricky for me too, just for the reasons you say here. Cynicism masquerades as “clever,” anger is a quick stand-in for “smart.” A kind of shorthand.

    For a long time I think I held the belief that smart people were never happy people, and that I had to choose and I wanted to be smart. It’s taking a while to undo that.


  • apprendre guitare seul
    March 24, 2014 at 3:15 am

    As you now have read this post, you ought to have a better understanding of how you can find started. The better you know about it, the higher equipped you will certainly be to get started. You will have a lot of fun with the guitar, and once you learn how to play, others will like listening.


Leave a Reply

  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

  • Buy Our Festivals E-Books

  • Archives

  • Tags

  • Categories


  • Meta