December Snapshot 7

In the season of quiet and darkness, I’m busy, busy with work—and not with the things I want to be doing. I want to be sipping tea and knitting, making toys for my children’s Christmas stockings, and celebrating the solstice. My kids are knocking around the house and into each other. I want to be out, taking photos and playing, and to be inside baking. I want to be working on photo albums of this year’s pictures for the grandparents. How retro is that?

Ian has been taking Lucas and Asher out and doing some of our errand-running, picking out gifts in my stead. This is no small feat with two small boys along for the ride. Also, there are some lovely, sparkling lights on our house thanks to Ian.

Today I had to tell some people that their deadlines are unreasonable and I can’t meet them. This is a tough thing to do and shakes my confidence a bit. I try to take comfort in knowing I am speaking up for myself and the book, and am being professional by saying, sorry, I won’t cut corners. Sometimes you have to wait if you want it done right. It’s been nerve-wracking because I’ve not heard back from the big boss. Neither, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” nor “OK. Thanks for making quality and accuracy your priority.”

Maybe that’s what’s got me feeling low. Or maybe it was my doctor appointment this morning. “Women your age should …”

December Snapshot 4

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Our first batch of plum jam was made on December 4th with Papa. Last night we made another big batch and we’ll have to see later tonight whether it’s gelled properly. The jam is low in sugar, sweet-tart, and full of pulpy goodness. I hope it’s delicious.

The plums we used were frozen from last year’s harvest, when Dad and I picked way more than we could process in three jam-making sessions. It was a difficult time then, full of anxiety (and flat-out fear on my part) about Dad’s upcoming heart surgery, and making jam together was our bonding activity. It was special and sweet, the first time we had ever made jam together, and laced with uncomfortable overtones of, “what if.”

The jamming has been different this year. More of a celebration. More an act of thanksgiving for me. Dad is well, perhaps not fully recovered, but nevertheless doing great despite a lot of stress and caring for his 89-year-old mother and 96-year-old  aunt. He would say he’s all better now. I know he still tires easily.

I would be very pleased if I could be making plum jam with my dad for another 15 years.

December Snapshot 3

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I’m working on being both reasonable and flexible this holiday season—reasonable about what I can accomplish and flexible when circumstances change and obstacles arise.

I had high hopes that we could go up to the foothills this year to hunt for our Christmas tree, but the rainy weather on Saturday and limited time made the trip impossible. We always have such fun visiting the craft fairs and enjoying a slice of apple pie. Instead, we went to Lucas’s school and bought a beautiful tree. Our money will help the school and a group of girls who have formed a eurhythmy troop. We were back home with our tree in less than 30 minutes, which meant that we got the whole thing decorated in a day, instead of it taking all weekend (a day in the foothills, and a day to decorate the tree).

It’s wacky that so many of our ornaments have memories attached to them. I often know where they came from—who gave this one to us, what year I bought that one, which ones are handmade, where Mom and Dad were traveling when they picked up those two, what this one meant to me when I received it. I have ornaments that have been on my family’s Christmas tree since I was in preschool. And if that’s not sentimental, I don’t know what is.

December Snapshot 1

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Gorgeous persimmons are ripening on my kitchen counter top. Last Friday the B children came over after school and we made a batch of cookies with the couple of persimmons that were ripe enough.

I’m really enjoying spending time with Snow in the kitchen; she has greater follow-through than my boys do. I seem to have hit on the magic formula: Every child measures and pours an ingredient into the bowl, taking turns until everything is in. Everybody mixes, counting their strokes. Eventually, the littler ones drift away to do something else and Snow and I spoon the cookie dough onto the pan. Then, she’s off to play with the others and I get the job of waiting for the oven buzzer, switching out pans, and cleaning up—the boring parts.

I’m learning to recognize (sometimes) when I have a need or expectation for a holiday. To me, it wouldn’t be Christmas time if we didn’t bake cookies. My kiddos didn’t think to ask to do this. But I realized it was something I needed to do. So, I set it up, carved out a moment, and made it happen. Of course, the boys are overjoyed at the opportunity to eat cookies. And, really, who wouldn’t be?

I should add another observation. Besides the script in my mind that says, “good moms bake cookies for Christmas,” there is another script running: “Sexy moms don’t eat cookies.” A little conflict there, perhaps.

Work continues at a much more relaxed pace this month. I’m reviewing second pages now of my textbook, making sure all the intense and involved changes we asked for last month were made. It’s looking good and I’m happy that the people down the line were able to do it. This one is not exactly easy for them, I’m sure, even though I’ve done everything I can to make it as painless as possible.

With some professional coaching, I have managed to change my banner image on my blog to my own wintry photograph. I’ve also added a caching plug-in, so now my site will be faster. And that’s just plain nifty!

Sweet Capitola

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Our Capitola vacation was perfectly lovely in almost every way. Our rented in-law suite worked well for us and we especially loved having the whole, gorgeous yard—complete with ocean view—to play in. We spent time outside, sitting and listening to the waves below, watching the birds dancing and spiraling in the air above the cliff and bay, sipping champagne, reading, and playing games with the boys. Asher and Lucas loved finding shovels and rakes to play with and a garden patch, containing bark to push around and dig, and a plastic play house. Our hosts were even gracious enough to drop some extra Duplo blocks for our kids to use.

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I think we may have accomplished just about everything on my agenda for those six days off, including a super-fun trip to the Santa Cruz boardwalk on Friday after Thanksgiving, where Lucas and Asher and Ian got to enjoy some rides. It was adorable watching Lucas sitting with Asher in a tiny helicopter, teaching him how to make it go up and down, and reassuring him when Asher was feeling nervous.

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Asher didn’t much care for the clown face into which you’re supposed to throw the brass rings you grab on the carousel. He refused to sit on a horse, but sat in my lap in a carriage instead. Lucas managed to grab the rings several times. I made Ian ride the kiddie race-car ride with Asher because it looked a little too fast and I thought Asher might get scared if Ian weren’t with him. They all had a blast.

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We picnicked on a grassy lawn in some blustery weather and afterward played some arcade games, which are not my favorite but everyone else enjoyed them. Word of warning: Do not allow Asher to drive any type of vehicle anytime soon! He is all too interested in pushing every possible button and pulling every possible lever as quickly and frequently as he can.

Naturally, we had our normal family and sibling squabbles, too. Having the spacious home and two bedrooms helped with that, though. I think Lucas would have enjoyed more time at the beach, of course. We did go several times for partial days. I worked a little, but not so much that it was oppressive.

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Other enjoyable moments included a walk to Gayle’s Bakery in Capitola on Wednesday morning, where we ate pastries and muffins outside, and then we paid a visit to Many Hands Gallery (where we didn’t break a thing!). We took walks into town (with some shopping), played lawn games, and watched sunsets over the ocean. Ian read to us from The Wind and the Willows before bedtime and he generously let me sleep in a tad in the mornings; he even figured out how to make good coffee with the French press. I got to knit some more on Asher’s sweater and even read a little. We even watched the new “Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” film together (Lucas and Asher prudently left the room during the Stone Table scenes but enjoyed all the rest of it). As some of you know, movies often don’t go over too well around here.

Lucas surprised us by requesting a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Although we weren’t really equipped for marathon cooking, we didn’t see any real reason to say no, so we bought a complete dinner from Safeway that fit the bill nicely. No, the food was not grand, but the setting was, so nobody minded. I’ve never had Thanksgiving dinner on a sunny cliff before! We called home on Thanksgiving to talk to our parents and watched “Tom and Jerry” cartoons while dinner was warming.

Of course, the beach was a favorite for all. I love to watch my boys playing in the sand and surf and stream and sun. I think they are most perfectly at peace in such places, perfectly alive and playful. There is a stream that runs into the sea on Capitola Beach and it makes the most divine place to play, with the stream running broadly and only about six inches deep. The water was cold, but that’s half the fun.

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It took Asher some time before he felt comfortable enough to leave our side. He sat peacefully playing in the sand for a long while, but when he finally braved touching the stream with his toes, it was only moments before he was soaked up to his thighs. He ran through the water, splashing up- and downstream for an hour and a half. He said he was surfing.

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Lucas braved the surf and got knocked down a few times when the waves came in bigger than he expected. He was OK, though, and got back up right away and went back for more. He must have been freezing, but that sort of thing doesn’t matter to a 7-year-old. I remember feeling exactly that way myself when I was his age.  Frankly, to this day, I cannot go to the seaside and NOT touch the sea. It’s just impossible; to forego touching the waves is a sacrilege to great to be borne.

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On our way home we stopped at Jeannie’s Christmas tree farm in the Santa Cruz mountains, Raccoon Gulch, and spent the afternoon there. We picnicked on turkey leftovers with Steve and Jeannie and met her parents. With Jeannie’s mom, Karen, Lucas made a “Spice Angel” with cinnamon sticks, bay leaves, yarn, and corn husk wings. (She’s lovely, and as soon as I find her acorn head, I’ll glue it back on and hang her up.)

Unfortunately, after we finished eating Jeannie had to leave for work. Steve led us through the woods along their “bike trail,” down into the gulch, over by the lake, and up to the “old barn.” It was so gorgeous and Lucas and Asher trooped along after Steve like mini Boy Scouts, listening intently as Steve identified plants and various fungi, and told stories about this fallen log or that thicket. Before long, my kids were shouting out, “Steve, here’s a mushroom!” Only for Asher, it was more like, “Teve! A mushooom!” (I’m really sad I didn’t take my camera along on this walk, but I was in the moment.)

I fell in love with the ~400-year-old oak tree at the end of Jeannie’s family’s property. So massive, so majestic—yet also it looked somewhat weary. Its huge branches grew up out of a giant trunk, out, and down— almost spiderlike. They rest on the ground for a span, as if they are too heavy to hold up, and then rise back up a little. It was very peaceful there in the dusk.

At the lake we had a long discussion about duckweed, and Lucas was determined to make biodiesel out of the duckweed he put in a bottle to take home. As far as I can tell, it is surviving the freezing weather in my backyard nicely, in the green plastic bucket where Lucas put it upon returning home.

More photos are now on my photos page or on  Flickr.

30-Minute Martinmas Lantern

We are deep in the festival season now, a time when it seems there is a new festival to be celebrated every other day. The season kicks off with Michaelmas in September, then moseys on to Halloween. After that, it picks up speed, rushing quickly through Martinmas, Thanksgiving, and St. Nicholas’s Day. You might say it’s snowballing, rushing through Advent downhill toward Christmas and the year’s end. I admit I’ve had fewer cycles to give to all of this celebrating because of work, and that is disappointing to me. But one of my daily lessons in life and parenting is I must do what I can, and that is all I can do. It is enough. (I tend to fight this lesson a lot.)

Before Thanksgiving, we went to a St. Martin’s Lantern Walk at Lucas’s school. The children in second grade made their own beautiful lanterns from milk cartons. They whitewashed, painted, and created tissue-paper windows in their lanterns before the big event. On Friday, November 13, about a hundred people gathered in the darkness at school and walked a lovely path through the woods. We came upon a beggar man and St. Martin on his brave charger (a real horse!) in the night. Silently we watched Martin give the beggar a cloak to wear and a sack of food, for Martin is a generous man. The children sang their lantern songs, and carefully carried the lighted lanterns dangling from a stick.

About a half-hour before it was time to go to this festival, I realized that Asher would be sorely disappointed not to have a lantern to carry, too. So I whipped up this one, using a plastic jar and leaves and tissue paper. I was drying it with a hair-dryer just before we walked out the door. Instead of fire, I placed a few glow bracelets inside the lantern and sealed it up tight. The lantern glowed nicely—and safely—which was just as I had hoped. It got bounced around an awful lot!

Now, nearly a month later, the lantern is looking a little worse for wear. If I had had more time, I would have covered the top with a pretty fabric.

Asher's 30-Minute Martinmas Lantern

Asher's 30-Minute Martinmas Lantern

Thanksgiving

I’m breaking radio silence briefly to say,

Aaaahhh.

It’s so wonderful to relax. Perspective is a beautiful thing. I think I’ve found some of it again, now that I’ve had two whole days with minimal work and lots of lovey time with my family. We are enjoying ourselves tremendously. We even had a special Thanksgiving dinner today (thanks to Chez Safeway) that we ate in this glorious spot in the backyard of our rented vacation house, overlooking the rolling waves and frolicking surfers.

Life is beautiful.

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And Away We Go

I should be packing. I’ve spent almost the whole day trying to wrap up my work neatly, so I can go on vacation with a guilt-free conscience. I wasn’t able to tie as pretty a bow on everything as I would have liked, but I still have tomorrow morning, too.

I hope to be on the road by 10:00 a.m. We’ll see. I pulled out the packing list I made for our Bodega Bay vacation at Thanksgiving 2007; it was funny seeing some of the items we had to bring along, like baby food.

We  are all very excited to leave tomorrow! We are hoping to hook up with a few friends while we are near Capitola. I hope the house where we are staying will be cool. It should be!

Our plans for the week off include:

  • beach play
  • sand castles
  • strolling through town
  • eating out
  • eating in
  • Santa Cruz boardwalk
  • redwoods
  • meeting friends
  • flying kites
  • naps
  • cocktails
  • cuddles
  • play
  • reading
  • knitting
  • and some working

Sounds heavenly to me, except for that last little part. Wish us luck and safe travels!

Grateful

I’ve been thinking a great deal about my parents lately. No, nothing major is going on with them. They are fine and relatively healthy. I’m very grateful for this, and very, very grateful for all they do for me and for my family. They are involved in our lives in a way that is so supportive, and yet not controlling or meddling.

Here are just a few ways they help us on a regular basis:

Mom knits socks, hats, and sweaters for my kids constantly.

Mom hems pants and sews pants and shorts for my kids.

Mom repairs just about any clothing item I take her.

Mom is still teaching me how to do things like knitting and sewing, and she gives generously of her time. She also fixes/helps me fix my mistakes.

Dad and Mom buy gifts and clothing for the boys, and dinners for the whole family.

They each take Lucas to school one morning a week: Monday and Thursday.

They babysit when we have dates, or things to do with friends, or even if we just have to work.

Dad picks Lucas up from school once in a while and hangs out with him in the afternoon.

Dad finds projects to do with Lucas, like building toys, working with wood, etc. He even let Lucas help build his garage.

Mom sews with Lucas and teaches him to knit.

They take us on family vacations to Hawaii every few years and pay for most of the trip.

Mom gave Ian her old car and he’s been driving it for something like six years now, maybe more.

They invest money in college funds for my boys!

Mom donates things she has made to Lucas’s school fundraisers.

They listen to us, treat us with respect, and don’t overcrowd.

We have fun together.

It’s been a long time since we had to ask them for money, but I know they would help us if we needed help.

Best of all is that my parents have become my friends, in a way. I’m still their daughter and they still have an interest in my well-being, of course. But there are times when I want nothing more than to just hang out with them. Wow.

Halloween!

I wish I’d managed to write this days ago, but my work has got me hopping like crazy!

Halloween was perfect this year. It felt like such a treat to have it on a Saturday night because we could really enjoy ourselves.

Friday night before Halloween we enjoyed a great meal of pork chops, sweet potatoes, and greens and then carved our jack-o’-lantern. Parnasus and her son X joined us for the carving fun, and I finally hung up the groovy felt decorations we made the day before. This year Lucas managed to carve his own pumpkin, and made a graveyard scene showing headstones and a creepy hand coming up from a grave (What?).  Asher’s jack-o’-lantern was perfectly smiley, just as he requested.

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We spent about five hours on Saturday figuring out our costumes. Lucas knew he wanted to be Christopher Robin from the A. A. Milne books. How impossibly cute is that? It was an easy costume to create. We added long socks and some suspenders made of ribbon and dug out my old Winnie the Pooh doll my childhood. I knew there was a good reason to save it all these years!

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Thanks to Eden’s suggestion, Ian and decided on Peter Pan and Wendy costumes. I used to have the perfect white nightie, but I turned my wardrobe upside-down and didn’t find it. Fortunately, I had a white summer dress that I combined with a white blouse to make a nightgown. A pretty blue bow in my hair was about all I needed to complete the look. Ian easily transformed some cheap, green shorts and a green shirt from Target into a Peter Pan outfit with some judicious dagging. You might say we were a pretty literary bunch this year.

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Grandma and Tolly Dog, who had been away for a month in Tahoe, came home to come out trick-or-treating with us. Ian’s sister Kellie and her boyfriend Matt came along, too. Kellie took this terrific photo of all four of us.

Unfortunately, despite many attempts at finding a costume that Asher would tolerate, we failed. We offered him all kinds of options, which he would agree with at first, but then refused to actually put on. He had talked about being Thomas the Tank Engine and a “big dragon with big teeth,” but in the end, all we could get him to wear was a “super-guy” cape.

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Most of the evening, Asher wouldn’t go up to the houses, but stayed back with his family. Those who answered Lucas’s doorbell ring usually sent a piece of candy out to Asher with Lucas or me. Asher finally got up the courage to approach this house and did it properly. He seemed pretty proud of himself after that.

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The trick-or-treating was a great success and my kids brought home way too much candy. We went out pretty early in the evening so we could get to the Pumpkin Path at Sacramento Waldorf School at 7 p.m.

The Pumpkin Path was wonderful as always! The children (and their parents) were guided by their Angel Guide along a windy path through the school that was  lighted by jacks and luminairies. They saw skits of toymakers, magic scarecrows, a fable about the lion and the mouse, the race of the hare and the tortoise, singing fairies in the glen, a contest of strength between the sun and the wind, and more. At each station the kids were given a trinket, toy, or edible treat. The best part about the Pumpkin Path this year was the way Lucas guided his little brother, helping him over tree roots in the ground or up and down steps, staying by Asher’s side so he wouldn’t be scared in the night. It was so heartwarming to see Lucas take care of Asher in this way. And Asher gleefully trooped along after Lucas. Last year, we carried Asher through it. This year, he went on his own.

We rounded out the evening with a party at our friends’ house. It was a perfect Halloween!

  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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