Lucas has two more days of school and then … twelve weeks of summer vacation. I have mixed feelings.

We went to the final parent evening Tuesday night to say “thank you” to the teachers, present them with gifts, and listen to their take on the last few weeks. The older children have been sewing their own puppets. The teacher has to make up a story that includes every child’s puppet in the drama. (Today the puppet show was practiced, tomorrow it will be told to the class’s younger children and their Little Ones.) It’s exciting to see how far they’ve all come during the year. The teachers gave each family a small book of about 6-8 photos of their child taken during the year.

Yesterday morning we were in the classroom briefly for the final Parent Tea. We were presented with a giant portfolio of Lucas’s artwork. It contains many crayon drawings and many wet-on-wet watercolor paintings. One drawing stuck out: An orange and green airplane flies through a black swirling sky. At the bottom of the picture, the teacher had written “After talking about mommy being in the hospital, ‘a brave little airplane flying through a tornado.'” It is dated 2/5/07.

I am so proud of Lucas. He has done beautifully in the Red Rose Kindergarten. I am very happy knowing that he will be held, loved and safe, in the Red Rose again next year. He has blossomed in so many ways. He has made many friends and become beloved of both girls and boys. He’s learned to be tough in the elements and to trust his teachers to take him into magical lands. He has become enraptured by the stories and myths. I’m so, so glad we’ve been able to send him to this school.

Asher has found his penis! I am so happy for him.

We Wilsons all went to Apple Hill yesterday to see what there was to see and get the hell out of town. (That was my dearest wish for our anniversary: to see something NEW.) We went to Cameron Park and ate mediocre sandwiches and good ice cream cones. The we drove to Camino and visited the Jack Russell brewery and hung out on their lawn in the hills with sunshine and evergreens all around. (Nice place. You should go there sometime.) Then we hit Boa Vista Orchards’ market and bought FRUIT.

apples, peaches, apricots, cherries, strawberries, plums
and a frozen apple pie

I’m still in my I-can-eat-anything-I-want-because-I’m-nursing-and-I-almost-died-and-it’s-my-birthday/anniversary mode, but it’s definitely catching up with me. Damn! So hard to say no to summer fruits!

“Lucas, don’t stick your fork into your penis. … If I have to, I’ll make you wear pants at the table.”

Happy Anniversary, my love. Twenty years ago we met and became friends. Seventeen years ago we started dating. Thirteen years ago were were flitting around Europe together. Twelve years ago today we were married (http://sarabellae.livejournal.com/48266.html#cutid1). Eight years ago we were in the process of buying our home. Five years ago we were new parents, struggling to figure out how to care for baby Lucas. Today, we who were two are now four: we’re loving and raising the two most beautiful baby boys in the entire universe.

I am so happy, Bascha. You are my spark and my quiet place. Thank you for being my husband. I am proud to be your wife.

It is kind of a dorky observation, but sometimes I am amazed that this baby is ALIVE. One day he didn’t exist, and the next day he did. One day I had only to take care of myself for him to continue being, and the next day I had to assume all kinds of separate tasks to care for him because he is now here.

Truly, I am amazed at his tenacity. He goes to sleep and then later wakes up. He suffers through my bumbling and smiles at me still. I ponder about how completely helpless he is. Human infants can do almost nothing to ensure their own survival. And yet, he hangs on. He fights. He reminds. He persuades. He clings to life. It’s truly amazing that any of us survives infancy.

There are a million things we do for Asher every day. When I was small, my parents did those million things for me, day after day. Yours did them for you. Amazing.

Some parents are crappy parents. Some are pathetic and ill-equipped at the beginning and gradually get better, honing their parenting skills and figuring shit out. Other parents are great at caring for cute babies but are sucky with kids and even worse with teens. But even kids of shitty parents often survive! Wow.

This post is going to my closest friends only.

Today I had my third pelvic ultrasound (TVS, or transvaginal sonogram) since Asher’s birth. This was to follow up on an ovarian cyst they found during the last ultrasound. We’re hoping it is now gone, which is something cysts do: they appear and go away and only rarely are detected. Most ovarian cysts are nothing to worry about. Some are cancer.

Pelvic ultrasounds are not too bad, although the techs make you drink tons of water and don’t let you go pee until after the ultrasound is done. The tech also sticks a wand up your coochie and wiggles it around while you stare at the accoustic ceiling tiles. She doesn’t even give you her name, so it’s very impersonal. At least you usually know your OB/GYN’s name. Anyway, the procedure took just fifteen minutes or so.

Tomorrow I have to go to a lab and have some more blood drawn. This time they’re going to test for a particular marker (CA-125) that detects cancer. Fun, fun.

So here’s hoping they don’t find anything at all!

I had a fantastic weekend with family and friends. I drank margaritas and jack ‘n’ diet cokes. I wore sexy high heels and a party dress. I received my first orchid corsage and my first orchid plant. I planted in my garden with my boys: new verbena, lavender, agapanthus, evening primrose, african daisies, carpet roses, and hydrangea are now in the ground. (Thank you, Ian!) I had five whole waking hours without my kids. I ate pie! I went swimming. I received hugs and kisses. It was delightful.

So, thank you for the hospitality: Kimkimkaree, Thaemos, FCL, and Grl_Fury. Thank you for the labor, Ian. For the gifts: Mikibean, Parnasus, NoNo, Mars, and everyone–Thank you. I’m the luckiest girl alive!

Elimination Communication or Natural Infant Hygiene

So, because Kimmie posted about EC on her LJ back in January(?), I checked out a book from the Sac Public library called Infant Potty Training. I read the book with a healthy measure of skepticism, but by the end, I was pretty excited about the possibility—after all, much of the world doesn’t use diapers of any kind, and they raise gobs of babies. I did not do much beyond puzzle about how to accomplish it logistically and begin making the cuing sounds (ssss or a grunting noise) whenever I was aware that Asher was actually eliminating, in the hopes that he’d learn the association of the action with the sound.

(Aside: I read a book a few years ago about the importance of women’s work in ancient world, specifically about weaving and how woven cloth was highly valued and functioned as trade currency in ancient Mesopotamian society. I remember wondering at the time how these ancient people kept their babies clean and dry if cloth was, in effect, the most valuable item in the household.)

EC is not about “training” your baby. It’s about becoming familiar enough with his rhythms and watching for his signs and communications that he needs to go, then giving him an opportunity to go into a receptacle of your choice. It’s also about refusing to let your baby sit in a messy or wet diaper for any length of time if you can avoid it. It’s about knowing your baby so well, and helping him learn about where to go potty, so that he can go diaper free!

Last Wednesday, on May 16, I went to a talk about EC given by two mommies who are members of the Mothers’ Support Network and are practicing EC with their daughters. One mommy has been practicing it since her daughter was around 4 months old (the child is 11 months now) and the other mommy has been doing it since her daughter’s birth (the child is now 4 or 5 months old). I went to the talk because I was intrigued and wanted to hear about the practical application of the things I read in the book. It was useful and inspiring. I bought a book that day called Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene and drove to Goores to buy a tiny potty seat (the same one that these mommies use).

The next day Asher and I tried to use his new potty. It was midafternoon. I put him on it and made our cuing sounds…. And. He. Pooped.

Holy Diapers, Batman!

Thurs, 5/17: caught a poop
Fri, 5/18: caught a pee
Sat, 5/19: caught three pees in a row around midday
Sun, 5/20: Although I tried a number of times, my timing was off. Ian, however, tried one time and Asher peed in the potty. Ian had to come and ask me if the potty had actually been dry before he sat Asher upon it, because he didn’t quite believe that it had worked.
Mon, 5/21: caught 5 pees and 2 poops
5/22: about 4 pees
5/23: 5 pees and a poop

My God. It’s working.

http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/5-diap/42-natural-infant-hygiene.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication

Home

http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/shop/index.php/action/item/id/12/

Last weekend, we planted our vegetable and herb garden. (Starter plants and five hours of good hot labor from Ian is a lovely birthday gift.)

Technically, we mostly planted fruits (tomatoes, zuchini, summer squash, japanese eggplant, yellow bell peppers, watermelon, cantalope, cucumber) and some green and purple basil, golden thyme, oregano. We planted some green beans from seed and have some pumpkin seeds to sow still. Our little plot is off the kitchen patio and in the ground. It’s not as sexy looking as Dakini’s beautiful raised beds, but it will likley do the job. The drip system’s working and we moved some flag stones in so we can stand in between the plants. I mulched the plants well this time, so I think we’ll have less water evaporating off them. We’ve also created a path of flagstones from the patio to the fenced-off garbage can area. We plan to put mosses and thymes in between the stones.

I usually ask for plants for my birthday. (It’s not like I need more stuff in my house.) I got a nursery gift certificate yesterday for my birthday and this morning my father arrived with a bunch of bedding plants: mostly perennials because I LOVE flowers. In fact, I love flowers so much, there’s really not much space left in my yard to grow food! I’m thinking of planting a tree rose near my front door …. I wonder what color would look best.

I love to garden in spring. When I was a child, we had an iris in our front yard that always bloomed around my birthday. My mother called it my birthday flower and it was really special to me. Maybe that’s why May is for flowers in my mind.