“I like some food everyday!”

“Daddy, do fish have eyebrows?”

Easter was a little chilly and overcast this year, but we had a lovely time anyway. For the first time in…oh…15 years or so, Ian (and Lucas) and I attended church! We went to the Unitarian Universalist Society of Sacramento service and listened to a sermon on transformation—except it wasn’t so much a sermon as a story about a little mouse, which was literally acted out by the three ministers. We sat with Kelly and Ambrosia (who’s almost two) and played at the playground with them afterward.

Then we headed over to RoRo and Nana’s house. Unlike most years, it was a pretty small crowd this time. That didn’t stop RoRo and Nana from insisting on a huge feast, nor did it prevent their helpers (Julie, Michael John, Sue E., etc.) from dying 13 dozen eggs (at RoRo’s urging), however. It really was quite ridiculous. There were Easter gifts for many family members who weren’t able to be there, and really, Lucas was the only true child to hunt the eggs. Imagine, thirteen dozen eggs (plus the two dozen eggs that we brought) for one almost-three-year-old, a twelve-year-old, and a sixteen-year-old! This time, the bunny helpers hunted eggs too. I think we came home with 28 eggs.

Later, we visited Chris and David’s house. Saw Dana and Ricky and Tyler and McKenzie there. Lucas was sad that Casey wasn’t there. After they left to race home and pick up Casey from his dad, Lucas was bopping a balloon around the living room and tripped and cracked his little chin open on the coffee table. It was scary, and painful. And scary. We grown-ups were more upset about it than Lucas was though. We fussed around with different size band-aides and bandages. The antibiotic ointment prevented a number of them from sticking to his chin and properly closing up the gash. We debated about whether to take him to Urgent Care to get stitches. While we were busy with all that, Lucas found his balloon and began chasing and bopping it in the air again.

We colored Easter eggs today. We actually used one box of egg dye that we bought last Easter and, for some frugal reason, saved for a whole year in our kitchen cupboard. I probably saved it more because I really like that dying method than because I didn’t want to waste the $2.49. Anyway, dying eggs with Ian and Lucas was great fun.

A whole bunch of colored Easter eggs is somehow very uplifting for me. Maybe it’s the colors—the diversity of pastels and brights, patches and tie-dye mixes all peacefully cohabiting the basket or egg carton that fills me with such joy. Maybe it’s the fact that they are lovely little goddess packages on a “Christian” holiday that I like so much. I guess it could simply be joyful childhood anticipation of hunting the eggs on Easter, even though I’m a grown-up now. This Easter, I am eager to see Lucas enjoy the family traditions.

Anyway, we used little packets of bright dye and little plastic baggies to make “tie-dyed” eggs. Place a couple of drops of dye in a baggie, add one hard-boiled egg, and squish the baggie around the egg until the egg is covered with the desired harmony of colors. It’s a method that Lucas could do quite successfully without getting dye all over the place and the resulting eggs were gorgeous and bright. (Much brighter than the standard vinegar/dye soaking method, and also much quicker results!)

Ian couldn’t resist purchasing another dye package, despite the fact that we had one already, though. This one involved little sponges that you dipped into the dye and sponged onto the egg’s shell. Lucas had a little more trouble with this one—or rather, I should say it was messy, and he loved it. It required a lighter touch than he is really capable of right now. Still, the eggs were cute. We colored two dozen eggs.

Most importantly, it was a wonderful way to spend the morning together. A little later Grandpa Glen came over and presented Lucas with an Easter basket. It came with a fluffy white bunny and a ton of candy. Lucas was very pleased to see him, and very excited about the candy—most of which disappeared, mysteriously…

Darn! It’s been a month since I wrote last. It seems like every day something funny or important or scary or deserving of preservation happens, and I think “Oh, later I’ve got to write about that amazing occurrence.” And then I get busy or stay busy, and I don’t write about it and then I forget. Sometimes I deliberately try to remember some perfect Lucas Moment long enough to tell Ian about it when he gets home from work, and five minutes later, I can’t remember what it was to save my life! They say motherhood makes you dumb. I don’t feel dumb, exactly. But motherhood has definitely rerouted my neural net and my old, efficient, and clever ways of thinking are running on auxiliary power at best. Where did all my smarts go?

So, what’s the Lucas Update now that he’s nearly 35 months old?

Lucas is potty training!

No really. Not like the last 6 months, during which we have flirted with the tantalizing idea of potty training. Now we’re in the big time. Now things are really connecting! NOW we have many more Successes than Failures.

We put him in Big Boy Underpants (cloth trainers) about 3 weeks ago—probably March 5. So he’s been wearing those during the day (except at naptime), at preschool, at home, and even out of the house!

Honestly, I’m totally, completely proud of him. I’m the Lucas Potty Cheerleader (the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders’ frumpy mommy friend). Lucas has had a number of days with ZERO accidents. He’s had some dry naps too. And this morning, when I got him out of bed, his pull-up was DRY!

We have a Dry Pants sticker chart and we perform random dry pants spot inspections. If he’s dry (like from morning to lunch, for example) he gets a sticker on his chart. Five stickers gets him a special treat (ice cream, candy—I know, I know. Great nutrition there, Mom!)

Let’s see….We’ve been sick lately. Strep throat. I’m honestly not sure if Lucas got it first and gave it to me or if it was the other way around. I know the symptoms, and when I was really suffering last weekend (especially Saturday and Sunday) I decided to get a throat culture. Twenty-four hours later I had the results and meds. A couple more days went by and Lucas complained of a sore throat. I was feeling paranoid and not at all interested in having him sick over Easter weekend (I knew how terrible I felt), so I made Ian take him to Kaiser. Sure enough, today we got the call that his culture is positive for strep. So, back to Kaiser we drove tonight to pick up his antibiotics. That makes four trips this week. But you know, when I think about it, a couple of weeks ago Lucas was complaining of a sore throat. He made me kiss the air in his open mouth to make his throat feel better. I thought he just had a cold and cough and fever, and treated him with ibuprofen and cough syrup, but I wonder if that wasn’t the really painful part of the strep infection and that maybe he just still has it. So, as I said, I don’t know which of us got it first.

Ian has been home this week for Spring break. I kinda browbeat him into taking this week off instead of next week because Lucas had no preschool this week. I’m really grateful he was home because I was so miserable. Unfortunately Ian’s been sick too. Maybe strep or maybe something else. Who knows? He won’t get tested.

Well, things are better now. Lucas feels good again; the antibiotics worked like a charm. The nasty behavior lasted about as long as the antibiotics did, but the 9th was definitely the worst of it. He never got as obnoxious as that again. He even got to the point where he was taking the antibiotics without complaint—just about when we ran out of the stuff.

Since I last wrote we actually had our first parent-teacher conference. Miss Karen came to our house on Saturday the 19th and we chatted about how Lucas is doing at Little Gate preschool and how he’s developing. Obviously, he is very articulate, but he’s now learning how to communicate his needs to other children. She says his sharing skills have improved and he’s learning to negotiate. She is glad to see that he now has more varied play. At preschool he plays with the kitchen and the blocks (which are natural branch blocks, not unit blocks), as well as the train set. She says he builds “towers” and “castles” and “tunnels.” His creative, imaginative life is blossoming. Lucas is also very interested in cutting with scissors. Karen really has to watch him with scissors because he occasionally says things like “I’m going to cut you” or “cut hair.” Basically, he’s testing the boundaries. When that happens, he loses scissor privileges for the rest of the day. Karen also says that Lucas’s physical well-being really seems to affect his mood and behavior—I’ve noticed the same thing myself. His fine motor and gross motor skills are developing apace. Outside he enjoys the slides, the sand box, and also balancing on things. Karen thinks he really enjoys the kinesthetic and tactile things like sand.

Karen also recommended we put him on probiotics to counteract the negative affects of the antibiotics.

I haven’t mentioned this yet, but one new development in Lucas’s life is that he’s become obsessed with alphabet letters and writing. Beginning at the end of January, he began writing some letters. Now, he hardly scribbles anymore, he’s always writing letters. He can write E, F, I, H, A, B, J, O, P, U, W, and X. That’s nearly half the alphabet. E and F are his current favorites. Sometimes the E has more than three horizontal bars—sometimes it has many, as if the excitement and enthusiasm he feels about E can’t be contained in only four lines. However, it’s truly unmistakable that writing letters is what he’s doing. He’ll tell ya all about it too.

Lucas is also interested in the magnetic letters on the fridge. Sometimes they are put away and sometimes they are out. Lately he wants them out and he wants to spell words with them. They are no longer just building long letter “trains” like before. Now he says the letters in order, then says “that spells Dad.” He knows how to spell his name: “L-U-C-A-S spells Lucas!” and “M-O-M spells Mommy” and “D-A-D spells Dad.”

Oh, and he’s into making letter shapes with his fingers too. He makes O, C, and L (that one he makes with his left hand, like I showed him). I’m thinking of starting to teach the ASL finger alphabet since he’s so interested.

Another thing worth mentioning. VoVo says that last week Lucas asked, “Did Puffer Cat died?” Grandma said yes, he did. Lucas replied, “When he’s undied, he’ll come back.”

My son is sick with lung and ear infections. (This is completely and totally unrelated to the vomit-mania that occurred last Friday. He started getting sick with a brand-new cold on Sunday the 6th.)

We spent 6 hours in the Emergency Room last night with Lucas coughing terribly and burning a 103-104 degree F fever. Now we are armed with antibiotics, fever-reducing suppositories (he gags and spits up any oral cough or fever-reducing medicine), and medication for his lungs to be administered by nebulizer. Needless to say, I have not been able to accomplish much editing on the 5 projects I am currently juggling.

Childcare is great (and essential) for freelancing/WAH/working parents, except when your child is sick. Caregivers don’t want a sick kid. And other children’s parents certainly don’t want Lucas’s germs. If I had a job and weren’t self-employed, I’d take a sick day (or three), stay home with Lucas, and not worry about my work not getting done. Someone else would put out fires and take care of things in my absence. But, being self-employed, the buck stops here. And it’s my ass if I miss a deadline.

Lucas is driving me crazy. I’m running away to join the circus as soon as Ian comes home tonight.

Lucas told me today that he doesn’t like me anymore. That I’m terrible. I’m a terrible mommy. Literally! I’m not kidding! “Mommy, you’re terrible. You’re a terrible mommy!” He says he only likes daddy now.

We had tons of nap drama today. He was in his room shouting, “I’m still, still awaa—aaa-ke!” over and over again. He climbed out of his crib (a feat never before accomplished) three times directly onto the 3-foot-high bookcase that sits beside it. He threw books. Knocked over the lamp. Three times I found him either sitting or standing on this bookshelf. (It is no longer standing next to the crib.)
I swear I’m about to feed him to wolves.
Well, things have calmed down a little since the horrible napless fiasco. He completely won that battle, and by saying mean things to me, even managed to make me cry. That was a big emotional bomb for us both, because the moment he knows that I am sad, he begins bawling and sobbing about how sorry he is and how he wants me to “be happy, mommy!”

The kid is sick, and tired. And I’m sick and tired of it. Great compassion, eh? I know, it’s my job to be the unending source of all love, affection, comfort, and confidence. But quite frankly, my confidence is a little shaken right now. I’m tired from being out at Kaiser until 12:30 am. My nerves are rather frayed, and I have to keep him home tomorrow too.

Today is a Mommy Lucas Day, since it’s Friday and there’s no preschool. We had big plans for today, including a morning trip to the gym and then a visit with Gordon and Kimberlee Dawn at Fair Oaks park. Lucas woke up feeling really cheerful, but at breakfast he hardly ate his favorite cereal, Honey Bunches of Oats, and complained his tummy was “rotten.” He asked me to kiss it. He was pretty whiny, so I was trying to jolly him along into his clothes, packing a snack so he wouldn’t get hungry at the park and getting into my workout clothes.

Lucas balked at putting on a pull-up and pants and very soon threw up twice on the kitchen floor. I guess his stomach really did feel rotten. He seemed to cheer up after some sips of water. We finished getting dressed and then went outside to watch the tractor/Scoop-type loader and the county truck pick up the huge stacks of junk in front of everyone’s houses for neighborhood cleanup day. When we came inside he said, “Mommy kiss me!” and threw up in the entryway.

It’s now 2:00 pm and he’s down for a nap. It’s been maybe three hours since his last vomit–six times so far today. Poor baby. We’ve both changed clothes three times. Once he managed to do it into the toilet. Two other times in his crib and my bed. I feel so bad for him when he gets ill. There’s really so little a mother can do. Except get barfed upon and clean everything up.

I hope he sleeps well and wakes up feeling better. At least his mood has been pretty cheerful, all things considered. The sun is shining outside and it’s a beautiful day. Maybe later he’ll be able to play in the back yard.

We went up to the Cabin in South Lake Tahoe with Anne and Mario. Lucas loved the snow! We walked in it, dug in it, tasted it, and rode a sled near the Cabin. It didn’t stick too well, so there weren’t many proper snowballs. Lucas really enjoyed licking and sucking on the icicles that form on the eaves and under the deck. We got some cute photos too. We went up to the Cabin once the year before last, when he was still a baby, but he doesn’t remember that. This was the fun introduction to snow that I had hoped for.

Well, the holidays are over, thank goodness. We’re hoping that things can get back to normal now. It really was a lovely Christmas season, even if my work was crazy busy the whole time and our shopping was entirely too condensed and frantic. Thanks to some money from Mueller Properties, we didn’t go too much into debt this year, though I haven’t done the whole tally yet. Honestly, I probably won’t ever do it.

Lucas is currently off with Grandma VoVo—hopefully asleep at her house. I should be proofreading a book about global human rights, instead of writing this. Today is Ian’s first day back to work after having a week off. It was wonderful having him home. Lucas is happiest when we’re both here. His relatively few behavior problems are much reduced when both of his parents are around to give him the attention and boundaries he needs. In fact, it’s possibly premature to say it, but it seems that we’ve come through some of the icky behavior problems that started in August and went into November. The worst ones were his rejection of and hitting and hostility toward his dad. His level of jealously seems lower and he’s seeming more secure and able to entertain himself. Probably all of this is just perfectly normal. But it was rather difficult to see my little angel boy turn into a tantruming toddler at 28 months old. Now he’s 32 months old, and he is more and more the little boy now.

Santa Claus was really wonderful to us this year. Lucas got something like 14 new train cars/engines for Christmas. He also got Duplos, Little People play sets and characters, tools, a tool belt with suspenders from Papa, a hand-knit sweater from Lisa, a train table from Santa, picture tiles, several books, a wooden tractor, from me and Ian, clothes from RoRo and Nana, Little Engine that Could board books, a Christmas Story anthology from Grandpa Glen, a Thomas the Tank Engine loader toy-thingy from Jonathan, and more and more and more. The Thomas trains and Little People are by far his favorites. He’s played with them exclusively since Christmas. Fortunately, most of our friends did not load us down with gifts for Lucas. I am planning to pack up several toys to send to Anne and Mario’s house, so that when we visit there, Lucas has some stuff to play with.

We observed Advent nearly every day. Chris and Kelly made Lucas a neat Advent calendar that was a wall-hanging with 24 little boxes. He got to open one box per day, and they contained little items and toys. We had a pretty Waldorf-style Advent calendar that slowly revealed a beautiful picture. And we lit Advent candles nearly every night. It was a lot of ritual! Lucas seemed to enjoy it all, especially when he got to carry a lit candle.

Tomorrow Lucas goes back to preschool after having had a two-week vacation. He sounds enthusiastic about going back, but we’ll see.