• Mom and Dad have been in Europe since the 8th. VoVo and DiDi are in Oaklahoma and left on the 19th. Neither set of babysitters…uh, grandparents… will return until July. Lame.
• Had 2 half days of work at Sacramento Magazine for shipout. It was fun to go and work in the world for a little while and be around other people.
• Went to a party at Jane’s new home in Sac. Saw old high school chums
• Lucas was off school for two weeks, but returned to do the Little Gate summer program starting on the 20th. Lucas’s behavior lately has been really challenging. I partly blame the schedule interruption for it. I also wonder if his aggressive behavior is partly from taking the prednisone and antibiotics? This is something I’m going to watch. It seems like anytime he get’s really sick (and takes medicine), he goes a little haywire. This time it’s hitting me and dad. Striking out at other kids, etc. All the most obnoxious stuff. One Sunday at the day care at church, a kid bit Lucas’s hand. He/she SHOWED Lucas that biting in anger can hurt other people. Since then, Lucas has bit me several times and probably Ian too. He’s had a LOT of time outs lately. He’s really testing his boundaries in a major way.
• For example, one day, June 6, RoRo took me to the Windmill Nursery to buy me plants for my birthday. (Actually, I took her and Lucas.) Lucas was so difficult—he ran away, he hit me, etc., that we really had a lousy time. I was having to spend so much of my attention on L that RoRo was kinda on her own, hobbling along pushing her shopping cart, which helps to keep her on her feet. Basically it was a disaster
• RoRo and Glen both had another birthday. For Glen, we took him to a concert at the Sacramento Zoo on the solstice (his actual birthday is the 23rd). Joe Craven was playing jazzy mandolin. It was fun and we got to roam the zoo after hours with Lucas. Lucas quietly appropriated the toys of the small boy named Everest sitting next to us on the lawn. His parents were cool, and the boys played together. Lucas got filthy. It was a good time.
RoRo’s birthday is on the summer solstice (21st). We were at the zoo that night, but we went to her party on Saturday the 25th. It was a typical family birthday party. Some were surly, some friendly. This time we got her a present that she might actually use: a lavender purse/handbag.
• On a positive note, Lucas’s imagination seems to have taken over. His toy trains have very elaborate dialogues, exciting adventures, and interpersonal problems and resolutions. It’s very interesting to listen to.
• Recent Lucas quotes:
—“I’m trillobananabun. That means I’m eating breakfast!”
—tonight, coming down a flight of stairs, he turns, goes back up and says, “I’m rescuing a kitten. She’s blue.” He gently cradled the kitten while coming downstairs.
• This month, Lucas has spent a lot more time with T at the Bs’ place. I’ve seen him picking up her mannerisms, sense of humor, love of the absurd, etc. Sometimes it’s even charming.
• X turned two on June 14th. We went to his birthday party on the 18th. We got him two books—Is Your Mama a Llama? and Freight Train.

Let’s see… News from my exciting life, which I lead while living no less than 10 minutes by car from my family’s home…

Ian and I just had our 10 year wedding anniversary last Friday. Yikes. I’m still giddy-in-love with him and our trip to parentland has been difficult and challenging, but also has deepened our relationship with each other. I know it sounds goofy, but I am truly honored to be a part of this little family of three that we have built.

Ian is working for a company who provides early intervention services for children with autism. Although when he started he was working directly with the children, he now is doing a lot more management of consultants, cases, and deals with the funding agencies (such as school districts and the California state regional centers). The business belongs to an old friend, and Ian is working really hard to make it viable in the long term. It’s good work, but stressful sometimes. He often has to deal with parents who are somewhat crazy with grief over their child’s disability, and a model of in-home programs that leads to a handful of annoying problems like staffing. Still, he love it because he’s working to help little kids who might otherwise fall through the cracks.

I am still my own boss and we’re coming up on my 2-year anniversary of being in business for myself. I’m a good editor, but not a great business person. So I try to keep the business stuff really simple. I have a handful of regular clients. Lately I’ve been working on nursing and allied health textbooks for Pearson Education. With three other women, I am co-writing a medical terminology textbook this year. I love that project because it will lead to residual income in the form of royalties. My current challenge is to figure out how to work smarter (and not harder), in order to make more $. I’m able to be more selective about the projects I take on now, which is a good feeling. I’ve also been doing a bit of freelance writing for Sacramento Magazine this past year. I’m currently working on my fifth article for them. (I actually interned with Sacramento Magazine back in 96. We starved that year because of it, but that internship has paid off nicely since I’ve been freelancing.) I should probably try to expand and get published by other magazines, but I’m busy and lazy at the same time. I am, after all, still raising a small child.

Lucas is…loving, wonderful, clever, charming, smart, infuriating, independent, clingy, funny, graceful, clumsy, friendly, amazing, and confounding. I’m finding that three is an age of contradictions and paradoxes. Most of the time we enjoy him completely; sometimes I can’t wait to ship him off to grandma’s house or daycare or just about anywhere else. He is sweet as pie for others and saves his most challenging behaviors for me and Ian. This is textbook three-year-old.

Ian and I are starting to think about having another child—a thought that fills me with a warm and cozy feeling and a deep dread at the same time. (Maybe thirty-three is also an age of contradictions and paradoxes?) Like I said above, I sort of now feel like my old self has emerged from the fog of new-parenthood. I have my body back, my mind functioning again, and a lot more freedom to come and go when I need to. So, the idea of walking back into that cloudy dreamland of sleep deprivation and lactation and baby fat is pretty terrifying. On the other hand, I do want to have another baby and I don’t want to be 35 or older when I do it, nor do I want my children to be too far apart in age…. Basically, I am still completely neurotic, but now I can see that clearly.

Took Lucas to the doctor today. He is allergic to mosquito bites and is having a “Wow” reaction (according to the doctor). Now he has to take benadryl and prednisone to control the allergic response and antibiotics to prevent secondary infection from itching.

Today is our 10th anniversary!!

Today was the last day of preschool. Until summer school starts, that is. I’ve been dreading this day a bit, because it’s going to be tough having Lucas off for 2 weeks. After much hemming and hawing, it sounds like Karen will be having summer session—but I still don’t know if Lucas will go 3 full days or 4 mornings per week. I have a feeling he’ll enjoy the four mornings more, but I don’t know how that will affect my work. It sounds like Kimberlee and Emma will attend summer session with Lucas. I’m really hoping my friend Holly will bring Teryn too.

Anyway, tonight we had a potluck picnic at the bird track park on Pheasant. Kevan and her mom Nora were there with Karla, Nick, and Julie. Anna was there with Emma. Cindy, Gordon, Kimberlee and Joe (their teenage roommate) were there too. It was a lot of fun and there was yummy food. Of course, Lucas was so distracted by the kids and being in the playground that he hardly ate at all. The weather was beautiful. (We have had such a mild summer so far.)

We Wilsons presented Miss Karen with a cement and glass stepping stone that we made for her garden. Ian designed it to have two roses, one red and one orange, with crossing stems, and there’s a little white arch in the back to represent Karen’s white garden archway that we have passed through every single day of school. Lucas helped place the stained glass into the wet cement and tapped them down lightly. Karen had gifts of baby dolls for all the children too. Lucas’s doll is blue—of course.

Recently the children made stick horses at Little Gate. Lucas’s stick horse is, of course, blue. They’re stuffed with wool that the children carded themselves. Lucas chose red buttons for eyes and Karen says he helped her sew them on. It has a little finger-knitted bridle out of yarn. I think its name is Mr. Ed. Lucas brought Mr. Ed home today, and he desperately wanted to bring him along to the picnic.

The handmade stick horse really serendipitous too, because Lucas has been really interested in cowboys since his birthday. He got the Woody doll (à la Toy Story—even though Lucas has not seen the movie) from us for his birthday. He actually asked for a Woody doll for last Christmas. For months he has shown a distinct preference for the pull-ups that have Woody on them over the ones that have Buzz Lightyear—ever since the Woody design was introduced. For the last couple of weeks, Lucas has been wearing the cowboy hat that Glen gave to Ian when Ian was a boy. He’s rediscovered his rocking horse too. Sometimes Woody rides it, sometimes Lucas, sometimes they both ride it.

It appears Lucas has developed an allergy to mosquito bites. I didn’t know one could actually be allergic to mosquito venom, but I poked around on the Internet tonight and confirmed it. I’ve been suspecting that he is having a greater-than-normal reaction to them for a week or so. He got several bites that swelled up and became quite inflamed, then they were open wounds for many days. Actually—they still haven’t healed completely. Unfortunately, today, Lucas came home from school with probably 10 new bites. I guess he might have gotten some of them here yesterday evening, but I didn’t notice. Now, however, he’s swollen all over with bites. I bought some anti-itch stuff and covered his welts with band aids. We put hydrocortisone on his left side and the new anti-itch gel on his right. Tomorrow we’ll see if there’s any visible difference. I may run to the grocery store tomorrow and buy the Merkel family mosquito bite remedy: roll-on antiperspirant with the aluminum salts in it that you aren’t supposed to use in your armpits anymore. I’ve actually read in magazines within the last year that it works to reduce the swelling and stop the itching—so it’s not just a Merkel legend born in the coastal jungles of Mexico in … what… 1982. Dang! Why didn’t I think about that today when I was buying food for tonight’s picnic?

I came home this evening to find Lucas’s toenails all colored blue/purple with marker pen. He did it himself. When dad wasn’t looking.

Just packed Lucas off to grandma’s house for the day so I can work. Totally swamped with projects right now and feeling exhausted, even though I just had a weekend. I worked both Saturday and Sunday.

On Saturday, Lucas and Ian went to the zoo for a few hours. Apparently, Lucas spent more time chugging around the zoo than looking at the animals. Whatever. They got out together for a while. I’m happy when they can do special things together. Ian gets too little time with him. Later on Saturday, even I got out of the house for a while to go to the park to picnic with friends. Foseelovechild and Grlfury, Kimkimkaree and AndrewRed, Thaemos and Pirategirl, Dakini_grl, Zindalo and us all ate together and played on the playground. Thaemos really has a way with kids. He carried Lucas around on his shoulders and together they built some pretty awesome sand castles. Well—Thaemos built them and Lucas stomped them down to dust.

Those three hours outside and away from my house were very therapeutic for me. Sometimes I really feel trapped here because I live and work in the same place. My work is always calling to me because it’s never done and I never get away from it. I’m considering getting a laptop so I can work elsewhere once in a while. Maybe I’ll even set up a work station at Dad’s office just to get out of the house sometimes.

Sunday we went to church at the UUSS. Glen decided to join us, which I must say was rather weird. The UUs are an extremely liberal group of people and he’s definitely what they call a neo-con. Naturally, the sermon was on the very controversial issue of peace and pacifism. We were all made uncomfortable by the inadequate mix of Glen’s oil with UU (and our) water.

Afterward, we were able to present Kelly with the Mother’s Day present we had for her. Perhaps I mentioned that we took Ambrosia to get her portraits taken at Penny’s a few weeks ago? Well, they turned out beautifully, and we gave them to Kelly as a late Mom’s Day present. I had been a little nervous about how this gift would be received. I thought maybe it was a little psycho to borrow someone else’s kid and take her for pictures, but Kelly loved the gift. So, yay!

Later on Sunday, NoNo and MrPlanet4 joined us for lunch. We barbequed chicken and enjoyed the humid, hot and rainy weather outside.

Lucas went to his second dentist appointment with uncle Terry Jones, dentist extraordinaire. Lucas was great! No fear, very patient and cooperative with Karen the hygienist. She had a really great manner too. She showed him all the tools and let him use them before she put them anywhere near his mouth. She named the water tool and the suction tool (Mr. Thirsty) and the polishing too, and explained to him that you have to brush and clean your teeth really good to get the sugar bugs off your teeth. He just sat quietly, enjoyed making Mr. Thirsty drink from a cup of water.

On the way to church on Sunday morning, Lucas told us about a dream he had had. He said the Radio Star girls came into his bedroom while he was sleeping and started singing and dancing and they woke him up.

Later that day, we went to Theomos and Pirategirl’s house to have dinner with them. We barbecued and Lucas remembered seeing T and MrPlanet4 play the Super Nintendo the previous Sunday. He clearly remembered the name of the game too, because he announced “I have a video game. It’s called Lucas Brothers 3”

We are all recovering from a party weekend. We went to Ambrosia’s second birthday party on Saturday and got to meet Kelly’s parents, brother and sister-in-law, and some of her friends. I really hit it off with her friend Michelle, and I hope I get to see her again sometime. The kids had a wonderful time digging in the dirt at Howe Avenue Park. (The party favors for the children were toy shovels and buckets. Thankfully Lucas did not pitch a fit when he was given the green bucket instead of the blue one!)

Mom and I met up after the party to go shopping. I think she feels sorry for our being poor, so she bought me two pairs of sandles and a top, skirt, and crop-pants. We had fun. I like seeing her spend cash on herself—I know that it’s always been hard on her. I think she bought herself four pairs of shoes and two outfits. We had a lot of fun.

Ian and I partied all of Saturday night with friends. We had a lovely time being irresponsible while Lucas was tucked safely away with my parents for the night. He really seems to enjoy the occasional overnight at the grandparents’ houses. He gets completely spoiled and gets to play—in this case—with Papa’s trains. Did I mention my father owns more toy train track pieces than we do?

Lucas also gets to use his very own mini-toilet that Papa installed for him in my old bedroom. It’s so totally cute and ridiculous a the same time—it’s only about 10 inches off the ground and is a perfect miniature, working, flushing toilet. My dad is smug as can be about getting it for Lucas. Old people can be weird.

Anyway, we all had a nice weekend. After we picked L up from mom and dad’s we went back to Tom’s and barbequed and hung out for the rest of the day. After a little struggle, I even managed to convince Lucas to take a nap in Tom’s spare bedroom.

We just had a nice weekend together. The weather was gorgeous both days, and we went to Fair Oaks park on Saturday for a picnic. Cheap, easy, satisfying family fun. It is nice just spending time together as a family.

On Sunday Lucas got to go to the zoo with Cindy and Kimberlee Dawn. We fuddy-duddy parents stayed home and worked—I worked to make money, Ian studied and did some of his online coursework for the first of four classes that he needs for a BCBA certification (it’s for behavior analysts). The beautiful day—perhaps the most beautiful day so far this year, marched on while we stared at computer screens in a stuffy office bedroom.

I don’t really know how the zoo trip went because my dad actually picked Lucas up from Cindy. Ian and I went to a memorial service for Kimkimkaree’s stepmother Monica. I know that Lucas commented to Papa that there are no elephants at the zoo. He did admit to seeing monkeys and flamingoes when I grilled him later. I hope Cindy had fun—she seemed a little nervous about taking care of a three-year-old, but it was all her idea in the first place.

When we picked Lucas up at my parents’ house at around 5 pm, I conned the folks into taking us to Cattleman’s for dinner. It was a nice visit and a yummy, free meal. Gotta love parents for that type of thing!

Today, Lucas was in his first fender-bender. He was with DeeDee and VoVo and a 17-year-old on a motorcycle swiped David’s driver-side mirror off the car. No biggy. They were stopped at a light and the motorcycle was driving up the white line between lanes. The funny part is that the kid has no license, no insurance, and no permission to be driving his dad’s Harley-Davidson. Tough luck for him. They had to call the police, who had to get his father to come and get him because they wouldn’t let him drive away on the bike. Apparently the kid was freaking out—he cried and sobbed and shook and blubblered and hyperventilated because he was certain his father was gonna kill him.

I wonder if Lucas will ever do something really dumb like that. It’s hard to imagine him as a 17-year-old.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The notorious question, “Why?” is now part of my darling son’s vocabulary.

We are working really hard to get a handle on our money and spending—and it kinda sucks. It means we haven’t been able to buy much this month or eat out, but I’ve thrown up my hands because the task of managing our cash flow and paying the bills has just become too much for me to handle on my own. All these years, Ian has stayed out of it because I’ve done it and too many cooks in the kitchen can be a real pain in the ass. Now Ian created a wonderful exel tool that is helping us balance our checking account for the first time ever. I’m too damned math-phobic! Anyway, this tool should help us avoid pissing away our money on bank fees. I’ll be glad when the SMUD bill returns to normal again. Right now we are atoning for being far too-liberal with our power usage because of the hot tub. Yikes.