I’m totally behind in my personal pursuits, not the least of which is this blog. I wish it weren’t the 17th of November already, but it is and I must be grateful for the small moments of LIVING (apart from work) that have happened during the last few weeks.

On the Thursday before Halloween, we visited a local pumpkin farm. This is an indispensable outing; no matter how busy I am, pumpkins must be gathered from a local field where they were grown. I swear I couldn’t live without this tradition. I know pumpkins are cheaper (by a lot) at the grocery store. I simply won’t compromise on this photo opportunity. There is something magical about seeing my boys tromping through a field looking for the perfect, rumply, dumply, blumply, pumpkin.

And so, I present some of my favorite shots from this year’s pumpkin patch visit. The rest of my favs appear on my flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sarabellae/ or click on my photos page.

How my son spent his Sunday morning.

Paper, cardboard, string, and cello tape sculpture of a horse and wagon by 7-year-old Lucas.

I wish I’d managed to write this days ago, but my work has got me hopping like crazy!

Halloween was perfect this year. It felt like such a treat to have it on a Saturday night because we could really enjoy ourselves.

Friday night before Halloween we enjoyed a great meal of pork chops, sweet potatoes, and greens and then carved our jack-o’-lantern. Parnasus and her son X joined us for the carving fun, and I finally hung up the groovy felt decorations we made the day before. This year Lucas managed to carve his own pumpkin, and made a graveyard scene showing headstones and a creepy hand coming up from a grave (What?).  Asher’s jack-o’-lantern was perfectly smiley, just as he requested.

We spent about five hours on Saturday figuring out our costumes. Lucas knew he wanted to be Christopher Robin from the A. A. Milne books. How impossibly cute is that? It was an easy costume to create. We added long socks and some suspenders made of ribbon and dug out my old Winnie the Pooh doll my childhood. I knew there was a good reason to save it all these years!

Thanks to Eden’s suggestion, Ian and decided on Peter Pan and Wendy costumes. I used to have the perfect white nightie, but I turned my wardrobe upside-down and didn’t find it. Fortunately, I had a white summer dress that I combined with a white blouse to make a nightgown. A pretty blue bow in my hair was about all I needed to complete the look. Ian easily transformed some cheap, green shorts and a green shirt from Target into a Peter Pan outfit with some judicious dagging. You might say we were a pretty literary bunch this year.

Grandma and Tolly Dog, who had been away for a month in Tahoe, came home to come out trick-or-treating with us. Ian’s sister Kellie and her boyfriend Matt came along, too. Kellie took this terrific photo of all four of us.

Unfortunately, despite many attempts at finding a costume that Asher would tolerate, we failed. We offered him all kinds of options, which he would agree with at first, but then refused to actually put on. He had talked about being Thomas the Tank Engine and a “big dragon with big teeth,” but in the end, all we could get him to wear was a “super-guy” cape.

Most of the evening, Asher wouldn’t go up to the houses, but stayed back with his family. Those who answered Lucas’s doorbell ring usually sent a piece of candy out to Asher with Lucas or me. Asher finally got up the courage to approach this house and did it properly. He seemed pretty proud of himself after that.

The trick-or-treating was a great success and my kids brought home way too much candy. We went out pretty early in the evening so we could get to the Pumpkin Path at Sacramento Waldorf School at 7 p.m.

The Pumpkin Path was wonderful as always! The children (and their parents) were guided by their Angel Guide along a windy path through the school that was  lighted by jacks and luminairies. They saw skits of toymakers, magic scarecrows, a fable about the lion and the mouse, the race of the hare and the tortoise, singing fairies in the glen, a contest of strength between the sun and the wind, and more. At each station the kids were given a trinket, toy, or edible treat. The best part about the Pumpkin Path this year was the way Lucas guided his little brother, helping him over tree roots in the ground or up and down steps, staying by Asher’s side so he wouldn’t be scared in the night. It was so heartwarming to see Lucas take care of Asher in this way. And Asher gleefully trooped along after Lucas. Last year, we carried Asher through it. This year, he went on his own.

We rounded out the evening with a party at our friends’ house. It was a perfect Halloween!

On November 1, Lucas just turned 7 and a half. I’m finding I’m feeling more relaxed around him now than I was six months ago, which I think is because the sharp edges of his emotional states seem to have gradually rounded off. He is still more “feeling” at times that I’m comfortable with, but he’s not lashing out in huge outbursts indiscriminately anymore. Many emotions are easy to deal with, but some are hard and have a big impact on those around him. This is a huge relief.

Now, we are seeing a Lucas who is more confident, more comfortable, and more engaged. He likes being in school and having all those friends around him. He likes learning new things and his mind is an amazing sponge. His reading is coming along, and we find we can no longer spell words we would rather he not hear because he can often decode them!

We have been treated this fall to some wonderful tales about saints, and Lucas has been working really hard in his Math main lesson block. I’m told that the children are earning their golden Math Crowns by counting, and then they earn jewels to go on their crowns when they successfully recite their times tables.  Lucas has earned four jewels for his crown by reciting his twos, threes, fives, and tens. This is awesome to me. Today we had a lovely discussion of division and prime numbers, although he didn’t call them that. “You know, Mom, 3 cannot be divided, but 4 can. Divide 4 and you get 2 and 2. 5 can’t be evenly divided. You would get 3 on one side and 2 on the other.” He proceeded to break down every number up to 15, determining whether each could be evenly divided.

Tonight Lucas recited his birthday verse to us for the first time. As is customary in Waldorf schools, his teacher created a verse for each child in the class, who practices it and recites it in front of the other children. The verse is meant to speak about the child, but also to the child to encourage and nurture in the child a quality or talent.

This is the verse she created for Lucas. I wept happy tears when I heard it.

Let us make a thing of beauty

That hungry souls may feast upon.

Let us make a thing of beauty

That long may live when we are gone.

Whether it be wood or marble,

Poetry, music, or art,

Let us make a thing of beauty

To help set man apart.

He proudly told me that his verse is the only one that mentions beauty.

I bought Lucas an orange, hooded sweatshirt about a week or so ago, after a friend turned me on to Campmor. I spent an hour last night and less than 50¢ worth of felt and embroidery thread turning it into a fun Halloween outfit. He wore it to school today. I think he loves it. I like the way it has missing teeth just like Lucas does.

It feels like forever since I wrote. It’s been such a busy time for me—lots of projects all stacked up on each other, but I think I’m through the worst (best?) of it now. I’m feeling accomplished in this area of my life, but neglectful in others.

My boys have been sick and so everyone is moving slow. Lucas is now better finally and back to school. Ian and Asher are still ill and spending the days playing Legos, watching movies, reading books, building block towers, moving huge piles of toys and things from one end of the house to another, and other low-key things. Ian can work from home a little when he feels up to it.

Although I’m sorry he isn’t feeling well, Ian’s being home the last few days has allowed me to keep my work moving forward and hit my deadlines. This is a huge relief.

On the mothering side, I feel I’m falling down on the job. I mean, nobody’s dying from neglect. Everyone’s adequately nourished and safe. But I usually like to pay a little more attention to my children. It’s five days until Halloween and we don’t even have costumes in the works. No decorations have been hung. The two pumpkins grandma grew in her garden are sitting in the backyard, instead of gracing our front porch. I bought our Pumpkin Path tickets for Saturday night, but that’s about it. Lucas would dearly love to spookify our house and I just haven’t had the time.

We missed the Sacramento Waldorf School’s Harvest Faire on Saturday, which was a real shame because it’s always such fun. But nobody in our family except me was in good enough shape to go out and have fun. At least I got my Children’s Store donations in (nine needle-felted mice, some small, blank journals, and 25 sets of three note cards featuring fairies, mushrooms, flowers, and cute garden snails). I hope to do more next year. (We did more last year!)

I’m looking forward to Asher being well again. I’m always on edge when he is coughing and congested at night. He makes the most horrible choking sounds!

OK, that was fun. Now I must get back to work!

“House School” is the delight of the moment. I gather from chatting with another second-grade dad, that it’s not just Lucas’s new play routine. Sounds like lots of second graders are playing school at home, teaching lessons, leading circle time, and saying verses. It manifested for us at home just three days ago. Ian and Asher were the first pupils to attend “House School,” as it’s known here. They had so much fun and raved about it. Lucas was thrilled to have found a game that the whole family could play—especially given that he gets to be in charge of it!

Last night I got to participate in House School a little, sitting in on a drawing lesson with my three boys. Lucas had cut out paper dragon shapes and we all got to color our dragons. I thought it was beautifully fitting for the feast day of St. Michael, which Wikipedia told me is traditionally held on September 29. Our four colorful dragons now adorn our Nature Table.

Something about this time of year has me feeling pulled in two directions in time. I’m wistful about our lazy summer evenings, which featured walks through our neighborhood, slow outdoor dinners with friends (regardless of the day of the week), sleeping until the sunlight streamed boldly through our bedroom window. I’m also feeling wistful about the little people I used to live with: Lucas as a younger boy, Asher as a baby.

At the same time, I’m eagerly looking forward to the joys of the autumn season: a trip to Apple Hill, the school Harvest Faire, our Thanksgiving Away (which hopefully will happen in November). I’m looking forward to some changes that will hopefully make us happier. The boys are growing and their capacity to adapt is greater. We’re thinking about moving them into the same bedroom together later this fall for several reasons: to promote their bonding, to bring their sleeping schedules into alignment with each other, to allow Asher to detach a little more from his nighttime dependence on us, and to allow me to set up shop in Lucas’s bedroom. I long for an office with a door again!

I also have lots of groovy, creative projects in mind, and keep envisioning more. I went to a craft night last night with other school parents and we sat around crafting, drinking wine, and chatting and it was lots of fun. These people are seriously creative! I worked on needle-felting mice for the Children’s Store at the Harvest Fair. I’m hoping to try my hand a soap-making soon, and I’ve been looking forward to taking a drop spinning class with a local teacher/Waldorf mama extraordinaire: Jennifer Tan of Syrendell.

I picked up a new editing project yesterday. You really never know where work is going to come from! This one came to me via my godmother and looks like it will be low-key, with a relaxed pace. It’s time to try lining up some winter projects. I’m pretty well booked through November-December. Staying on top of the marketing is always challenging and yet always worthwhile. I would like to add some new clients into the fold; some new regulars would be lovely.

Michaelmas is coming! Our school will be celebrating Michaelmas with a festival on Friday, September 25. Ian and I are both planning to be there (with my camera). It’s an especially exciting year because Lucas is in the second grade, and the second graders get to play an important part!

At this time of year, the turning seasons remind us to slow down, come home, warm up, and consider. We are happier to look inward in the autumn and winter than we were during the summer months when we were busy living and doing. When we turn our attention in, we can see our own inner dragons waiting for us there. They deserve our attention again because they’ve been patient—even faithful—waiting for us to remember them. Our dragons are our fears, insecurities, failings, worries, and procrastinations.

Many years ago I started observing that life kind of went to hell around this time of year, near the Autumnal Equinox—that major upheavals happened, as though it were time to till life’s soil and bring up our mucky muck to air it out. Jobs change. Partners change. Challenges abound. We are forced to notice them, acknowledge them, and then deal with the issues, like it or not. It’s a tough time of year, it seems, for many people because old patterns of being and behaving stop serving us the way they did before.

Change and upheaval are the order of the season, it has always seemed to me. Facing our dragons, peering into the dark and letting our heart’s light shine forth is what gets us through it. So the Waldorf/Steiner story of Saint Michael and Saint George and the dragon fits just fine with my own outlook. Sometimes, all we really need to help us understand is a good metaphor to sink our teeth into.

In honor of Lucas’s special roll in facing down the dragon this year, we are making a big deal. Second graders (7- and 8-year-olds) are emotionally coming to terms with the fact that dragons do exist in our world, within humanity, and even within themselves. Things are not always good and well-intentioned and true. We must choose right or wrong. We must notice the dragons around us and within us and we must face them down. We must take up our swords and slay the dragons or tame them so that we make make this world a better place.

My musings about dragons led me on a dragon hunt here at home. This is what I found to inspire me.

Saint George and the Dragon, by Margaret Hodges.

This is a used, paperback book I bought when Lucas was 4-years-old. I waited a long time for him to be ready for it. I gave it to him this weekend, knowing that he is being told the story at school and that he is ready for it now.

Here is a detail from the battle. Trina Schart Hyman’s illustrations are very vibrant and evocative.

Illustration from Eric Carl's book, Dragons Dragons & Other Creatures That Never Were.

Dragon illustration in the Oxford Treasury of Classic Poems. It graces the page with Brian Patten's poem, "A Small Dragon." Facing it is Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky."

Then I hit the armor and art books to find these beautiful paintings to share.

Rover Van der Weyden, Saint George and the Dragon, c 1432 (Flemish), found in a book called Arms & Armor of the Medieval Knight, by David Edge & John Miles Paddock.

Raphael's St. George and the Dragon, c 1506, oil on panel, National Gallery of Art, Washington. This was in our book, The Great Masters, by Giorgio Vasari.

Hope you enjoyed our dragon hunt as much as I did. May you meet your own dragons head-on this season, with bravery and compassion.

Our autumn "nature table" on the piano, with a special Michaelmas theme in honor of Lucas being in second grade. The dragon painting above is from first grade.

This is the pumpkin I had to hunt for in the back of Safeway! Pumpkins aren't out yet in the stores. And I hear there may be a pumpkin shortage this year.

Old-timey Brachs caramels: I don't usually cook with these!

Organic CSA apples before the caramel dipping.

Caramel apples! Aren't they beautiful? Not bad for a first try.

My friend, Parnasus, brought yummy sides and appetizers, along with her family, our dear friends! Festivals are both easier and more fun with friends.

Feast: Beef and vegetable stew in a cooked pumpkin, chickpea and endive appetizer; green salad with apples, cherries, pecans, and goat cheese!

Samayam helped Asher with his decoupage candle holder.

The start of Lucas's craft project: Japanese maple leaf on a glass candle holder before glue and white tissue paper decoupage. They are still drying ...

Much thanks to Parnasus, Tara_bella, and Samayam for coming over with their children and helping us celebrate with good food and a special project!

Happy fall equinox, everyone! I hope you were able to enjoy the holiday, even though today felt every bit as much a summer day as yesterday.