Love ya, chica. Happy birthday. I hope it’s fun and pain-free!

S

We were in South Lake Tahoe from Saturday the 18th to Friday the 24th. Here are some highlights…

A Brief Encounter 2/20/06
“How lucky that I got a chance to play with that baby!” Lucas said as we were leaving a Mexican restaurant. He liked touching the baby boy’s hand. Baby’s mom didn’t like that so much; I could tell Lucas’s coughing was making her nervous about the touching and what germs her son was picking up. I can understand how she felt. Otherwise, she was very friendly. Her son was about 6 or 7 months old. Lucas was enchanted.

Here We Are in Tahoe 2/21/06
We’ve been at the cabin since Saturday afternoon. It was storming and snowing pretty heavily last weekend so the drive up here took a really long time—4.5 hours, but we stopped in Placerville to eat lunch at Mel’s. At one point during our drive, a guy in a Cal Trans truck pulled right in front of us to stop the traffic, and then sat there for an hour fielding the same three questions from all the drivers who got our of their cars to find out why we were stopped. Fortunately for us, we simply had to roll down the car windows to hear what was going on—nine accidents up ahead. Yikes.

We were pleased to learn when we finally got over the summit that Kelly and Ambrosia were stuck in the same jam behind us, waiting for the road to clear. I had been a little worried that they might have moved ahead of us and might be waiting in the driveway at the cabin for hours.

The kids were happy to see each other. Lucas was excited to spend time with Ambrosia. He kept saying before she arrived, “I really love Ambrosia. She’s my baby sister,” and “I will share my toys with Ambrosia.” This we took to be an encouraging sign for the weekend. And honestly, they both got along with each other quite well. A few arguments cropped up during the 40 or 42 hours they spent in the same house together, but in the end, neither child wanted to say goodbye.

So anyway, we enjoyed a few yummy Atkins + Vegetarian meals during which Ambrosia was curious about the various meats at the table. Kelly is a vegetarian, but she allowed Ambrosia to try unfamiliar foods.

We did just what you’d expect with two small kids in the mountains—we bundled them up into their snow clothes, boots/shoes, hats, and mittens and tromped through the snow. The storm had brought maybe four or five inches of lovely, soft powder and covered all the trees with what looked like vanilla frosting. Lucas and Ambrosia liked eating the snow, making snow angels, and sledding down the gentle slope near the neighbor’s house on the yellow and orange saucers. Lucas was much fonder of snowball fights than Ambrosia was, so he and I pelted each other. I hoped to give him an enthusiastic target for his powdery volleys to draw fire away from the little girl. (That’s how nice I am—I really don’t much like being hit by snowballs!) Lucas mainly got my legs.

Lucas Quotes 2/21/06
“Special new babies are called stars. Boy babies are called suns and girl babies are called moons, did you know?”

To Ian, “I tell my mom a funny word, but it’s secret and down in my belly button.”

To me, “I have a present for you…It’s really special. Do you want to see it? It’s a new pair of earrings…they’re shaped like Thomas! …

“Oh wait! It’s a new book. The cover is shaped like a train. And the pages are shaped like a train. And the WORDS are shaped like a train. And the pictures are pictures of TRAINS! It’s a THOMAS book!”

Mutual Admiration Society 2/21/06
This morning I went looking for Lucas. I found him upstairs bouncing on the bare mattress of the bed. I watched him jumping joyfully, ecstatically for a while. Then I stripped him down for a shower. This did not deter the jumping, but rather encouraged more of it, for he’s freer in his skin. I watched him bounce some more, wincing when his head came too near the sloping ceiling. He invited me to join him. Instead of bouncing, we cuddled on the bed and rolled around together. We giggled and smiled and gazed into each other’s eyes. It was one of those moments when all the strain and stress of parenting melts away.

“Mom, you’re beautiful like the sun and moon and stars,” he said.
More melting.
“Lucas, you’re beautiful like a sparkling sunshiny day.”
“Mom, you’re beautiful like the blue sky full of sunshine.”
“Lucas, you’re beautiful like moonbeams on the glistening snow.”
“Mom, you’re beautifulest like the night,” he said. Wow.
“Lucas, you’re beautiful like an angel’s wing,” I replied.
“Mom, you’re beautifulest and cutest of all.”
“Lucas, you’re beautifulest like a rainbow reflected in a clear lake.”

It went on and on like this for several glorious minutes. About this time, Ian joined us for a shower. He rolled his eyes at all our sappy talk.

“What?” I said. “I’m just teaching him about poetry and wooing women.” I guess I was teaching him about simile, too, come to think of it.

Lucas was teaching me about unconditional love.

Sledding Fun at Zephyr Cove 2/22/06
Today was fantastic! We woke up, had a lovely breakfast, and then packed up the car for a day on the sledding slopes. We met with Brittany and Ella and Henry on the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe at a place near Zephyr Cove. There’s a terrific sledding hill that’s far enough away from the highway to make me feel comfortable about playing there (such places are hard to find on the 50 side, in my experience). We got there at about 10:30 am and we all had so much fun we stayed until after 2 pm. Brittany brought a great sled—one that’s far superior to the saucers we had with us. Their sled could fit Lucas, Ella, and a grown-up. Mostly they went down the hill with Ian playing the anchor man/driver. Sometimes I went with them. I am not a good sledder. Somehow I always manage to spin around in lazy slow circles, and end up going backwards most of the time down the hill. The kids preferred Ian’s technique by far. They ditched me after only a few runs.

Still, I had a wonderful time playing with our relatively new camera, and pointing it a lot at patient and slow-moving Henry, who stayed near the bottom of the slope more than the other two kids did. Brittany and I chatted, and sometimes she took Henry for rides in the saucer. For his first time in the snow, Henry really seemed to enjoy himself. He had, as his mother put it, amazing “snot rockets” all day though. I got some great shots of everyone sledding, digging in the snow (Ella and Lucas are particularly adept diggers—after all, they’ve had tons of practice at Miss Jennifer’s preschool.)

The weather was really warm and sunny, and we all wore only sweaters with our boots and snow pants for most of the time—no jackets were necessary until the cold wind picked up a little later. I’m glad I had sunscreen and an extra pair of sunglasses in the car for Lucas to wear.

Brittany’s husband Kevin and her son Nicholas were on the ski slopes today. Originally, she wasn’t planning to come to North Shore with them. But when I told her last week what we were doing during the teacher conference week, she changed her mind about coming and bringing the kids. Honestly, it couldn’t have been a more perfect play date. Given that this is the halfway point in our vacation, the chance for Lucas to play with other children came at the perfect time.
This was Ian’s first opportunity to get to know Brittany and her kids. And, as usual, he was easily the most popular adult around. I think children sense a kindred spirit in him; they warm to him almost instantly—pretty much without exception. Not so with me.

Nap Battles 2/22/06
Lucas has not been napping while we’ve been here. I think it’s partly in reaction to the unfamiliar place, but probably also partly because the bedrooms are so bright during the day, it’s hard to fall asleep. Well, not for me. But it’s basically impossible for him. I find this development tremendously challenging. He’s such a little jerk while he’s refusing to nap, even though we work hard to cast the same sleeping spell here as we do at home. The only good thing about it is that it’s pretty easy to put him down for the night because he’s completely exhausted by the end of the day. Frankly, so are we.

Homemade Aoili 2/22/06
Tonight I cooked the last of the albacore tuna that was given to me this time last year by Red Jioras, Chris’s father. Last February, in honor of teacher conference week, Lucas and I went on a road trip up to Eureka to visit Chris, Peggy, Matthew, and Alex. We got to have a nice meal one night with Chris’s parents who also live up there. Red is a sport fisherman, and he loaded me up with a cooler full of delicious fish.

For dinner tonight, I successfully made aioli from scratch. Aioli is a fancy word for mayonnaise. It’s made from egg yolk, oil, and garlic—and in this case, lemon and basil. I was skeptical, especially when started whisking with a wire whisk, as opposed to a mixer or food processor. Sure enough, the miracle happened. It thickened up just like it was supposed to, and it tasted delicious!

Surreal Questions 2/22/06
Some of my favorite memories from my childhood are from nights when I rode home in my father’s 240Z from my grandma’s house, while mom and my very young brother rode in mom’s car. These late-night drives (it probably wasn’t really late—it was probably rarely later than 9 pm) home from Carmichael to Rolling Green Way in Fair Oaks were my special time with my dad. I would always strive to stay awake by asking my dad questions. We had long conversations about how and where license plates were made, why the sunset was more beautiful on some nights than on others, how jellyfish move through the water, why the road painters always seemed to spill and splatter paint on the road, and other really important life-changing topics. Dad would patiently explain all the workings of the world to me, and I soaked it all up. I soaked up every word he said to me. Now, I realize it never really mattered what we talked about; what was important was that we talked together, and that my father knew everything. He still does.

Today in the car on the way home from sledding, we were gazing thoughtfully at the beautiful blue of Lake Tahoe surrounded by snow-kissed mountains. Lucas asked, “Dad, do whales ever get stuck in trees?”
“No, I don’t think they do,” Ian replied.

We laughed. And after I was done laughing, I cried a little bit. I’m glad Lucas’s dad knows everything.

Love to you both. Happy birthday!

About a week before Valentine’s Day, we received a short letter from Miss Jennifer, Lucas’s preschool teacher. All the parents received the same letter. It contained standard information that every parent needs to know–stuff like, please remember to keep a pair or rain pants and boots at school because it’s wet outside, and please help us build a chicken coop for Snowbell the chicken.

It also contained this message:

“It has been a busy month getting to know all our new friends. Now that they are getting more comfortable and becoming more friendly, kisses between friends have started. I tell the children that we save kisses for mommy and daddy. So if you hear this talk at home, please encourage your child to save his or her kisses for you.”

I read this and thought, why? What’s wrong with kisses between friends?

Later, I found out that Lucas is the kissing bandit. My own little Georgie Porgie. I’m so proud!

We’re going out of town to the cabin on Saturday and will be gone through Friday the 24th. I hope to do some writing while I’m gone–a little bit of working and a little bit of playing. Hopefully I’ll have some fun stuff to post when I return. We won’t have internet while we’re there.

Have fun everybody! Frank and Janelle, good luck with the surgery. We will be praying and calling for news.

s

The first time I woke up today, it was dark and I heard a whiny, whimpering little person clambering up into my bed. Then I felt that little person edge me over and co-opt my pillow. Then I felt the chilly hands of the whiny little person seeking out my warm skin–my breasts and tummy were the targets of those grabby hands. Then there was the annoyed bark of a man’s voice, which said, “Leave your mother alone and go back to sleep or I’ll take you out of the bed.”

The second time I woke up today, it was light in the room. There was still a whiny little person next to me, clutching my arm and burying his cheek into my neck. But there was also the smell of coffee wafting in from the kitchen, and sounds of my lover making me a Valentine’s Day breakfast: low-carb warm ricotta crepes with strawberry jam. They were delicious and only 7 carbs (unfortunately we learned later that’s 7 carbs for two crepes–Oh well). We ate breakfast together gazing on a vase full of pink tulips that he brought me a few days ago. That whiny little person whined less after he ate his cereal.

Thank you, my loves. Thanks for a wonderful morning.

More About Tidoo

Tidoo seems to have largely lost her “Baby” appellation. More and more we hear about Tidoo as though she is Lucas’s imaginary friend. Tidoo has other parents who live in a house far away. Lucas says she lives with us so that she can be close to him. Tidoo enjoys sports and going places with us. Tidoo can eat many bowls of cereal. Sometimes when she’s feeling sad, Lucas has to hold Tidoo to comfort her. Candy always makes her feel better.

I Thought Imaginary Friends Were Supposed to Be Imaginary

Those Waldorf people are right: Lucas’s imagination is working on overdrive lately. But I thought imaginary friends were supposed to be imaginary. Apparently I was wrong. Imaginary Tasha and Imaginary Xander are now spending a lot of time at our house–“For reals, Mom.” They play ball games with Lucas (a sort of Calvin-Ball, except I guess it’s Lucas-Ball). Imaginary Tasha is really good at this game. Lucas has to help out Imaginary Xander a bit because he’s little still. Imaginary Tasha and Imaginary Xander have been riding in the car with us lately too. They have great conversations that keep Lucas occupied in the back seat.

What lies behind the cut is recent everyday stuff.
We had mom and dad over last night for dinner. This is a fairly rare occurrence, considering they live just a short drive away. Dad’s 60th birthday was last week, and we didn’t make it to the family get-together at Cattlemen’s on Friday. (I’m sure the food was good at the restaurant, but they said no one could hear anything. They all apparently got to see how poor, deaf RoRo feels most of the time.) Anyway, for mom and dad we made tri tip, broccoli with browned butter and mizithra cheese, black-eyed peas, brown rice, salad, and corn bread. I confess I ate a piece of cornbread; it was very yummy. We gave dad a print we bought in a gallery in Maui; it’s a pretty island and ocean painting.

Last week was something of a work nightmare. I worked all week on a project for Former Employer that should have been done and printed last December. Thanks to the licensor’s penchant for reaming us, the whole book had to be remade–not because of any fault of mine, or anyone else on the project. They simply changed all the data without telling us. I’ve been talking with Former Employer all along about how such remaking is well out of the scope of the original project agreement, and thus, I’ll have to be paid to do the book over again. (It is hard to be bold and brassy enough to demand payment for extra, out-of-bounds work, but to have to do it four or more times really sucks!!) Unfortunately the issue is not resolved yet, but I’m sticking to my guns. I worked more than 40 hours last week on said nightmare book to get it to the printer on time. Former boss also worked hard and helped to make it happen, but that doesn’t diminish the work that I did or reduce the amount that she owes me. “Sorry, dear. You have to pay for services rendered. That’s the way it works. I don’t take it for the team anymore. We’re no longer in the same Former Employer boat.” I worked all week and the stress of feeling like Former Employer would like to screw me out of my dough has made me really angry and bent out of shape. I learned a lot on this project. I don’t think I’m going to go forward with similar projects without getting a lot more down on paper first, including the consequences of “change orders.”

Lucas’s roster of brothers and sisters is expanding. Now, not only is Kimberlee his baby sister, but Tasha, Ella, Laurel, and Ambrosia are his sisters too. (It is fairly remarkable to me that he now includes Ambrosia in this list, as they have had a challenging relationship until fairly recently.) The little brothers are fewer: Xander and Henry (and sometimes a kid named Rocco–who I gather is the baby brother of another kid at preschool).

Recently Lucas told me that when he grows up, I will be his wife. (Freud was so right.) I tried to explain to him that I’m already married to Ian, so I can’t be his wife. He was not amused. I distracted him by telling him that no matter what, now and forever and always, I will be his mommy. He’ll have to be satisfied with that.

Other Tidbits
* Lucas (and dad and mom) got a great report card at his latest dental checkup and cleaning. We are doing a great job cleaning off all the “sugar bugs.” Lucas was very brave, but he also doesn’t know yet that some people are scared about going to the dentist, or why.
* We’re really enjoying attending services at the Unitarian Universalist Society of Sacramento, which kinda blows my mind a little bit. But since the pagan thing is on hiatus, I need something to get me thinking of stuff beyond myself. Ian and I are considering becoming members. We are making friends there.
* Ian’s spooky fundamentalist freako step-sister is coming to Sacramento for a visit. Fortunately, we’ll only have to see her for an hour or so. The woman gives me shivers. I wish she would stay in stupid Oaklahoma.
* Tomorrow afternoon, on Valentine’s Day, we are going to the Sacramento Waldorf School for an interview with the Red Rose Kindergarten teacher. We are hoping that this will help us to determine whether Lucas is ready to go there next fall.

Tonight, Lucas told us a story about how he built a castle out of blocks for big dogs and little dogs to skate on the roof. Then he said that he told the dogs they could skate on the roof of our house.
“Up there?” Ian pointed to the ceiling.
“Yes,” said Lucas.
“Why they don’t skate outside on the driveway?” Ian asked.
“If the dogs skate on the driveway, they might accidentally skate into the street and get hit by a car,” Lucas explained.
He then revealed that there are, in fact, nine little, fluffy white dogs living in our house with us. They hide from mommy and daddy.
“Really? I haven’t seen them around here anywhere. Where do they sleep?” I inquired.
“They sleep in crates, in a secret corner in the bathroom, where you can’t find them.”
“Who feeds the dogs?”
“Me!”
“What do they eat?”
“Broccoli!”
“Ah ha! So you and the dogs are the ones who eat all the broccoli?”
“Yes!”
much giggling
One of the little white fluffy dogs has skates.
“What color are they?”
“Pink,” he replied.
“How many skates does the dog need?”
“Four!”

This message is for all those who were afraid to come over because of our very poor housekeeping skills.

Last night, with noxious chemicals, a vorpal blade, and a fearless heart, I vanquished the monstrosity growing in my microwave oven.

I hate maintenance.