“A euphemism is most apt to be noticed if it is new. When an occupation once regarded as lowly wants to come up in the world, it may try to shed the name that signaled its humble status: ‘farmers’ become ‘agriculturists,’ ‘garbage collectors’ become ‘sanitation engineers,’ ‘janitors’ become ‘custodians.’ Our awareness of the euphemism is shown by our tendency to laugh at what we regard as false pretension. Yet other occupations that upgraded themselves in the past enjoy euphemistic names that are no longer questioned. One may laugh at an ‘undertaker’ who calls himself a ‘mortician’ or a ‘funeral director,’ but not at a money-handler who calls himself a ‘financier’ or a tradesman who calls himself a ‘businessman.’ These euphemisms are accepted at face value — to the benefit of those labeled by them.”

–Dwight Bolinger, Language: The Loaded Weapon 73 (1980).

let’s see…

“prunes” become “dried plums”
“unemployed mom” becomes “freelance editor”

Last Saturday we had Ambrosia over to play while Kelly went to the funeral of her friend’s son.
Despite the sad reason for Ambrosia’s visit, we all had a wonderful time with her. Ambrosia wanted to play dress-up, so I got out all the stuff and we all dressed up as princesses in flowing silk scarves, tiaras, turbans, boas, and veils. Luckily we had enough magic wands to go around and we all danced to Enya in our princess costumes. It was very fun. Lucas and Ian got into it as well. Later we rode tricycles to the park and we played there.

Baby Tidoo, Lucas’s dolly, has taken on an even greater importance in the family over the last week. Suddenly, Tidoo has a strong personality, with clear likes and dislikes, habits, and plans. Tidoo seems now to be more of an imaginary friend than just a doll. Lucas talks about her as though she were his peer.
• Tidoo gets to eat doughnuts for breakfast
• Tidoo eats whole bowls full of salt
• Tidoo likes trains as much as Lucas does
• Tidoo goes on play dates
• Tidoo and Kimberlee are good friends
• Tidoo is sick and doesn’t want to go to school some days

And other stuff…
Saturday night my parents took me to dinner and to see Jack Gallagher’s new one-man show “What He Left,” at the B Street Theatre. I’m planning to write more about that another day. Suffice it to say that it was a great show and it brought forth some interesting stories from my father.

Grandpa Glen came over for dinner last night. When I reminded Lucas about this in the afternoon before Glen arrived, Lucas said, “Oh good. I love my Grandpa Glen.” I was careful to relate this story to Glen last night. Unfortunately, Grandpa Glen seems sometimes to feel like he’s missing out on Lucas’s development. We don’t see him as often as we see the other, closer grandparents. It was a nice evening, without too much political discussion, and grandpa read Lucas several stories and listened to the endless train talk with the degree of fascination that someone who doesn’t listen to it constantly can still muster.

Lucas’s relationship with Jackson (a new boy) at preschool is improving. In fact, Lucas seems to be slowly accepting the new students from Mulberry Cottage, which recently closed its doors, into the Hidden Treasure fold. (At first he was resisting making new friends.) Lucas told me last night that Jackson hasn’t been “playing guns at me” and is playing trains with Lucas instead. “I like that much better.” He also reported that he spent some time yesterday talking with Abigail, another new student. “Abigail is nice. We talked a while.” Max, however, is still playing guns. Lucas is convinced that Max hates him. This social stuff is tricky.

“There is one tendency of speech which, though founded on a firm basis of psychology, is constantly spoken of by those who know nothing of the ways of linguistics, as new and vulgar in the extreme. This is the inclination to use words more grandiloquent or more honorable than the occasion calls for or admits. Such a tendency has characterized the languages of all cultivated nations, and seems to be inherent in the human mind. Vanity and social ambition, on the one hand, combine with courtesy and servility on the other, to support and enforce this natural bent, and the disposition to magnify one’s office contributes its share in producing the final result.”

–James Bradstreet Greenough & George Lyman Kittredge, Words and Their Ways in English Speech 317 (1901).

I appears that I didn’t get the fiction job I bid on recently.

It’s a shame because it would have been my first taste of editing fiction and would have required me to grow and learn new stuff. I suspect I bid too high, but I prefer to err on the side of valuing my time and work appropriately and losing jobs, than killing myself working for peanuts.

In coming up with my bid, I spent a couple of hours reading over a very long and intricate book proposal and then several sample chapters. I made an estimate of the hours it might take me to do the job, evaluated the (first-time) author’s writing, and provided him with some feedback and a few sample edits of short passages (so he could see how I would edit his work). My analysis concluded that while the author’s plot, characters, and story might indeed be adequate and interesting enough to get published, he had about 25-30% more words than were really necessary to tell the story. I figured streamlining and simplifying the text to make it friendly to the reader would require a fairly heavy edit: I would have had to touch nearly every line in the 170,000 word novel. That prospect is scary to me, given that authors frequently are fragile creatures.

It might not have been my bid though. I might have been too heavy-handed with the prose. That’s the balance the editor has to achieve, the way I see it. That is the key to editing fiction. The editor must find the perfect degree of involvement and that depends entirely on the specific work and the specific author. Oftentimes, an author expects me to read his/her mind to know what degree of involvement they want me to have. This is true when I’m editing non-fiction too. However, my experience is that non-fiction authors are often really open to revisions that improve their work. Fiction is more emotional.

I asked this prospective client, “What level of editing are you looking for? Substantive editing? Copyediting?” (and provided him with definitions and examples of both types).

He said, “I believe my best answer to this question is, unfortunately, a very positive, ‘I don’t know.’ I can only admit that I am too close to the work to objectively attempt to edit the material and would trust in an editor to have the reader’s best interest at the heart of their decision making. At this point I need to secure the best editing job available as if I were going to self-publish the first novel in the series for a June release.” (See what I mean? He’s a very wordy guy.)

I took him at his word and evaluated the text with the reader’s best interest at heart, assuming there might not be any other editor (such as an aquisitions editor at a publishing house) intervening on the reader’s behalf.

In a way, I’m not sorry to see it go to someone else. I don’t really feel like justifying every single change, every single decision I make. Still, this novel is the first of six planned novels, and a long-term gig like that–if he actually managed to write a six-novel series–might have been nice. C’est la vie!

We turned in Lucas’s application to Kindergarten at Sacramento Waldorf School today.
Technically we are applying to Pre-Kindergarten, but since the Pre-K and K years are mixed into the same room with the same teacher (4, 5, and 6-year-olds together), it amounts to the same thing. Because we turned in our application on time, we are guaranteed to get a parent/teacher/student interview in the coming weeks. I’m looking forward to this dialog with the K teacher and observing Lucas’s interaction with her as a mean of determining whether he’ll be ready to go there at 4.25 years old next fall.

We also attended a Parent Information Meeting at the Golden Valley Charter School. This is a Waldorf Methods charter school that is about the same distance from our house (in the opposite direction as Sac Waldorf School on the way to Ian’s office) and is a public school. That’s right: Public school, as in FREE. Well, they do want you to contribute money to help fund the school, but this option would be MUCH cheaper than private school tuition. Unfortunately–or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint–the charter school must adhere to State testing standards, must deal with the No Child Left Behind legislative mandates, must be absorbed into San Juan Unified School District, etc. This school must fight to survive, to attract teachers with credentials and Waldorf training, to get parents on board with contributions and volunteerism, to get funding through attendance, etc. While they are valiantly trying to implement a Waldorf curriculum, they have a lot of outside influences that they must contend with. Then there’s the fact that the school is in an old SJUSD school with it’s typical grey military barracks aesthetic. They’re not even allowed to paint the walls of the classrooms.

I would love not to pay the tuition. Yet, I hate the insecurity of the charter and the possibility that it could cease to exist at some point, or be forced to move to another school site because they’re only renting. It looks like we’ll either have money stress for the next 14 years or political/security stress. I am not at all sure which I would prefer.

We will likely apply to Golden Valley too. Ian pragmatically mentioned that we could try GV for a year and get one year of free Kindergarten (saving $6 to $8K), and then transfer if we don’t like it.

We can also keep Lucas at Hidden Treasure Nursery another year. We like it there. I guess it’s good to have options.

Although I would love to be plotting out my master’s degree and adding a bunch of art and creative writing classes to my already full schedule, I must settle, for the time being, on obsessing about my son’s education.

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don’t actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism. Satanism 92% Paganism 71% atheism 58% agnosticism 58% Buddhism 54% Islam 54% Hinduism 50% Judaism 38% Christianity 29%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

My friend Kelly called last night and asked if we could babysit Ambrosia on Saturday. Kelly has to go to a funeral: The three-and-a-half-year-old son of her friend died in a car crash.

This shocking fact is bouncing around inside my head; I cannot look at it straight on. It sneaks up on me regularly–when I’m doing the dishes, when I’m working, when I’m driving to pick up Lucas. It jerked me out of my doze a few moments ago, when I was lying down with Lucas to help him fall asleep. This is THE nightmare–the one that makes my heart race and the tears fall. This is the unendurable event. The most crushing disaster. The unfaceable fear.

This is exactly why I cannot watch or read the news. My mothermind is on too much of the time for stories like these to roll off me. They crash into my heart and take up residence for a long painful time. My empathizer is turned up too high.

It isn’t even my son.

Please, please never let it be my son.

A word to the wise: When Kimkimkaree calls you on the phone and says, “What night this week can I come over and cook you dinner? I have this friend I’d like you to meet,” you respond affirmatively, “Any night!” or “Today!”

Last night the lovely Lady K showed up with an Atkins-friendly meal and two charming friends: our darling Dakini-grl and Kerry from Ireland. It was a wonderful meal and delightful company. I am grateful for the opportunity to meet Kerry, since I was unable to attend the Faces dance party last week or to stay long at Dakini’s place last Sunday after he arrived. We enjoyed talking about travel, hair, kids, Ireland, our childhoods, etc. He was friendly and warm to Lucas, who, underneath his shyness, liked Kerry very much.

Meeting Kerry really makes me want to hit the road again. It’s been so long since we traveled–twelve years since we were out of the country learning new stuff about other people.

Can’t wait to see him again. Thanks Kimkim!

Today a big portion of my current receivables arrived. Thank the gods! I rushed to the bank to deposit it. It is big enough that a portion of my dough will be held for 11 business days! That totally sucks because the well is dry right now.

Because we spent money in Hawaii, I’m feeling guilty and nervous about it. I have so many goals and I’m terrible about waiting. I hope I can pay for day care on the 1st.

It’s slowly dawning on us that Lucas has been a lot easier to deal with lately. That super-oppositional monster that lived with us a few months ago seems to have moved out. Our new roommate is much more likeable–he’s much more likely to say yes, or to tell a story, or suggest a game we can play together, or tell us something he likes about us, what we’re doing, his friends, or his home. It’s such a relief not to have him fighting us at every turn.

We had a really pleasant and suburban weekend. Ian and I went on a date on Saturday night to an exciting lecture on child development at Steiner College (very geeky). It was interesting and different, and it gave us more to talk about afterward at the coffee shop than a movie would have. Lucas stayed with VoVo and DiDi and was a peach for them.

Sunday morning we went to church at the UUSS. Unlike previous visits to the “play room,” Lucas actually kind of looked forward to going to the child care for an hour. We had lunch afterward with Kelly and Ambrosia. Lucas and Ambrosia actually got along well! In the bathroom, Ambrosia said, “Lucas is my best friend” and gave him a hug. I was both surprised and delighted when he graciously received her clumsy embrace and didn’t slug her in return.

After lunch, we all headed over to the Sacramento Waldorf School for an open house. I got to show Kelly the Kindergarten classrooms there, which is nice because now she knows why I’m always raving about Waldorf education. Ian took care of the kids while they played on the playground, while Kelly and I spoke to the teachers and asked questions. Then I switched duties with Ian and he and Kelly got to roam around and explore the grades classrooms.

The culmination of the weekend, though, was a dinner party with some friends at lovely Dakini_grl’s new pad. Lucas brought some toys along and played quietly (for the most part) under the table in the corner of the room. I was able to talk to friends, eat dinner, and relax without having to ride him the whole time to behave. He joyfully wrestled with Daddy and Sandy a little while, and was a little shy at times, but he was mostly friendly to the adults.

On the drive home, I realized how grateful I am for his good behavior, friendly manner, and sweet disposition. I really have a wonderful young son. I can’t believe it’s only a few months ’til his fourth birthday. Can he really be almost four years old?

Yesterday afternoon I picked Lucas up from preschool, and took him to Ancil Hoffman park on a whim. The sky was blue and clear and I felt like being out in the wild for a little while. We parked at Effie Yew Nature Center and walked the trails for a while. We saw a group of three deer grazing right next to the trail. We stood still and quietly watched them for a time. I explained to Lucas that they weren’t bothered by us being there because we were being so quiet. He asked questions in a whisper, “Are they wild, Mom?” We also saw wild turkeys, more deer, a hawk, and some white egrets. We listened to songbirds.

We meandered all the way down to the river’s edge and tossed rocks into the water. Sometimes they bounced when they hit the other rocks already in the stream. Lucas isn’t satisfied throwing little rocks into the river; he’d much rather pick up the biggest rock he can lift. The American River is running very high and fast right now, thanks to the winter rains. I secured Lucas’s promise not to get into the water, not to get wet–and bless my soul! He didn’t! He didn’t argue when it was time to walk back. He didn’t whine and drag his feet on the way back to the car. He carried a huge stick all the way from the riverbank to the car, and carefully made worm holes (for the worms to live in) in the soft earth with the tip of his stick. He brought back a dozen rocks in his pockets. We spent about an hour and a half together on our nature walk and it was simply lovely.