It’s teacher in-service week around here, which means my kids have the week off school and daycare. I’m getting help from grandma and some friends here and there, which is great because I have a big meeting to prepare for. Next week I’m flying to New Jersey for two days of meetings. I’m excited and nervous. It’s my longest trip away from my kids ever—three days!

The weather has turned so exquisitely springlike it’s making me feel a little drunk. Crocuses and daffodils are blooming. The quinces in the neighborhood are bursting out coral blossoms. Today I noticed my flowering plum tree has its first blossoms. Hallelujah! I know more rainy, cold weather is ahead. It’s OK. I’m just glorying in our false spring and enjoying the moment. The sun on my face feels spectacular. Yesterday we enjoyed some late afternoon time at our local schoolyard.

Today, Lucas and I left the house in short-sleeved T-shirts. Out of habit and a belief that Asher still doesn’t regulate his own temperature all that well, I made him wear two long-sleeve shirts. At about 1:30 this afternoon he turned to me and stammered something I couldn’t make out. Then he gathered his thoughts and said, quite clearly, “I’m so sweaty!” Oh! Sorry kid. Let’s take off a shirt.

The boys and I visited Great Grandmother RoRo and Great Grandaunt Nana today. It was good to see them, but also strange. My children don’t relate well to Ro at all, which makes me sad because she was such fun when I was a child. These sweet ladies look pretty well and we sat outside in the sunshine together and watched the boys play.

Later at home I gave the kids haircuts. Asher really hates this procedure. He cries and says I’m hurting him, and freaks out whenever the shorn hairs touch his skin. To get him to stay in the chair so I could do the job, I had to give him a Valentine chocolate cut into four pieces. It took a lot of patience on both our parts, but we ended up with an OK cut.

This is one of Lucas’s shots from yesterday evening. I like the color.

Life is good. We are fine. Hope you are too!

Lucas has been enjoying playing with Fuse Beads lately. You arrange them standing on end in patterns and then fuse them together with a clothes iron.

Lucas quickly tired of following the suggested patterns and created a whole army of little guys. They each have a name, though I can’t tell you what the names are; I could not pronounce them even if I remembered them.

Here are a few familiar characters: a fused R2D2 and a Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader ready to fuse. I’d better get on that!

For this one, he used the fuse beads in a different way. Waldorf kids are cool.

Grandma visited today with Valentine’s presents for the boys. When they saw these lollipops, their eyes became wide as (heart-shaped) saucers! We love you, VoVo!

Today

Valentine’s Day

A day of love and friendship

We’re not so keen on the Hallmark variety of romance this year.

Can’t afford the expensive prix fixe meal at the hoity-toity, gourmet restaurant.

Two kids in tow isn’t exactly the way to make that meal happen anyway.

So instead, we opened our house to friends, both old and new.

Saw a friend whom we haven’t seen in nearly 10 years.

Saw a friend who is recovering from surgery.

Saw two friends who just returned from Costa Rican travels.

Saw school friends whom we usually see only during the week.

Saw friends who made it back in time to visit, even though they didn’t think they could.

Saw a lovely bunch of friends from the Bay Area who drove in to visit.

Saw many friends we see too, too rarely.

Saw friends we see almost every day.

Saw friends we’ve known since high school.

We are full.

Filled up with their loving presence,

their hugs, conversation,

understanding and smiles,

filled up with strawberry bread, egg scramble, and rice and beans,

with cinnamon rolls, quinoa pilaf, and fruit,

with spicy pork and salmon,

with champagne, coffee, and OJ

with butternut squash, avocadoes, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, and frittata.

Life is so full.

I’m in LOVE and happy.

Whoever you are,

Whomever you love,

Happy Valentine’s Day from our family to yours.

“Where there is great love there are always miracles.” —Willa Cather

“Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much perfoms much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.” —Vincent Van Gogh

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” —Mother Theresa

Sometime last year I found a project on the Great and Glorious Internet for making crayon heart Valentines and I saved it up for months. I really looked forward to actually doing this with Lucas! Last year, our Valentines for Lucas’s classmates were wonderful and handmade. They also took days and days of concentrated effort, which was (in hindsight) more than Lucas really was ready for at 6.5 years old. I wanted to do something easier this year, and this project turned out to be perfect for three reasons: 1) we used up years’ worth of crayon stubs; 2) they truly are beautiful and useful treasures; and 3) I invested in a groovy Wilton mini heart muffin pan that I can use for all kinds of goodies, not just crayons!

Before. We stripped the crayon stubs of their paper and *gasp* broke crayons into smaller pieces on purpose.

We filled up my groovy new silicone baking pan (safe up to 500° F), set it atop another cookie sheet covered with a sheet of aluminum foil (just in case), and popped it in the oven for 20 minutes at 250° F. We found the crayons (of mixed brands and qualities) melted at different rates. It took 20 minutes for them all to melt. We removed the pan and let the melted hearts cool. When they were completely cool, they easily popped out of the silicone shapes. You can actually turn the heart inside out and the crayon comes out perfect and unmarred.

After. Here are the first two batches, which we actually finished in January. Aren’t they lovely? We made 36 of these gorgeous multicolored crayon hearts—more than a class set.

We found the pigment sank to the bottom (the top in this picture). The paraffin wax of the crayons was less dense than the pigment and it floated to the top (or bottom in the photo). They have an interesting stripy effect when viewed from the side, no? The paraffin side of our hearts doesn’t color all that well, but we take comfort in knowing it will be useful for magical watercolor paintings. A child can draw with the clearish wax, then watercolor over the wax drawing for a batik result. Anyway, I’m really curious whether we’d get a better result that colors on both sides if we used higher quality crayons.

Here are Lucas’s finished Valentines 2010, wrapped, signed, and ready to go for Friday’s exchange at school. I hope the children like them. I think they will be a hit!

After many long years of gathering dust, The Notorious Rug Project has been worked. Not finished, mind you. Just worked. For the first time in … um … approximately six and a half years. Yesterday was about waiting and worrying, so I dusted off my yarn, unstuck some stuck parts of my c. 1930s, 8-harness Gilmore loom, pulled out the new 28-inch shuttle I bought myself last September in Solvang, and started weaving. I wove 20 inches of The Rug.

It had been so long, I forgot how much I love the chunk-CHUNK sound of pulling back the beater, and the clatter of the metal heddles as the shafts go up and down. This is the noise that woke my sleeping infants; these, the clunky-pinchy moving parts that threatened their curious fingers. And while the boys were both curious about what the heck I was doing, and Lucas desperately wanted to help me weave and quickly learned how to load my shuttle for me, they mostly just played beside me while I worked. Ahhh … Now that is finally what I envisioned all those years ago!

Isn’t life amazing? Yesterday I held a kind of vigil for some loved ones, quietly and patiently waiting for news about health issues. My two candles burned all the time I was home and until I closed my eyes to sleep. It’s good work—holding people in your heart all day, breathing small prayers past your lips and into your everyday actions. Wash a dish, say a prayer. Take a walk, say a prayer. Fold the laundry, say a prayer.

Today, we’re still waiting for important news from one loved one. So the vigil continues.

Ian and the boys are robust, lovely, and soldiering on. We have daily conflicts and challenges, things to learn, and things to work on. And yet we march forward each day to face them, process them, learn from them, and to make the world a better place through sharing our love. And we are happy.

The world keeps turning. Projects end, begin, and continue. Homework comes due (yikes!). Dinners are cooked. Metaphorical and imaginary fires (especially if you’re Baby Asher Firefighter) must be put out. What is needed? How can we help? We pick up our tools and go to work.

Some of us fake it until we can make it. Some play-act through our fear and confusion. “You need surgery, Mom. Go to sleep. I have to cut you open and take out this lump. Oh no! Here is another one. Better get that one, too, before it spreads. OK. Now you’ll be all better. Does it hurt? Here is some medicine. I’ve saved you!” Processing … My heart seems to break a little more every day … for all the good and all the bad in life.

And speaking of hearts, celebrations for Valentine’s Day are in the works. I get to make and then serve a Valentine’s snack for 27 hungry children on Friday (mmm … strawberry muffins with honey-sweetened cream-cheese topping). Tokens of friendship and love are being made by small hands everywhere. Can you hear the click of their pens, the slicing of their safety scissors in paper, the sprinkling of glitter over white glue? I can. I can hear the painstaking scratching of No. 2 pencils signing names 26 times.

We humans are a study in the paradox of steadfastness and flexibility. We turn to one another—some offering, some asking for help. We carry fears and frustrations, crippling pains, loves, and our joie de vivre through all the buffeting storms.

Isn’t life amazing? Isn’t it grand?

Edit: The news we were waiting for is Happy News!

I made another thing—one that you can hold in your hand. Before, it wasn’t there. Then I made it and now it is! This making stuff is quite miraculous to me still.

Ever since I read Amanda Soule’s book The Creative Family, I had it stuck in my head that I wanted to make Asher a birthday crown. I tried talking myself out of doing it a dozen times—after all, Asher’s really picky about what he’ll wear on his body and we have had more than enough fights tantrums disagreements over clothing during the past six months. Honestly, I thought he would never wear a birthday crown, and I try hard not to set myself up for disappointments of the kind that might come with hand-sewing a special gift for the birthday boy to wear and then finding that he won’t wear it.

But, two days before Asher’s birthday, I still couldn’t stop thinking about making him a crown. And so I started. I had the felt at home already.

I drew several designs before settling on flying birds. Then I noodled around with the birds till I liked their arrangement. I dragged the kids to the fabric store to find the right kind of stars and some pretty thread.

And I worked diligently with my rainbow stitches. And Lucas helped with some, but not many because Mama is a control freak.

I used silver thread to make the stars sparkle. And the Gingher embroidery scissors my boys bought me for Christmas sure came in handy!

I made the inside lining green like the leaves, hand-sewed the two pieces together, and attached the elastic to the back. And I finished in time.

And Asher wore it! I’m so proud of this! This photo is one I took the day after his birthday party because I wasn’t satisfied with my shots from the party—he just wouldn’t sit still that day! Doesn’t he look regal?

(Lucas wants a crown for his birthday, too.)

I guess now I pack the crown away to use again on his next birthday, but I kind of hate to do that. I think I have to for it to be a special, though. What would you do?

Such a big day we had last Sunday. Our littlest boy turned 3 years old!

There was a birthday crown, which — surprise! surprise! — he actually wore!

And there were grandpas and grandmas all over the place! Even RoRo and Nana. And special friends and Auntie Kellie came too.

And balloons arrived, which sent the Birthday Boy over the MOON with excitement and inspired many crazy antics!

We had decorated with the birthday bunting and this repurposed Christmas wreath and purple and yellow primroses in pots, and everything looked so festive.

We ate croissant sandwiches and salad and potatoes and strawberries for lunch.

Asher got many lovely presents, including toys like this helicopter and a special doctor’s kit, and big-boy underpants with Thomas the Train on them …

and delightful new books (and we read every one of them three times that day)!

Asher got his wish for a purple hippo chocolate birthday cake. (And mommy got to reuse a specialty cake pan bought last year for Lucas’s birthday. Win win!)

Our guests fussed over the Birthday Boy, who was happy and acting out and a trifle overwhelmed when everyone left—but not so worn out that he couldn’t horse around with his brother for a while, read all his new books, run with the balloons, play doctor, and go for a walk through the neighborhood before he collapsed in a sleepy pile on my bed with me. We both napped that day and it was the best birthday present I could have asked for.

It was a happy birthday!