40

Poppies

A lot is going on right now and I’ve not had much time to write. I had a birthday this week and it got me ruminating. Here’s some of what I’ve learned in my 40 years. (Some of these say “you,” but they all mean “me.”)

1. clean something every day, even if it’s only your hands

2. read to your kids; it is food for life

3. mothering well is largely a matter of knowing what things to get excited about, and what not to

4. wine is wonderful

5. smiling makes you feel good and it’s free (sometimes I forget this one)

6. make a place for butterflies and birds in your world; you won’t be sorry

7. stuff is only stuff; it all wears out eventually

8. beware of modeling beeswax in the laundry

9. tell your story, but don’t get so caught up in telling it that you forget to live the next chapter

10. children are resilient; however, test this only with careful discrimination

11. make your own meaning, don’t swallow anyone else’s

12. read poetry; read everything

13. when you fuck up, breathe, and then start over

14. being married to your best friend is ideal

15. try new things every day

16. exercise is good for me even if I don’t like it

17. fashion is stupid—occasionally fun, but stupid

18. it feels good to help people

19. somehow, time can both fly and drag—at the same time

20. words can indeed hurt

21. onions and Brussels sprouts are actually delicious

22. sing more, dance more

23. be your own beautiful freaky self out loud; if you don’t you’re cheating everyone

24. avoid the pink aisle and boys need dolls

25. sometimes the best course of action is to set it on fire

26. vote

27. gardening is cheaper than therapy

28. feminism benefits everyone

29. art is important, and more important to make than to consume

30. boys are actually sweeter than they want you to think they are

31. love and kindness is all the religion I need

32. equality for only some is no equality at all

33. find your cause; better yet, find a dozen of them and get to work

34. miracles are everywhere and often go by the names of “humanity” and “nature,” “life” and “science”; as such, they are no less miraculous

35. making it often feels better than buying it

36. I cannot “do all the things”; nor should I try to

37. a whole lot of things that bother me today won’t matter a bit tomorrow, so I should just chill

38. I am still learning

39. friendship is as necessary to me as air

40. my ultimate career goal is still philanthropist

The Theft of Thor’s Hammer: Fourth Grade Play

Thor

Last month, my son’s fourth grade class put on their spring play, The Theft of Thor’s Hammer. It was a funny story and the children performed beautifully in two performances. I only have photos from the performance in which Lucas played Thor. Doesn’t he look mighty? I was so proud to see him try for a big part—the part he really wanted—and get it. He’s never put himself out there like that before. And boy did he! I think this part required quite a lot of courage. You’ll see why in a minute.

Freya

Here’s Freya, the goddess associated with love, beauty, fertility, gold (and sorcery, war, and death—don’t mess with Freya).

Frey, with Sif in the Background

And here’s glorious Frey, with Thor’s wife Sif, an earth goddess whose hair is “like golden sheaves of wheat,” in the background.

Angry Thor

See Thor’s grumbly, angry face? That’s ACTING. I love it. I also love the wool roving used for his hair and beard.

Loki

This darling child played Loki with such athleticism and feeling. Truly it was a joy to watch Loki’s antics.

Loki

Loki borrows Freya’s falcon feather cloak.

Loki and Thrym

In the play, the giant Thrym steals Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir. The Asir gods are imperiled if Thor doesn’t get it back. Thrym says he’ll return the hammer to Thor if Freya will consent to become his wife.

Freya Is Angry: The Gods Suggest She Marry Thrym the Giant

Several of the of Norse gods say this isn’t a bad plan. Freya, on the other hand, is highly insulted. She will not consent! (Go Freya!)

Thrym

Thrym insists and waits eagerly for his bride.

Loki Confronts Thor

Loki suggests that Thor disguise himself as Freya to go get the hammer. This is not Thor’s favorite idea, but after his fury subsides, he reluctantly agrees.

Thor Dressed as Freya

Thor and Loki are dressed as Freya and her maid. The veil hides Thor’s manly visage.

Giants

Giants' Song

At Thrym’s home, the giants bumble about and sing a song. Thor-as-Freya is invited to a wedding feast, where he puts away a lot of food before unveiling his true god-self and bonking Thrym with the hammer. Mustn’t fight giants on an empty stomach, after all.

Mjolnir, Thor's Hammer, Is Back

With Mjolnir back in Thor’s possession, the world of the Asir gods is saved. Odin and the others are grateful.

Welcome Spring!

BEACH

I’m catching up from last weekend. Last Saturday we celebrated Delphinia, a tradition that we have held for about 20 years. Friends come from far and wide to play on the beach at Point Reyes National Seashore and to declare that springtime has come! The time for breathing out, adventuring, travel, enterprise, and busyness has returned and we can throw off our quiet introspection of the winter months. This year, the weather was absolutely perfect! We sometimes have a chilly beach experience, but not this year.

Champagne! Why, Thank You!

Champagne? Why, yes, thank you!

Daddy and Asher

We picnicked. The daring children splashed in the cold waves.

Dragon Kite

We played and flew kites. Sweet X has a nifty dragon kite. We had a community fire; we shared our intention and our gratitude. Two mamas are expecting. We’ll soon have two new baby friends in the world! How amazing is that?

Beach Doggy

So many of us have dogs now and we brought them along. Five dogs makes things extra exciting. This was Solstice’s first trip to the beach—as far as we know. He’s new to our family.

Manly Men

The guys found a giant log up the beach. They decided it was in the wrong place.

Erecting the Log

And in the wrong orientation.

She Made It!

Then they hatched an even greater plan. (Everyone in this photo is at least 6 feet tall.)

J on Top

And brave J climbed to the tipy-top, amply proving her courage, . I watched the whole thing and I still don’t know how she did it.

Limantour

Point Reyes is so lovely. This is one of my favorite places on earth. Perhaps it’s because we have been coming here to celebrate and adventure my entire adult life. It’s pretty far from home—more than three hours in the car—but it’s definitely worth the trip. As is our family tradition, we picked up garbage on the beach before we left and hiked it out. Earth Day was the next day, after all, so we worked extra hard.

Lucas Leaving Pt. Reyes

We didn’t leave the beach until 7:30 in the evening!

Soggy Lucas (Leaving Pt. Reyes)

We were tired and soggy, but very happy. And our adventure didn’t end there! Our friends, T and E invited us to camp with them in their trailer at Samuel P. Taylor campground in the redwoods of Marin county. Staying overnight there with them meant that the fun didn’t have to end, we didn’t have to drive 3 hours home at night, and we got to play and hike a bit in the forest in the morning. It was sooooo great waking up on Earth Day to all that green!

Camping

It was beautiful. Suki dog patiently tolerated all of our noise and business. We had a yummy breakfast together.

E and T (I took this one!)

I got to play with E’s iPhone and took this funky Hipstamatic shot of her and T.

Clowning with My Sons

And we got silly. Nothing pleases little boys more than allowing them time to be goofballs.

Our Family! (E's Shot)

Thanks for the family photo, E! (And for all the photos!)

Naturally, I’d like to show you all the wildflowers and beautiful emerald trees but this post is getting waaaaaaaaaay too long …

Asher in the Wildflowers

Sunlit Leaves

Oops. They sneaked in here anyway. Ahem! So, I’ll skip our stop at the Mission San Rafael on the way home. Perhaps I’ll write about that another time.

For now, I need to clean my house and get ready to have family over for a birthday party this evening. Lucas turns 10 on Tuesday!

Good Friday

Easter Cookies

Well, it’s Friday evening. Good Friday, in fact. It has been a good Friday, if I look at it from the right sort of angle. Life doesn’t always (read: almost never) follow according to plan, you see. So when it doesn’t go just how I expect and I manage to roll with it, I consider that a win.

We had some dear friends over for a sleepover. Alas, poor Asher fell ill right at dinnertime. The party went on around him, and he tried his best to stay cheerful throughout. A touchy tummy and a mild fever can weigh a boy down, though.

And while I don’t like exposing other people’s children to our germs, and tend toward feeling really guilty about this sort of thing when it happens, their sweet mama said, “I’m not worried. It’s too late to save them from germs, so they might as well have some fun.” So, although Asher had a couched and run-down kind of day today, Lucas was able to carry on playing and enjoying himself and his friends.

We visited and made some Easter cookies—at least, we got some baked before our friends had to go home. The boys and Ian and I carried on decorating them ourselves. As you can see, we pulled out all the stops.

We have plans for the holiday weekend, but we’ll just have to see what happens. Poor Asher has just been sick all over.

Perfect Play

Rainclouds

Sailboats

Asher

Sailboats

Lucas's Boat

Sailboats and Curious Dog

Sailboats

Raining

No words are needed, I think.

Bits of Fantastic

Rainbow Watercolor

There is a deliciously long list of fantastic things in my life lately. And because I have a moment or two, I’m savoring them. What’s not to feel grateful for?

~ Hosting friends for a kid-friendly St. Patrick’s Day party, complete with my first from-scratch lamb stew. Yum!

~ Cleaning our home for this party. A party is the best reason to clean.

~ Reveling in a surprisingly work-free weekend, when I expected to have to buckle down.

~ Watching my boys play with total concentration with their “cousins,” who are so very dear to us all. They are so comfortable with each other.

~ Observing how these children are all growing, growing, growing in myriad beautiful ways.

~ Brunching with friends most of Sunday, complete with a skip out to a nail salon with my girlfriends for a pedicure and pink/purple iridescent polish. First one in … years. So luxurious and fun.

~ Inquiring into the health of parents, backs, workouts and …

~ Listening, witnessing, offering friendship and support.

~ Having enough home-raised eggs to give some away.

~ Choosing the prudent path of getting home before it was too late to ready ourselves for a busy, exciting week. It’s a little sad when the fun ends, but letting go feels good, too.

~ Studying spelling words (Norse god names) with my son, who it going to nail them, I think.

~ Preparing for Lucas’s special week of one-on-one time with the Waldorf school’s farmer. Five extra-early mornings to greet and care for the animals of the school farm—a rare opportunity for any child.

~ Realizing that it’s OK that all the rain boots are still wet on the insides from Friday’s splashing and galloping in rain puddles. It was worth it.

~ Painting for an hour or so in my home until the daylight fled and I could no longer see the colors well enough to continue.

~ Eating a simple, delicious, fulfilling dinner with my tired, happy family.

~ Getting everyone in bed early to rest up for Monday and the early alarm.

~ Signing up for my first plein air painting workshop next month—at an iris farm, no less. SQUEE!

~ Thinking—hard—about getting more exercise. Yes, I’m slowly warming up to the idea. Mustn’t rush these things.

~ Noticing buds on my lilac, tons of new growth on my clematis vine, morning glory seedlings popping up, and growth on my new-this-year irises.

~ Balancing our many social opportunities with our need for downtime, hopefully in the right proportions, for the next few weeks.

~ Feeling excited and grateful that Lucas got the part he wanted in the fourth-grade play. It’s so wonderful to see him reach for something and catch it!

~ Rejoicing to see my little guy’s imagination blossom with Leprechauns and sweet mischief. “Shhh! Mama, do you hear the Leprechaun laughing? I think he’s over there, under the couch.”

~ Loving my husband more and more every day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Asher: Fifth Birthday Letter

{This letter was started on January 31, worked on again February 24, and finished today, February 28.}

IMG_1029

Dear Asher,

Happy birthday, my love! You are 5-years-old! You are so very excited to be 5 now. Every day for the last week I had to tell you how many sleeps until your birthday.

So let me paint a little picture about you and your life right now. You are the most precocious child, always chatting and singing through nearly every moment. You tell wonderful and hair-raising stories to anyone who will listen, especially about Earthland and your adventures there, your pet dragons of various breeds, the battles you engage in to save the world, and your wife Jennifer, who is having a baby with you. (This development is very recent.) The baby is a boy and his name is Morlassus. I hope to hear more about Jennifer and Morlassus.

You are very much at home in the Red Rose Kindergarten at our Waldorf school. Your teachers both adore you and you seem rather popular. Yesterday you told me that there are two girls who are in love with you, but since you were being discreet, you only told me the first sound of their names. What a gentleman you are. Lucas promptly guessed the girls’ names, and you eagerly confirmed he was right.  It seems that you have many friends that you run around with on the playground. I hear a lot about Elijah, Lilly, Enzo, Landon, and of course, Noah, and many others. It’s fun to watch your world expanding to include new people. When I’ve had the privilege of watching your class during circle time, I’ve been delighted to see that you enjoy the songs and movements so much. You pay attention and participate with joy. You love to clown with your buddies.

Asher and N

I hear more about battling from you than I remember hearing from your brother when he was your age. I don’t know if that’s part of being a younger sibling, for your interests tend toward the more mature things your brother likes.

At home, you and Lucas spend a lot of your free time together. Usually you get along pretty well, although now that you are older, the two of you fight more often. When you do, there’s all kind of shouting and often tears. I think you work very hard to get your point across and, in the long run, I think this is good for you. You stick up for yourself well; you push back when he’s trying to control or manipulate you. You are possessive of your things and sometimes don’t like being told how to play with them, which Lucas often does. At other times, you are happy to let him lead your games and imagination play. When the two of you work together, and allow each other space to create, you can be so agreeable and amazing—magical things happen in your minds. That part is fun to watch quietly, out of the corner of my eye so you don’t catch me. Together you are making up your own language, which as far as I can tell involves both of you making up words and Lucas correcting yours. You both enjoy hatching and training creatures and playing with your pet dragons.

~~~~

February 24

Mama-made Dragon Hat

Asher, I can’t believe how much time has passed since your birthday. Here it is almost a month later and I still haven’t finished this letter. I’ll continue to try to paint a picture of who you are now.

Face Paint Crayons: Dragon Boy

At 5, you are formidable. You are confident and brave. You seem to know what you want and what you’re about most of the time. Although you often happily follow in your brother’s footsteps, you also sometimes pursue your own path with a kind of determination and certainty that I deeply admire.

You talk constantly. When you’re not talking, you are singing or jibber-jabbering in a steady stream-of-consciousness narrative.  I love to hear you singing, and I think you have a beautiful voice. Sometimes you and Lucas will sing together; he takes the low parts and you take the high and you weave your music together in a spontaneous and exciting way. You seem to have an instinct for it. I confess I sometimes find it hard to think in the midst of all your music-making. But I know you are processing your world, changing it through the power of your words, figuring out how things work, and joyfully plucking from it all the wacky humor and opportunities for fun as possible.

You also tell lots of stories. You enjoy tricking people, so you now tell stories that aren’t true in the hopes that people will believe you and you can have a giggle. And sometimes, I think you believe your stories yourself. The line between reality and fantasy is, well, rarely observed and certainly never hard and fast. You have been known to doorbell ditch, both from the outside and the inside of the house, by which I mean that you will knock on a hard surface until an adult goes to answer the door, only to find no one there.

Light Saber Battle

For fun, you love to play with LEGOs and building spaceships is your specialty. You also enjoy blocks, but choose them less frequently nowadays. Once in a while you pick up a stuffed animal or your little Waldorf house elf Miko and play and play. When Lucas is home, you two enjoy “fighting” or “training” in martial arts. Lucas has convinced you that he is in fact a martial arts ninja master, and you are his willing and obedient student. He’s even got you calling him Master within the context of your game. Sometimes this play is relaxed and groovy, and you both enjoy it a lot. Other times, the sparring can lead to hurts. You were both given lightsabers for Christmas, and you love to battle each other in the evening, when the lightsabers glow beautifully in the darkness. Basically, you and Lucas are best friends and brothers, which is something special, I think—you compete, fight, and play with each other; you stick up for and cover for each other; and you learn from each other constantly. I often watch with wonder at how you interact, knowing that you’re both learning so much and gaining so much by being brothers. It’s marvelous.

IMG_1713

We’re at the cabin in Tahoe for a family vacation now. Today, I watched you playing in the snow with great vigor and enthusiasm—never mind that it’s been two years since we came to play in the snow. You rambled through the woods near the cabin, enjoying your freedom and time to explore. You threw snowballs at your brother and didn’t mind when you got hit yourself. You never got too cold or out of sorts. I love to let you and your brother roam. Opportunities to do so safely are fewer than I would wish. To see you tromping through the woods, following your nose or the fairies or whatever it is that pulls you onward is a wonderful thing.

IMG_1566

~~~~

February 28

Blade and Shortbow

Your latest obsession is Dungeons and Dragons. You now talk about it constantly. We probably should have held off on this for a few years, but as your brother is the perfect age for this kind of role playing and you absolutely will not be left out, we have compromised. Daddy is a wonderful DM. He has painted miniatures for your characters according to your descriptions of them and he is creating quests for you and Lucas that are good for you, requiring that your characters work together as friends and companions. I like this, for it’s a way of exercising your imaginations in cooperative ways instead of competitive ones. Once, many years ago, a friend told me how to raise brothers, for he himself was raising two boys in a way quite opposite how his own parents raised him and his brother. He said, “You must find ways to make your boys work together, even if that means they strive against you, the parent, as a team. Avoid all situations where your boys are striving against each other. That is how to foster brotherhood and closeness in your sons.” I’ll never forget that, and my heart tells me he is right.

Anyway, you are currently playing D&D as a “dorf” named Shortbow, which may be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. You are beardless, because you don’t care for beards, and you are an adult. Not a child. Not a teenager. You like to inject all sorts of things into the story Daddy is telling during a game.

IMG_1480

You have great new skills now. You can snap your fingers. You can throw a mean snowball. You recently braved the two-wheel bike (with training wheels) and Lucas gave you his old bike for your birthday. You ride it often on our street now, while Lucas rides his bike or his scooter. You seem to like the speed you can achieve now. You also can hop on one foot quite a distance and you can count pretty well up to 30, missing a few numbers along the way. Same with your alphabet, but we’re not worrying about that. I think it is rather funny that your interest in letters has come mainly from the kids on the playground. (Take that, Doubters. Waldorf kids not pushed will learn their letters and numbers in their own time, probably in Kindergarten.) And of course, you pay attention to your brother writing and practicing his spelling words. One of my favorite sights is seeing you both absorbed in a book or writing away in your own blank notebooks. A few days ago you wrote an entire page of “spells” in crisp, neat, blocky, made-up scribble letters. I love them.

I can go on and on, of course, for you are endlessly fascinating to me. I love you completely and I’m so proud of you.

Love,

Mama

 

Spreading the Love

Valentine's Day Breakfast

Decoration

Heart Composition Books

Valentine's Day Nature Table

Valentines from Friends

Valentines from Friends

Redwork Pillow from Grandma

Valentine for the Birdies

Happy Valentine’s Day from our family to yours.

You can find this post also on Homespun Waldorf’s Winter Carnival
Homespun Grab Button

Asher’s Jungle Birthday

Finished Jungle Birthday Cake

Asher had a birthday recently. I’ve gone on and on about it because—well, because I love celebrating and I think he’s the bees knees. Here are some shots of his jungle birthday cake and the party we had with his friends.

Finished Jungle Birthday Cake

This cake was so much fun to make. The most time-consuming part was baking two separate cakes in three containers: two round cake pans and one large pyrex bowl. It took me a while to figure out what to do with this, but I ultimately decided I wanted to have them placed next to each other, with one being higher than the other two. Then I realized I didn’t have any kind of serving platter big enough to do that, so I went out to the garage and found a big piece of particle board. I wrapped the top in green paper and voila!

These plastic toys are Playmobil toys (plus a mismatched hippo) that Lucas got as gifts years ago. He never much cared for Playmobil and they come with a gazillion pieces, so these were packed up in the garage as a someday/rainy day toy set. They came in very handy for decorating this cake and I think they made it look spectacular.

My real stroke of brilliance—the part I’ll take credit for—was using the veggies to make it look jungly. I went round and round my local supermarket looking for candy and cookies and things that I could use as jungle plants and trees. I didn’t find much. Then it occured to me that the best way to do plants would be to use plants. I bought one bunch of dino kale, one pot of living wheat grass, and one bunch of parsley. Oh, and a pineapple, mainly for it’s spiny top. I worried that Asher might freak out when he saw veggies on his birthday cake, but fortunately the jungle animals distracted him and he seemed pretty awed by it.

Finished Jungle Birthday Cake

I used the Waldorf birthday cake recipe and a chocolate zucchini cake recipe. I used store-bought frosting in a can, and used Wilton brand food dye to color it. What’s kind of weird is that the sand colored frosting changed to light green when we were at the park for the party.

Parachute Games

Anyway, it was a jungley party at the park and the weather was perfect. The five guests plus older siblings ran about like crazy and played on the play equipment most of the time. Ian took the kids on a jungle expedition through the almond orchard that is adjacent to the park and then they played parachute games.

Parachute Games

Parachute Games

Parachute Games

That was tons of fun. We ate sandwiches and fruit salad and ants on logs. Asher got some fine presents that he’s excited about and all the kids got an animal mask and a plush animal in their goody bags. I wish I had a picture of them—Lucas painted an animal on each goody bag and they were beautiful.

Asher and N

All this started with Asher wanting to be a monkey at his birthday party. Alas, we had no monkey mask. But he was quite taken with the zebra, so the crisis was averted. Here his is with one of his best buddies. It was a great success.

We came home afterward and prepared for Party Stage Two, which was just family and was lovely.

Valentine Stones Tutorial

Valentine Stones

I made these fun valentine stones for my guys last year. They’re better than sweets, in my opinion (my kids might disagree). They are very simple to make, but require a little time for drying, so give yourself a day or two.

Materials

Materials

* flat stones from your yard or the craft store (any color)

* tiny fabric scraps in valentine colors (you decide)

* mod podge glue and a paint brush

* sharpie pen

Tutorial

Wash your stones and let them dry completely. Cut out small hearts from tiny fabric scraps. I admit that if you’re a quilter, you have advantage in the scraps department. Cut hearts that will fit on your stones; you may be surprised at how small they need to be—of course, this depends on your stones. For myself, I had stones of varying sizes and I like the variation.

Dab some mod podge on your stone, then place your fabric heart on it. With your paintbrush, coat the entire top of the stone with more mod podge. Smooth out any wrinkles in the fabric heart. Set it aside to dry for several hours or overnight.

Repeat as many times as you like! Frankly, I think these valentine stones make a big impact when you have lots of them.

When the tops of your hearts are dry and shiny from the mod podge varnish, turn them over. Write a word or brief message on the other side of the stone with your sharpie pen. Remember the chalky valentine heart candies? What are those called? Conversation hearts?

Valentine Stones

If you or your child is giving these stone valentines as special gifts to friends or teachers, stock messages like “Be mine” work great. If you are making these for your family, you can get more personal. For example, I also used phrases like “I’ll always love you,” and “I’m so proud of you,” and “All we need is love.” Make a special valentine stone for each member of your family, with a message just for them. You know what they need to hear!

Do you have a meaningful family joke? A lyric to your family’s favorite song? A family motto or mission statement? Any of these would be perfect for your custom valentine stones.

Finally, paint the writing side of each stone with mod podge, too. This will give the stone a finished appearance when it dries.

Valentine's Day Breakfast Table

Now arrange the valentine stones artfully for Valentine’s Day, or wrap them as a Valentine’s gift. Your family will have fun holding the stones and turning them over to read all the messages. Mine did!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • About Sara

    Thanks for visiting! I’m Sara, editor and writer, wife to Ian, and mother of two precious boys. I am living each day to the fullest and with as much grace, creativity, and patience as I can muster. This is where I write about living, loving, and engaging fully in family life and the world around me. I let my hair down here. I learn new skills here. I strive to be a better human being here. And I tell the truth.

    Our children attend Waldorf school and we are enriching our home and family life with plenty of Waldorf-inspired festivals, crafts, and stories.

    © 2003–2018 Please do not use my photographs or text without my permission.

    “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” —Ursula K. LeGuinn

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