Day 11. I’m down 9 or 10 pounds on Day 11. That’s some crazy progress. If that is correct and I’m not just crazy, then that means I have about 10 pounds to go to be at my dream weight.

I’m feeling better, both emotionally (see said progress) and physically. My cravings have evened out. My appetite has decreased. 

I’ve been eating well: eggs, roasted chicken, tri tip, steak, sauteed spinach, mountains of salad made interesting by the addition of red peppers, olives and cucumbers, sauteed chard, avocado, artichoke hearts, salmon with lemon dill sauce, small bits of cheese for snacks, coffee with splenda and heavy cream. I have herbal tea when I’m feeling munchy during the day or before bed. Sugar-free gum helps. Lots of sparkling and ice water and the occasional diet coke. We splurged on crab legs and grilled shrimp at Red Lobster last week. It was tough when the server brought the cheesy biscuits to our table, but the kids enjoyed them. I don’t know how to express this without sounding bitchy, but the truth is, my resolved was strengthened when I looked around the dining room and noticed how many of the Red Lobster guests were clearly very obese.

Last night, Ian and I got a rare—and I mean RARE—treat. My parents babysat our kids so we could go and see my high school friend, Julia Dollison, perform at Savannah’s at the Red Lion Inn’s. Julie, as I know her from way back, is a superbly original, lyrical jazz vocalist who is making a name for herself among musicians and non-musicians alike. I know that vocal jazz isn’t everybody’s thing; it’s really not my thing anymore, although I used to be more into it in high school when I sang with choirs and saw a lot of live jazz performances. But I tell you, if you have even an inkling of a taste for jazz (or vocalists such as Diana Krall or Norah Jones), you should check her out! Her voice is airy at times and makes me think that an angel is singing just to me inside my head and at other times it’s round, deep, and buttery. She is a true virtuoso; she arranges jazz standards so that they are fresh, young, and totally new. She sings the lyrics with meaning and heart, as though she created them herself. She darts and flits through the music, showcasing her impressive range. She sounds like brass instruments when she scats. She also writes her own songs, which are honest and playful and sometimes sad. 

I’m not a music writer. I feel the description I have created doesn’t do her justice. Julie’s debut CD is called Observatory. She’s working on a new project now through a site called Artist Share. Last night, she and pianist Geoffrey Keezer played her Observatory tunes along with the new music they plan to record for the new CD, which will be called Lifted. On the Artist Share site, you can see video clips and interviews and stuff.

So, please check her out. She’s worth a listen.

It was a wonderful date night with Ian. We smootched in the darkened club, drank seltzer water, and ate steak and salad. So, so nice and relaxing to be away from the constantly chattering monkeys who dominate our every waking hour.

Well, I’ve been Atkinsing for 8 days now. I’ve lost approximately 6 pounds so far, much of which was probably water. Fortunately, I have Ian’s help and support as he’s doing it too, but I won’t discuss his situation, goals, or experience.

I’m happy with my progress so far, but I have to say, it hasn’t been easy. Perhaps I just have romantic memories of the first time I went on the Atkins diet. I remember that after about 4-5 days, it got pretty easy. I’ve been struggling more with cravings this time around. I know for a fact that starting my period on the same day I started my diet didn’t help me. For the first three days I felt woosey, achy, headachy, bitchy, and sad. On day four I was busy and rushing around to get to my magazine job. I went in to Starbucks and automatically ordered a sugar-free vanilla latte. Later, after I had enjoyed my latte, I remembered that lattes are made with carby milk. A blow-it move.

During my pregnancy and the last 10 months since Asher’s birth, I didn’t really deny myself much of anything. I didn’t go hog-wild exactly, either, but I enjoyed eating breads, cereals, rice, tortillas, chips, all fruits (which I adore) and veggies, etc., without worrying too much about the consequences. I think perhaps my getting very, very sick and then recovering gave me a “Eat, Drink, and Be Merry” sort of outlook. Gratitude and a determination to enjoy my life, family, and friends is a good way of looking at how I conducted the last 10 months of my life.

But now it’s time to pay the piper. I’ve been feeling less confident and less attractive because I’m still carrying baby weight. I don’t have much free time to devote to exercise right now, but I can control what I put in my mouth. 

I have some trepidation about trying to diet through the holidays, but the way I look at it is, if I don’t try to diet through the holidays, then all those yummy treats are only going to set me back that much more. 

So, here’s me raising a glass of ice water to a successful Diet Round 2.

Ian is at a conference in San Jose. He’ll be back tonight sometime. 

It’s tough taking care of two small children by myself. [I love you, honey. You’re the best daddy in the whole world.] I definately never want to have to do this on a permanent basis. Just getting the three of us out the door this morning to take Lucas to school was a monumental feat!

I’m working at the magazine this week, which makes it extra hard. Asher stayed with grandma VoVo yesterday and she picked L up from school. I felt anxious all morning because the four of us were all scattered to different places. Ian in another city, Lucas at school, Asher apart from me, and me in my occasional work space in East Sacramento. I felt so far apart from everyone. I’m glad the boys were together in the afternoon.

Grandma made us dinner yesterday, so that was a giant help. Getting Lucas to eat it, however, was tough. He unfortunately did not get his Advent chocolate because of all the fussing and arguing over grandma’s spinach. I guess he prefers it raw as a salad, but I thought it was totally yummy.

Today Asher is off to the Bs’ house for babysitting. Lucas will join him there this afternoon. I’m off to the magazine again as soon as the baby wakes up from his first nap.

The Advent Garden

by Barbara Dewey

The season of Advent may be marked by the Advent Garden, created for the kindergarten and lower grades. Often held in late afternoon or in the early evening, the room will be dark and filled with a mood of wonder and quiet anticipation. Teachers lay out a large spiral path of evergreen boughs. In the center of the spiral they place a large white candle. Along the edges of the green spiral path they intersperse golden stars. The candle is lit. and stone crystals twinkle like stars on a dark night.

All is quiet. Each child in turn, holding a red apple with a small unlit candle inserted into it, slowly walks along the spiral path and lights the candle from the center light. On the return the child places the apple and candle on one of the golden stars. When all the children have had a turn, the garden path is aglow from all the smaller lights. In many Advent Gardens, lyre playing, where appropriate, helps to create a special mood. Sometimes the children and observing parents sing as the children proceed through the garden.

Don’t ever again start Atkins and your period on the same weekend. It’s too much to deal with. I haven’t felt very well for a couple of days. The sashimi we had last night helped a bit, but this morning I’m nausious and grumpy and headachey.  Hopefully The Switch will happen sometime today and all will be right again.

So, today is the day that Ian and I start the Atkins diet again. We’re tired of feeling flabby and extra round post baby. I’m hoping the diet won’t affect my milk supply much. We reason that if we can get through the holiday on Atkins, then that’s loads of extra holiday calories and carbs that won’t attach to our tummies and butts.

I may try a slightly modified approach to induction, because I want to make sure I’m still eating properly to feed Asher. The truth is, now Asher is getting some of his nutritional needs met by other foods, however, it’s kind of impossible to estimate how much. 

This morning we ate scrambled eggs with cheese, coffee + splenda, and I had half and half in mine. For lunch we went to Chipotle and got burrito bowls with chicken, fajita veggies, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, salsa, and guac. So, Ian says the cravings have already begun. So far, no cravings for me, although I don’t feel as full as I do when I eat bread or some other carby thing for lunch.

We need to support each other through this and be encouraging. We’ve done it before. I am sure we can do it again. Hopefully this is the last time either of us will be facing the need to lose 20 to 25 pounds!

After a 10-minute, intricate monologue about some damn thing that probably had to do with machines and explosions, he said, “Mom, I’m really creative.”
“Yes, son, you really are. You have creativity coming out your ears.”
“And out my penis and out my butt!”

***

5 a.m.
“Dad! DAD!”
“Hmm? What?”
“Dad! Can we get up now?”
“Lucas, it’s still dark. It’s too early to get up.”
“Dad! It’s not early. It’s dawn!” 

***

“Goodnight. I love you.”
(silence for 3 minutes, then piercing screams)
“MOOOOOOMMMY! MOMMY! IT HURTS!”
“What hurts?” I ask, feeling angry.
“My penis! I was scratching my penis and it’s stuck in my zipper!”
“Oh God!” I ran into his room and slowly and carefully extracted his foreskin from his sleeper’s zipper, amid his whimpers. Fortunately, there was no blood and no lasting damage.

It is high drama around here. Never a dull moment, not even at 5 a.m.

Yesterday I had a harrowing and completely stupid adventure. It was just the dumbest, most frustrating thing I’ve experienced in a while: Asher and I went shopping at Trader Joes. When we left the store, he was getting tired and hungry. After unlocking my car, loading my groceries, and nursing the baby in the driver’s seat, I discovered that I’d misplaced my keys. I spent over an hour in the TJ parking lot looking for my fucking keys–in the car, in the cart, under the baby, in the grocery bags, under the seats, on the dash, on top of the car roof, under the car, in the glovebox, under Lucas’s carseat, under Asher’s carseat, in the bushes next to the car, and on and on.

He was with me and the car was open but we coudn’t drive home! I spent so much time searching and searching and searching for them. Finally, I had to call Ian to have him rescue us. Another friend witnessed my idiot plight. It was embarrasing and ridiculous and I cried my eyes out. Asher just got more and more tired, but fortunately he didn’t throw a hissy fit.

Last night, after Ian came home from work, he and Lucas took a flashlight outside and found my keys easily in my car. The were wedged just out of sight under a storage-box-thingy on the passenger’s side. They must have fallen down while Asher was nursing. 

In keeping with long-established tradition, we will be hosting our 13th Annual Christmas Party on December 25th starting at 7 p.m. Please bring your joyous, talented, sexy selves to our home to help us celebrate the Solstice/Christmas holiday and our many blessings. Come and mingle with friends and loved ones—after the blood-family obligations are done. This is an informal occasion where we can let our hair down and relax at the near-end of a busy, busy year, so feel free to dress however you like. You are welcome to exchange gifts at this party, but please note, gift giving is not required and will certainly be low-key this year. Food and beverages will be provided, but if you have a special hankering, you might want to bring that item along. Donations of edibles and potables will be welcome.

We hope to fill our home to the brim again with warmth, good cheer, and our lovely, amazing, glorious friends.

Love,
The Wilsons